A Trip Down Memory Lane
by dragonfly360
Summary: For him, it's long-term mission that involves school and too many Hollows. For her, it's life getting turned upside-down - again. And when things take a deadly turn for the worst... His duty? To protect. Hers? To survive. HitsugayaOC HitsuOC Complete.
1. Day One In Hell

Hello again, people! This is the first _**rewritten**__ chapter_. I will be updating at least once a week, maybe less. In the first few chapters, there won't be much difference apart from the fact that there shouldn't be any grammatical or spelling errors (and I changed the verb tense to the proper one lol), but from chapter three or so there will be changes in certain scenes, and in chapters six-seven the real divergence from the old direction will become apparent. Moving on, "..." is speech, when it's underlined it's written down, in italics it's thoughts, and _"..." _is something in Spanish, but written in English. Anyway, onto the story! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: You know, you wouldn't be reading this if I was the owner. It would suck if I wrote Bleach. Also, I don't own any of the real places mentioned in this story, except maybe my room.

OOO

How in the world did Yamamoto manage to rope me into this mission? As a student, _again_? In Spain no less, you know, that country renown for its warm climate.

_I should have known something was seriously wrong when the Captain Commander actually smiled at me. Well, at least it's high school... and there isn't a uniform._ I sighed as I adjusted the strap of my heavy bag on the one shoulder. _Thank god I've gotten taller, there was no way I was going to be an... an _elementary student_._

And at least no-one even thinks about teasing me any more. Hard to when you've grown a fair few inches in less than half a decade (under a fifty years, for all you earthlings out there). I may have been... short, before, but I was 5'6 now, and I looked about fifteen or sixteen.

I was in a small town, more like village, in north-eastern Spain. There were a few villages scattered in the mountainous outskirts of Barcelona, on the main roads weaving through valleys, and hundreds of individual residences on the actual hills. This particular high school was right in-between two of these villages, on the main road. I surreptitiously sniffed, frowning in distaste. There was an almost permanent traffic queue on the main road, cause of a bypass which everyone (except from the few who would have their view worsened slightly) wanted completed. With huge trucks, vans and lorries passing through the town to cross the border into France, I couldn't blame them. But the point is, the air was thick with fumes from said large vehicles. I wistfully thought of the clean, refreshing air in Soul Society.

I had forgotten how noisy cars were. And, I thought as I watched a moped leaving a trail of smoke speed past me to the small parking lot, how contaminating.

The parking lot was down one side of the school, separated by a high wall and some pavement, with the front of the school joining to form an L-shape. To get to the front doors you had to walk almost to the end of the 'L', and all the students seemed to be waiting on this particular stretch of gravel, opposite the even smaller staff parking lot. I looked at my watch, quarter past eight. Looking back at the front gates, I saw that the doors had opened and students trickling in quickly.

I sighed as I started walking forward, glad that at least that it was a solo mission, and Matsumoto wasn't going to attract any attention by pretending to be my well-endowed sister or something equally embarrassing. She didn't help the curious, often incredulous stares I often got because of my white hair and aquamarine eyes combination. I had been sorely tempted to get a gigai which didn't look like me, seeing as few people here had even blonde hair, and even less were natural.

I got close enough to the crowds to hear the constant hum of chatter and inwardly thanked the gods (_'Not you Yamamoto!'_) that I had learnt Spanish all those years ago in South America.

I silently went over who I was pretending to be as I was pushed about walking through the double doors, only one of which was open. I looked to the left and saw the long corridor leading to the corner of the 'L', with stairs up to the second floor right in front of me. I looked to the right and saw half of the corridor taken up by a square waist-high barrier around the receptionist's desk, and a glass door right next to it, leading to the actual office.

I walked up to the aforementioned square and say, in a flawless Spanish accent:

_"Hello, I am the new student."_

I had been careful to speak Spanish, noting I spoke well as the woman at the desk didn't bat an eyelid and waved me towards the glass door. I nodded politely and walked trough it, seeing on the left several computers set up at random intervals in the middle. A woman with strawberry blonde hair (fake, I might add) came up to me, documents in her hands.

_"You are the new student?" _She looks at the top document in her weighty pile, _"Alex Lopez? Fourth year?"_

I nodded, not gracing her with a verbal reply; I didn't like her already. She eyes me appreciatively for a split second before setting them down on the counter separating the computers, and her thankfully, from me. She shifts through them.

_"Here, your timetable, a list of your teachers, school regulations, building plan with the classes, locker code and key... This you don't need... This you do. You must give it to your tutor, Isabelle Diaz. Fortunately for you, you have class with her now, tutorial coincidentally, in class 23... You already have your books, yes?"_

She asks gruffly as she hands me several different sheets and a small envelope. I nod again as I flick through them until I find the building plan, looking for class 23. Second floor, right at the end of the 'L'. I was beginning to hate that letter.

_"Well, what are you still doing here, class starts in five minutes."_

Clenching my jaw slightly, I resisted the urge to send her my rather infamous death glare, but that wouldn't have been a good start to my day. Instead I didn't bother to answer and simply walked out of the office past reception and the stairs in front of the main doors, opting for the stairs further away at the corner. I looked at all the lockers and deduced that mine must also have been on the second floor, seeing as it was number 469, and the highest here is 450. I walked up the stairs, walking to the end of the hallway and stopping outside class 23. Almost as soon as I did, someone tapped me on the shoulder.

I turned around to see a woman with short curly hair and bright blue eyes smiling at me. I felt pity for her, she was barely over five feet.

_"You are Alex?"_

I nodded and did what I knew seemed like a slightly nervous smile. She lead me in to the classroom. Behind the closed door I heard the bell ring and felt sorry for anyone still out there. It was ear-splitting and grating even in here.

_"Everyone! Be quiet and sit down!" _Everyone (albeit with a few mutters and groans) found their seat and sat down in their chairs, shutting up immediately, to my relief. They then looked at me in disbelief, especially my white hair. Many of the girls were grinning at me in what they were obviously hoping was an attractive way. I felt a small surge of frustration as I also spotted guys glaring at the attention I was getting from girls they harboured crushes for. But no one uttered a word. I smirked slightly inwardly. _I like _this _woman already. Kind, but strict and knows how to control a full class._

_"This is Alex, a transfer student from England-"_

Here she was cut off by a very small girl on the right saying in a loud whisper:

_"Like Eva! A friend of mine!"_

_"Claire, shut up!"_

The girl smiles in a goofy way, trying to be endearing, and claps a hand over her mouth, laughing irritatingly a bit. Isabel shakes her head, sighing.

_"Anyway, Alex is from England, and I want you to make him feel welcome."_ She slightly turned to me then, but kept her eyes scanning the classroom. _"Why don't you sit there Alex, next to Vincent. Vincent, raise your hand."_

I nodded my head and saw a raised hand at the back of the class, thanking Isabel silently as I realised she had given me a seat there so people couldn't stare at me easily. I headed towards it, and soon saw the owner of the hand.

He had black hair that was deliberately brushed down, covering half his face, and he was wearing low black jeans, basketball shoes, and a dark blue and black striped jacket. As I sat down next to him, next to the window, I also noticed he wore black and white checked wristbands.

_"Hey."_

He greeted me quietly and with a hint of detached boredom that I suspected followed him around permanently. I merely nodded, which I was aware I was doing too much anyway. I also knew this was a fairly long-term mission, three human years. Soul Society had even gotten me a small isolated house in one of the near villages, which I had only seen briefly as I dropped off to pick up my high school necessities.

I looked toward the front of the class, glaring at anyone distracting themselves from their work to wave at me, or make other gestures. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, but as the winks and seductive smiles increased in number, I found I had to.

_"Hey, if you're from England, how come your last name is Spanish and you speak Spanish? I've been told that you don't really study _Spanish_ there."_

I heard the butchered English (e-Spanish) and I looked at the guy next to me, seeing only honest curiosity in his eyes, despite the fact that he wanted to look cool and stoic. _I can do it better, _I thought. _What an amateur._

_"I lived in South America for eight years before moving to England."_

He nodded his head slightly in acceptance, eyes turning away from me.

_"Oh, okay."_

We stayed quiet for a while, doing whatever it was we were doing, him making a bracelet, also black and white, and me, out of sheer boredom, taking mental notes on what the teacher was saying, every now and again noting who was, for lack of better words, definitely not worthy of befriending. The girls relentlessly trying to get my attention were a _big_ no-no, and the guys glaring at me also. And people the I just knew I wouldn't get along with. That left... ah, no one. I glanced to my right slightly.

Vincent. He seemed to not really care either way, and someone who was about as interested in me as I was in them was exactly who I wanted to be around. People seeing me with him or alone would assume (and correctly) that I was of a solitary nature, and perhaps it would discourage them before they even did anything to annoy me.

I surreptitiously glanced down at the note just passed to my desk. I almost frowned at the Spanish words. _Leave me alone..._

_Your hair... natural?_

I grimaced inwardly at the ample amount of space for an answer. I sighed silently and extracted a pencil in order to reply.

_Of course it's not natural._

The guy looked at my reply, and actually chuckled lowly under his breath.

_Suppose. Feeling stupid now_

I rolled my eyes good-humouredly and looked away from the paper. Vincent seemed to understand that conversation wasn't my favourite pastime and left it there. He grabbed the paper and ripped it up, crushing it into balls and proceeding to throw them at the guys staring at us. Or, more specifically, me. He ended up also throwing one at a particularly stubborn girl.

Of course, I was just humouring him with this facsimile of friendship. There was no way I was going to seriously get to know someone. I was leaving in three years, to disappear off the face of the Earth, quite literally in fact. Plus, this was a Hollow exterminating mission, and constantly having a beeping phone alert me, and then for me to run off or go to the toilet and come back acting differently, would just arouse suspicion. And seeing as the report was that there had been reports on unusually high concentrations of them in this area in and around Barcelona, I would be doubly occupied with my undead nuisance. And we didn't even know the cause, so who knew how long this mission might last. The concentrated levels were a fairly recent occurrence, but after a bit of investigating, I might discover the cause.

Yamamoto was considering the possibility that it was a human with high reiatsu, and if I found them, I was to notify Soul Society and train them to control it, until it was an unconscious action, and then erase their memories. _If_ it was an individual, or several. I was inclined to believe however, that the population in general, specifically in these valleys, had slightly higher reiatsu. Not enough to be really noticeable alone, but together they raised it enough to attract more than usual Hollow amounts. And if I proved this, or just eliminated enough of the spirits for it to leave a noticeable dent, then I would be allowed to return early.

And so, the quicker I got rid of them, the sooner I would be able to leave.

I concentrated on the teacher again, finding out she was just saying we could study or do homework.

Five minutes later the bell rang, and the teacher smiled before picking up her bag and walking out of the room. I quickly glanced at my timetable, and saw that I had class in the same room, but with a different teacher. I looked up again and saw several people troop up to stand in the corridor. They obviously found who they were looking for because not a moment later there was screaming, shouting and loud laughs.

I leant back in my seat. Day One In Hell had only just started.

OOO

Just one more hour. Only an hour of physics and the scholastic day would be over. Done. _Finito!_ But an hour happens to be synonymous with sixty minutes, which sounds like a very long time. Screw that, it _is_ a very long time. I sighed, tuning into the conversations around me.

_"They say that the new fourth year is really hot!"_

_"Yeah! I saw him at break!_

_"What did he look like?"_

I shook my head despairingly. As if a fourth year was going to be interested in a stupid little girl. I turned my head slightly, listening for something else interesting.

_"And then he said to me-"_

_"Yeah! He said something about that photo you took-"_

_"ANYWAY, he said to me that I, _I_, am a slut."_

_"You've got to admit, the picture did show your-"_

_"Don't shout!"_

I groaned and let my head fall on my desk. I vaguely registered the sound of the bell. I wondered why they made it sound so horrible. Couldn't they at least change it on Monday mornings, so that we didn't all doubly wish that we'd stayed at home, in bed, sleeping? Couldn't they make it a nice sound? Maybe a song or something?

Oh, no, wait. We suggested that last year and what did they do? They completely missed the point about changing the bell, and put on a little jingle before every announcement. And then you kept feeling like you were being told the latest offer on oranges in the supermarket.

The teacher, walked in carrying several stacks of papers, a folder and her infamous calculator. I groaned again, much louder this time. Helen noticed and looked at me, leaning over and placing a hand on my shoulder.

_"Don't worry, you won't be the only one to fail miserably."_

"_It's just to see what we remember... It's meant to be easy, and we're not meant to fail." _I reminded her dryly, leaning my head on my palm.

"_And?" _She laughed, nudging me with her elbow. I reluctantly smiled at her good humour. I glanced up at my unfortunate classmate who had been ordered to hand out the exams. I smiled slightly and thanked him, to which he laughed and rolled his eyes. I scowled, being polite was one of my traits that I would _not_ let these Spaniards corrupt.

Especially seeing as cusses flowed from my mouth like a waterfall these days. I sighed and shoved my desk to the right, away from Helen's, and prepared myself for the head-first immersion into the world of physics.

OOO

Ended it there because it seemed right. So, what do you think?

By the way, to avoid confusion about the school system in Spain, you do years One to Six (primary school) ending at eleven, and starting secondary school at 12 as a First Year. There are four years in total. This means Hitsugaya is posing as a fifteen year old. Also, the desks are in pairs, from the teacher's POV, with three columns and five rows, making the average class size about 25-30.

Also, I have revised and gone over all of my rewritten chapters, but if at any point you notice any discrepancies or things that don't add up, don't hesitate to tell me!

I hope you enjoyed!


	2. Anger Management

Well hellou! Here is the second chapter! Hitsugaya might seem a bit -okay, very- OCC in this chapter. Anyway, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Heh, I don't own Bleach, but I will soon -evil cackle-... as in, a million years.

OOO

"I'm home."

I muttered angrily as I walked up the stairs to the second floor of my house. I turned abruptly at the top, glaring down the corridor on the left before stalking down it. At the second door on the right I turned again, refraining from kicking the door open, preferring to just shove it open with my shoulder. I walked to the other end of the room and dumped my bag down on the black leather chair sitting in front of my rather large pale wooden desk. I stood still for a while, glaring out of the window, before sighing and sliding it sideways and open, feeling the cooling breeze on my face. I moved my bag off the chair, leaving it on the desk, and took its place, swivelling around a few times. I stopped and watched as everything seemed to move backward and forward. I turned the chair toward the window, leaning on the frame and windowsill. I sighed again.

_'God damnit, why is everything so... arg! I can't even think of the word!'_

I got off the chair and walked toward the bedside table right next to the door, and put down my keys, which were previously clutched in my left hand. A small set of three bells jangled loudly as I did so, and I found myself hating the sound.

_'Irritating, that's the word.'_

I flopped onto my bed, finding Cubby and cuddling him to my chest. Yes I still had a teddy bear, who was actually a polar bear, when I was fourteen. Bite me, I keep my presents.

I stared at the ceiling, thinking back on today.

First bad thing that happened today was that on the way to school, Mum and I got stuck in a traffic jam, and I arrived horrendously late for English class. _Not that I need it. I didn't miss anything important._ But, when I arrived I found my seat occupied. You see, in the front row, there are two of our friends (Helen's and mine), to the right of them in another pair of desks, another friend, and behind the two previously mentioned friends were myself and another friend. So, when one of us that went in pairs was late, the other friend took our place.

Now, that didn't annoy me, the person in question was my best friend, and I was secretly pleased every time Lily arrived late. But this time I had to sit at the opposite end of the classroom, next to the 'popular people'. Or, as I call them, 'conceited sluts'.

Laura, Natalie and Leila were the core components of this group. Laura was a dark-haired girl I had never seen in a skirt, and she was always hanging around some sixth-form guys. She smoked, skipped class frequently, shouted at teachers, got zero point zero in most tests, and didn't really seem to care if she never finished school.

Natalie was a bit more slutty, but also a bit of a tomboy. She had light brown curly hair slightly longer than mine, and she often wore a tracksuit jacket and bottoms, with the latter hung ridiculously low. When she wasn't in the toilet doing God-knows-what, she was having her face eaten off by possibly the cutest guy in our year, Eric. How she managed to pull this off was a mystery, and also slightly galling.

Leila hung round with some fourth year girls, and she was the one I liked the most. She was popular and _slightly_ conceited, but she was nice and got along with everyone and rarely got mad. She I _had_ seen in a miniskirt, but she's not intentionally slutty. But she just hangs around with the people I hate the most, not that I made this stuff well-known, and so I never really talked to her.

Anyway, I had to sit next to them as they -or at least, Laura and Natalie- contemptuously ignored me completely and talked between themselves. I had to endure their distracting giggles and pointless conversations for almost an entire hour.

After this hour came science class, in the lab. I had forgotten my book, but we were allowed to study for the exam next period anyway. I, however, had to spend it helping my friend Karen organise her 'TP'. Stupid folder thing that you have to hand in to pass the year if you'd failed it last time. Only one teacher was such an asshole, Julius Sorian.

Then came the aforementioned teachers exam, which was not only long, but difficult. Last year I heard that once only three people passed a term. At least he wouldn't be my teacher next year.

After the hard exam, which I was 99.9% sure I had failed miserably, came break.

I usually stay in the cafeteria, buying a chocolate croissant and sitting on the table in between Helen, Christina and Serge. But today I had a workbook for P.E to hand in, and today, Friday was the last day. So I spent the half-hour I had in the small library with Lily, until the librarian got fed up of the noise everyone was making, and said, and I quote, 'everyone gets out or everyone gets detention for a week'. She really knew what to say to get us to clear out in record time. We had about ten minutes until break ended, and we had sport outside today and we were both already wearing our gym clothes, so we just went outside and finished the stuff off sitting on the huge steps next to the football/basketball court.

Then, in the actual class, we had handball. Luckily I was on a team for a few months back in the UK, so I thought I would be okay. Unfortunately, they play it differently and everyone already knew how to play so I ended up looking like an idiot. Like I don't already on principle when it comes to physical activities...

After that was music, that was okay, Crusty (as we call him, and he doesn't even get mad) was one of my favourite teachers, but I found out I had to make an instrument for Tuesday. And when it comes to originality and creativity, I get _nil point_.

Then, maths. Day to hand in the project Helen and I were doing on probability. That was fine, we got the period to finish said project, and we did- just in time.

Then of course, as I was walking out I just had to bump into a certain guy I had a crush on, but he didn't even look at me. He did say sorry, in that amazingly sexy voice, and carried on walking briskly towards the exit.

The reason I hated myself was because he was soout of my league, so out of _everyone's_ league, thanks to the fact that he seemed to shun pretty much all human contact (except from perhaps my friend of a friend Vincent). I didn't even know his name, and he didn't -doesn't- even know of my existence, I bet. He didn't really know of anyone's existence. They were just... there.

A picture of his face came to mind, distracting me from my morbid thoughts, and I rolled over onto my side, giggling like the annoying school girl I let myself be occasionally. I clutched Cubby to my chest even harder. _'He's so adorably cute! And his eyes- oh my god they're perfect!'_

My thoughts rambled on like this, and in other directions, for some time, until I was distracted by the sound of my dad's voice.

"Eva! I'm going to pick up Cal okay!"

I nodded my head. And then I realised he wouldn't be able to see me and felt a bit stupid. I shouted back:

"See you later! And try to check if any good films are out!"

"Yeah!"

And then footsteps down the stairs and he was gone.

I sat up abruptly at a thought. I turned my head slowly, like in one of those horror films where the monster is right behind you. Luckily, it was a lot less dramatic, I just stared at the little digital clock in the corner of my almost floor-length mirror.

My mouth opened as my mind registered that it was actually nearly five in the afternoon.

_I have spent two hours here, since three o'clock, doing nothing but daydreaming! I'm so obsessed._ I sighed, and then froze as I heard the doorbell. I slowly got up from the bed. I lived on a dead end road shared with only three other houses. The chances of it being a neighbour rather than having to sign for some package – which I couldn't do anyway – were very slim. _But, well, if it _is_ someone who really does need help, I shouldn't make them wait long_, I thought, so I silently ran down the corridor, carrying on past the stairs, and the front door, to the kitchen. One of its windows, coincidentally, overlooked the front garden, and the front door.

I looked out of the window, and my jaw dropped for the second time in how many minutes.

_Black T-shirt, jeans, aquamarine eyes, weird spiky white hair... Who else can it be?_

In a split second I calculated that it had been about ten seconds since he had rung the doorbell, so I walked out of the kitchen and to the front door, opening it neither slowly nor quickly - I hoped.

_"Yes? How can I help you?"_

I was proud of myself when I noted that my voice was cheerful, but polite and detached. I watched with curiosity as the sex god looked away from my eyes, and still seemingly inspecting the wall next to me, said,

_"There is a group of cats in my front garden, are they yours?"_

My eyes widened, and then I frowned.

_"Kind of, I guess."_

I scratched my head confusedly.

_"Where exactly do you live?"_

He turned slightly and pointed to his right. My mind stays blank, and then... _He lives _next door_!_ Followed by many mental squeals of delight and a ridiculous amount of hope mixed with high expectations.

Outwardly my eyes widened once more, and then I regained my composure. I reached my hand forward.

_"So you're the new neighbour! Nice to meet you, I'm Eva."_

He reached out and took my hand. No, there was no electric current, but his hand did feel _very_ nice curved around mine.

_"Alex Lopez."_

Our hands separated and there was an awkward pause, which he broke by saying:

_"Please, if these cats are yours, could you come and get them. I can't, they won't come near me but I can't chase them away either."_

I smiled, pleased that I could help him.

_"Of course I can! Well, they're not really ours, but they were here before we were and I look after them, but they're not allowed in the house."_

He nodded at my explanation. Then, after motioning for me to follow him, he turned around and walked down our gravelly path to our front gate. I followed, and soon found my self in front of his own gate, and I cautiously stepped after him. I looked around surreptitiously, trying to be polite, but I had always wondered what this house – hidden from us behind a high wall covered in vines – looked like.

The front of the house was quite a dark brick colour, but maybe I just thought that because my own house was bright orange. There was a huge patio for the whole front of the house, and I could see a little pathway, probably to the back garden, down the left side of his house. His front garden was very green, with loads of small wall-climbers everywhere. But it wasn't overgrown.

I sighed and shook my head at the four cats lazing on his patio, basking in the afternoon sun.

I walked toward them, and their heads lifted slowly, regarding me, before they got up and walked toward me leisurely, twirling around my legs. I smiled down at them, before picking up my favourite; a black one with green eyes. A witch's cat, so says a long running joke of my dad's.

_"Why aren't they allowed in your house?"_

I looked back at my current crush, seeing him casually leaning on a wall nearby.

_"My sister has allergies, and my parents like dogs. They want a German Shepherd." _Here,I wrinkled my nose, expressing my distaste. _"I don't like big dogs." _I smiled and shook my head again at my stupid fearfulness.

_"Why?"_

I tilted my head, knowing that I had a horrible habit of wantonly revealing details of my past to anyone who happened to ask... especially good-looking boys I happened to like.

_"Hmmmm... Well lets just say a dog thought me running away from it was me playing a game."_

He nodded his head, curiosity then showing on his face.

_"How old were you?"_

_"Six or seven."_

I was distracted from our interchange by the black cat -I call her Midnight, clichéd I know, but I like it anyway-, licking my face. I looked down at her with a slightly shocked expression. She'd never licked me before. I heard a quiet snort of amusement, and I turned my head as I put Midnight down. _God he looks gorgeous when he's smiling... More gorgeous than normal, anyway._

_"What's so funny?"_

_"Isn't it obvious? Your face!"_

I pretended jokingly to huff indignantly, turning my head away again, with my nose in the air. Then I grinned and, using both arms, managed to carefully collect all the small cats. I looked down at the Picasso like collage of cute whiskery faces and smiled happily. I then slowly turned and made my way back, saying over my shoulder apologetically,

_"Sorry about this, but they're strays that were looked after by the previous owners, so they'll be coming back here a lot."_

_"It's okay. By the way, what are their names?"_

I knew he was following me back, because his voice was staying the same distance away.

_"Ummmm, I don't really know how to say their names in Spanish, but I named them all for their fur colour."_

_"If their names aren't in Spanish, what language are they in?"_

_"English."_

At this point I was in my front garden, on our little pagoda area a little ways away from the house, connected by the white gravel path. I gently put the cats down on the hammock, grinning at them as they moved around to get more comfortable, curling up next to each other.

Still looking down at them I say jovially _"If anyone asks, I don't know how they got there and I didn't even know they were there."_

At my newly found friends' silence, I finally looked around for him. I found him sitting down on a chair to my right (_how did he get there?_), a look of shock and bewilderment on his face. He seemed to recover quickly though, and asked me:

_"So you're _that_ Eva! The English girl!... You go to my school!"_

I tilted my head confusedly. Not the school part, I already knew that obviously. He's kinda hard to miss with hair like that. And the crush infatuation thing... Anyway.

_"What do you mean 'that Eva', who said something about me?" _I asked somewhat sharply, I did not want anyone spreading rumours about me.

_"Vincent."_

_"Ohhhhh. So you must be that Alex, the..." _My sentence drifted off as the realization sank in. _Shit, Eva, you moron..._

"...guy also from England." He finished for me.

"Hey there, kinsman!" I said, laughing.

He smiled at me, and I felt like my head was somewhere in the clouds.

"So where exactly are you from?" He inquired casually.

"Oxford," I said, knowing that he would have some remark about it (everyone does). I waved a hand to forestall any, and said "No comment necessary."

"So, what are the cats names?"

I answered while watching him warily, waiting for some jab about my lack of originality.

"The black one is Midnight-"

"Cliché."

"I _know_. Shut up and let me finish goddamnit! The chocolate one is Coco, the white one with grey and brown spots is Dusty, and Caddy is the reddish-brown one." For a second there I almost regretted cursing at him, almost worried about him taking offence, but then I realised that a corner of his mouth was uplifted ever so slightly.

"Why did you pick all their names revolving around colour?"

"At the time I didn't know anything about them except what I saw. Hell, even now I don't know their gender," I shrugged.

"Fair enough," He replied neutrally. "What would you call them now though?"

"Hmm... Emo, Skitty, Loco and, uhh... Midnight?" I laugh.

"Interesting," He says with a raised eyebrow. _Ouch..._

Suddenly his phone beeped and he pulled it out unhurriedly before flipping it open, looking at the screen.

"I should go now, see you Monday."

I did some unidentified facial expression between a smirk and smile.

"Yeah, see you."

Ten minutes later I was back where I started, curled up on my bed, Cubby clutched to me once more.

_That was like one of those cheesy teen sitcoms! Or one of those love stories! That was so impossible, but it's true! My biggest crush lives right next to me. Not that any thing's going to happen,_ I suddenly thought sadly. _I__'ve only made friends with him. That's better than I could ever have hoped for, and I'm not going to ruin it by spouting stupid fangirl nonsense. I'm happy just being near him. _But, a small voice in the back of my head thinks, it hurts. I then decide to forget about that particular facet and fantasize about what could happen. _I mean, were gonna get pretty close right? We do speak to each other in our first language... I am best friends with Helen, but some things can't be translated properly and they'll always be something I can't say... But with Alex... And the cats, a good excuse to talk and find each other for both of us..._

Once again I was pulled out of my thoughts by the doorbell. I wasn't as optimistic as to think that it would be Alex, but it might have been him, so I just got up and walked straight toward the door. Opening it slowly, I found myself face-to-face with him, again. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Back so soon?"

_Definitely a cheesy teen sitcom..._

He just smirked, copying mine from earlier, and making me melt.

Then he leans in and my eyes widen as - Mind, stop running out of control!

"The cats are back, again."

"If they're back that soon I'm afraid you'll just have to live with them."

"I was thinking about looking after them," He informs me, watching my face. The scrutiny makes me hope to all the possible Gods that I don't blush – because I happened to be one of those unfortunate teenage girls who could never ever do anything about it.

"You sure you'll be able to?" I asked, frowning. It had seemed to me like no one lived there at all, making chances of there being anyone but him, and maybe one other person, living there.

"Yes, but they haven't got used to me yet. And I've never had a pet before."

I paused, weighing the risks, before deciding that it was completely innocent and not at all revealing of my crush.

"I know what food they like and stuff, and I would like to help looking after them..."

He nodded his head, countenance grateful for the offer. I wonder inwardly if this whole trip was about getting me to help.

"Sure."

"We should make arrangements and stuff... They'll need a place to rest, toys, food and drink on a regular basis..."

"You said that you know what they like?"

I nodded, wondering where this was going with high hopes.

"When I go shopping, will you come with me?" He asked awkwardly, like he was afraid I would say no. _As if!_

"What? A guy is actually asking a girl to help him shop? It's unheard of!"

"So will you?" He asks, his voice gaining a slight edge and gruff quality.

"Yeah, of course!"

He smiled at me, and I felt my insides melt. I got a tighter grip on the door frame... my knees had gone weak. I told myself harshly to get together. Concentrate on the present situation.

"I think the best way to let them get used to you would be to have them around you often... Or you could just give them food. Worked for me."

He smirked slightly and opened his mouth, to make a sarcastic remark no doubt, but stopped at the sound of a car coming down the road.

"Oh no," I groaned. "Please, no offence, but leave now! If Dad sees me talking to a guy he'll tease me about it for _years_."

He tilted his head, considering me stoically.

"See you later then."

I sighed, relived he wasn't angry, and watched as he moved with surprising speed to hind behind the wall next to our front gate. As the car came down the driveway on the steep slope, I waved and saw Dad wave back. As soon as it had disappeared into the garage, I made a motion in Alex's general direction and he quickly darted across out into the road, and through his own front gate.

In a daze, I turned around and shut the door behind me, walking into the kitchen. I poured a glass of coke and took a huge sip.

_There is no way that just happened. _I smiled happily. _I've certainly got some interesting days ahead of me..._

OOO

So, what do you think? Maybe it's a bit fast moving and all. But next time it'll be -ahem- Alex's POV so we'll see what he thought of all this.

And this is probably going to be the longest continuous scene... In fact it might be the longest I've ever done. Well done to me! I hope you enjoyed (:


	3. Escapism

Disclaimer: I have not, do not, and will not own Bleach. Ever.

OOO

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! The more you get attached the more it'll hurt to say goodbye!..._

I sighed as I looked down at the cell to confirm the Hollows' location. I started to rant at myself mentally as I realised it would take awhile to get there. Of course, on the outside I looked like my usual stoic self. Not that anyone can see me.

_And I was just _standing there_, smiling and even laughing like a complete idiot. What the hell is wrong with me?... But I can't get away from it now, we've already made a deal... And I do speak English much better than Spanish. I didn't know I had such good acting skills. How would she have reacted if I told her: "I saw you today at break, recognised you as my next door neighbour, and deliberately picked up the cats lounging in the road just to talk to you"? Something like screaming "stalker", or probably a laugh and a "you didn't have to do all that". I can't believe that I actually managed to get myself into a situation where Vincent had one over me... and of course, what would give him more laughs than making me ask out a girl? Of course, I managed to sort of get out of that one... I'm making this so difficult. Should I make friends and make the most of three years?_

I forced my mind away from the question. No, was the answer. It was not professional, nor was it fair to either party. No.

So why did I get the feeling that this time it would be hard?

I stopped shuunpoing as I arrived at a beach of Barcelona. This was not good. Destroyed buildings, cracked pavements, all those things can be put down as something else. And if worst comes to worst, you can erase the memories of the few people who don't believe the excuse. But big obviously non-human footprints all the way down the beaches, with some squished things here and there... There was no way to cover it up, without having a mass memory-erasing session. I quickly glanced down again and saw that the Hollow was not moving. I frowned. Hollow don't just stand there, not like they're waiting for something...

I shook my head as I started shuunpoing again, feeling its reiatsu as I got closer. I must just have been over-analysing. Then my blood turned cold as I realised I had missed the most obvious explanation: it had been stopping to feed. On a soul. I gritted my teeth and upped my speed. Maybe I wasn't too late...

I turned a corner after a rather large hotel with a golden whale thing, and saw it. It wasn't very large, for a Hollow, only about three times my height. It had really long clawed arms that reached all the way down to the pavement, and its mask, strangely enough, had holes in it. I ran forwards, moving around quickly to come up behind it. Hyourinmaru swung down in a graceful arc and the Hollow disintegrated. I sheathed my Zanpakuto and turned around, following its reiatsu trail to see where it had been. It hadn't been anywhere near the beaches.

_Thank God. It would have been very messy, clearing it up. _I thought with relief as I made my way back.

Although I exterminated it without a hitch, I couldn't help but stop thinking about the Hollow. What kind of Hollow just stands there, has holes in its mask, and doesn't even try to defend itself?

OOO

_"Oh my god. Oh my god. Eva! Oh my god. Oh my-"_

_"Will you do me the favour of shutting up?"_

_"I just can't believe it!"_

I rolled my eyes.

_"Me neither."_ I didn't say it, and it didn't look like it, but I actually meant it. And she knew that too.

Helen squealed excitedly, and then abruptly calmed down. Waving a hand in the air dismissively, she said:

_"It's passed."_

_"Thank god. Hey, was there any maths homework?"_

_"I don't think so."_

I snorted amusedly.

_"Think being the main word."_

She did a thumbs-up and a cheesy ear-to-ear grin, making me fake a minor heart attack.

_"The brightness! It burns!"_

We looked at each other for a second before bursting out laughing. Both of us leant forward to rest our foreheads on our desks, arms around our shaking stomachs. It was always like this. Randomly changing subjects, and we always ended up laughing our asses off. It was the main reason my notes were going downhill. Before I was friendless, just for the reason I couldn't really talk to people. But me and Helen were almost exactly the same, it was actually quite weird how similar we were. I had found out over the years just how important friends were, and didn't really care enough to worry about my notes. I wasn't failing any subjects - far from it, but I wasn't going to get five excellents in my report card like last year. God, I was such a nerd...

_"Quiet, quiet!"_

We leant back, wiping non-existent tears from the corners of our eyes, still giggling.

The whole lesson was spent in relative quietness, me and Helen passing my agenda back and forth, filling up most of the pages with a silent conversation. She informed me of her newest crush, Adrian, while I informed her that she will have forgotten who he is by next month. She's hopeless.

I zoned out as the bell rang. I knew my next lesson was technology (oh, joy!), in the same classroom. I stared blankly at the looming face in front of me. I surreptitiously sneaked my foot from its place next to my chair leg, and swept it forward, causing Serge to almost fall over, then grab onto my desk, making himself and my desk fall over with a resounding crash.

_"Idiot."_ I managed to say calmly before I burst out laughing. Serge huffed indignantly before flicking a 'V' at both of us and exiting the classroom. Helen, still pissing herself, waved at him jovially.

I looked up as my name was called out on the intercom for the second time. I didn't even realise because all the names always sounded the same. The teacher stopped to listen, recognising my name and motioning for me to leave. I stood up, shrugging at Helen's confused expression.

Heading out of the class, I walked down the hallway, stopping at information, stating that I had been called. The secretary told me to get my stuff because I would be leaving, and handed me a signed note for my teacher. When I asked her if she knows anything, she just said one of my parents had called, and said something about an emergency. She obviously knew this would just worry me even more. I quickly headed back, showing my teacher the note and putting all my stuff in my bag.

_"What's happened?"_

Lily asked nervously.

_"I don't have any idea. I only know that it's an emergency, and that I have to go now."_

_"Okay."_

_"I'll tell you about it tomorrow, see you!"_

I retraced my footsteps and sat down on the bench perpendicular to the front doors, settling down to wait.

About five minutes later, I looked up from the realization of my bad habit of picking at my thumbs, surprised. I had felt the air moving and the sound of someone sitting down next to me. It was Alex.

"What are you doing here?"

"Some little kids tried to beat me up."

"Why?"

He raised a silver eyebrow as if to ponder to himself my stupidity and pointed upwards.

"Oh." I giggled, hating myself for it a second later. "I forgot for a second there."

He just nodded. I was about to question further but then I saw... I didn't even know his name, but he had been... not bullying exactly, but doing stupid and annoying stuff since I first came here. So, for a year and a bit. He had curly close-cut blonde hair, and blue eyes. I was surprised to see the little titch (who was even shorter than me!) looking bruised and battered. His stupid and also annoying friend, this guy with short black hair, was even shorter than him. He had always reminded me of a ball. Must have been because of his usually short legs and round middle. He too was bruised, but no where near as much.

"Hang on, did you say _tried_ to beat you up." I turned back to Alex.

He smirked at them dangerously, to which the blond scowled, before turning to me and showing me his left cheek, which had been hidden before. I frowned at the bruise on his jaw, and was surprised when I felt the ache of wishing I could comfort him. Inwardly, this revelation unsettles me, but I baulk at the thought of revising my feelings for the strange boy next to me. But I didn't want him thinking that I was unhappy with him for hurting the two idiots, so I looked back at his eyes and smiled. He just tilted his head at me.

"You do realise that I just did that, don't you?"

He whispered to me, waving a hand towards to two boys still visible through the glass door, heading towards the infirmary.

"Yes. But they've been... irritating me since I got here. Why, I have no idea. And by the way, no-one can understand what we're saying, so there's _no need to whisper_."

I whispered back loudly, leaning in and putting a hand next to my mouth, ending with a faithful reproduction of my sister's stage whisper. I pushed back down the heat wanting to rise to my cheeks (with little to no success, unfortunately... which kind of ruined the effect) as Alex leant in further.

"Oh yeah." He leant back.

"So are you here for that," I pointed to his jaw, "or for beating them" I jerked a thumb over my shoulder "up so badly they can't walk straight?"

He shrugged. "I haven't got a clue." He glanced at me. "Why are you here?"

"Well, my parents called and said it was an emergency, and that I have to leave now."

He frowned, seeming far more worried than expected, which makes me want to smile. But then my thoughts touch upon how wrong I'd been about my feelings and I shy away.

"But don't worry about it. I'm sure it's nothing too serious."

The second the dismissive words left my mouth, Mum hurried through the door, looking worried and flustered. She came over to me, looking curiously at Alex.

"Hi hun. Who is this?"

I debated whether to tell her that he lives next door, but thought better of it. My mum knew not to tell the males of the family _anything_, at all, but she forgets much when tired and or drunk.

"This is Alex. He just transferred here from the UK."

"Oh. Nice to meet you then, Alex. I'm Tracy."

She smiled at him warmly, but somehow she seemed sad and forlorn. A sort of kicked puppy look. It was one I'd rarely seen before.

He smiled at her, obviously not noting what I had, only something capable of someone who knew her really well. "Pleased to meet you."

"Pleased to meet you too. Eva, we need to go now." She says somewhat urgently, and I knew that Alex hadn't been there we would already have been hurtling down the road in the Ford.

"OK," I stood up and picked up my heavy bag, having a surreal moment when I do something normal – that is, to speculate about my homework. "See you later Alex."

I waved and followed Mum through the still open doors, watching her as she almost ran toward where our car was parked in the closest place possible (apart from the staff car park), due to the fact that there weren't any other cars around halfway through first period. I followed mum to the car, dumping my bag in front of me, between my legs and getting into the passenger seat. Mum turned and quickly drove down the road, turning onto the main road that would take us to the city.

"Mum, are we going to pick up Cal?"

"No, we're not."

I wasn't sure whether she thought I was asking if the whole point of this was something to do with Cal, or if he was involved. I hoped that either way it meant that whatever was happening didn't involve the whole family.

"Mum, what's happened?"

She glanced at me quickly, only for a second, but I saw clear as day that she was wondering whether she should tell me or not.

"We're going to the airport."

"What? Why? Are we going somewhere or is someone coming here?"

"We're going somewhere."

"Where?"

By then I'd figured that to know anything I would have to drill her for every bit of information.

"The UK."

"Whereabouts in the UK? It's quite big you know. Well, sort of, in a not relatively-to-most-other-countries way."

"Leo's place."

"Oh. Why?"

"Because..." Mum sighed, seeming frustrated. "look, I'll tell you when...when we get there, okay?"

"Okay. But I don't have any clothes."

"I packed some for you."

"You did?"

"Yes, in the back." She waved a hand, indicating behind her. I turned to see our smallest suitcase slotted in behind Mum's seat. I turned a bit more to free my arms and pulled it out, putting it across my knees.

"What did you pack?"

"Your black sports trousers, your black skirt, jeans, the NYC top your sister gave you, the Betty Boop t-shirt, your green v-neck, a blue jacket, some socks of mine (here I grinned. Me and mum had almost the same size feet, so we were always stealing each others socks and shoes, and more recently, tops), underwear..."

I opened the case and find that mum had put in most of my favourite stuff, much more than what she had just told me. Zipping it back up, I put it back where it was.

"Where's your stuff?"

"The boot."

"How long are we staying there for anyway?"

"I don't know yet."

"Okay."

I shrugged and leant back in my seat, glad that I had my mp3 with me. Putting in my headphones, I chose a calming song, and hoped that nothing too bad has happened. Or was going to happen. But looking at mum, at the way she was driving much faster than usual, which was fast anyway, and considering that we don't know how long we'll be there, and that she won't tell me why we're going... _I don't think I'll be that lucky._ I looked away, out of the car window, and leant my head back.

_I've never been that lucky anyway, and I've gotten though everything so far, _I reassured myself offhandedly, biting the inside of my lip as I tried to shove away my vision of a dark sky fraught with terrifying storm clouds.

OOO

The flight was okay. Usually I loved flying, loved the excitement of knowing you were going on holiday. That you were going some place new, with loads of spending money waiting, lots of treats, probably a pool, staying out late, no school, and generally doing what you wanted when you wanted. I loved all the shops, the little cafés in the airport. The whole long routine you had to do before actually being able to get on the plane.

I didn't know how mum had managed to book a flight in such short notice, if it was short notice, or how this time the passports appeared straight away. But it was the same as usual, except it was only me and her. Any other time I would have loved it, no annoying brother, or moody father. But this time all I could think of was that mum was hurrying. We only stopped once, to buy snacks for the flight. And then came the usual waiting. We finally got onto the plane, and I was glad to see that I had a window seat. The flight passed as a blur, soon we were walking down a corridor, getting our bags. We got a taxi to Oxford, to where one of Mum's friends still lived. I was glad. Because he had a fish and chip shop on the same road.

_Oh, how I've missed English food! _

We arrived, me with my small suitcase and my bag, mum with her slightly larger suitcase.

Mum walked up the front steps, knocking. The door opened quite quickly, which is surprising seeing as it's Leo, who may just be _the_ most laid-back person in existence. He even talked slowly, I had often imagined him being held at gun point and being shot because his captives got tired of waiting to hear what he was eventually going to get round to say. It was as if his muscles weren't built for rapid movement – least of all his tongue. After a second of cerebral inactivity, I looked properly at the tall, slim form that had been revealed. ...With short, but thick blonde hair, and blue eyes. My mouth dropped open. That was _not_ Leo! I finally managed to close my mouth. Then I opened it almost straight away.

"Aaron!"

"Hey there. Glad to see me?" He laughed, eyes sparkling cheekily.

Mum just smiled at us, laughed to herself shakily and walked past us into the house, in the direction of the living room. I tried to follow, stopping when I heard the door close behind me and a voice next to me say:

"What, not even a hug?"

I grinned and drop my bags, turning around and wrapping my arms around the middle of one of my best friends, my first boyfriend (well, I was five, but I liked to think that it counted), and the guy I had secretly loved since last year. His went around my shoulders and my waist. We broke apart, and he stepped back, holding out a hand just below his shoulder.

"Last time I saw you, you were here!" He moved his hand up to the bottom of his chin, "and now you're here!"

"Nice to see you too." I laughed at him, immensely pleased. Aaron was indeed a tall boy, but he hadn't gained any inches in a few years. I, however, still had a little time to catch up.

"Ah, nice to see you now, but I might get sick of you."

"Why's that? You can always avoid me if you want to."

I turned a bit to pick up my bags, almost dropping them again as he stated calmly,

"Because we're sharing a room."

I turned to look at him over my shoulder, straightening up again.

"Why?"

"Because I'm already in the room with the bunk beds."

"Oh. OK."

"No squeal?"

"Of what, disgust?"

"Of delight!"

I laughed and asked him to show me to his room. I shook my head as I followed him up the stairs.

"That bag is pink. Back to being a Barbie girl already?"

"Is not! It's red!"

"Yeah yeah, if you say so."

"Shut up!"

"Now why would I want to do that?"

We finally make it to the room. He turned around and grinned, watching me drop my bags on the floor. We went back downstairs, revealing Mum and Leo sitting in the kitchen, with Isaac and Sam on the living room couches. I hadn't expected Leo's Boys to be here, seeing as they lived with their mother in Wales. I greeted everyone enthusiastically, smiling. The Boys were one of the things I had sorely missed after the move to Spain, and the thought of them would always be tied in with the rare sunny days, games, holidays together and the innocent laughter of childhood.

After a while Aaron asked me if I wanted to play on the Playstation. I followed him back again to my new room for however long I was staying here. I was surprised when I'm pulled back and turned around.

Aaron closed the door, leaning forward. I could almost feel my pupils dilate as I realised what was happening; the very thing I had wanted since I had seen him again all those months ago on his visit to Spain. I met him halfway and he sighed, putting his arms around me.

I was stunned. Their visit had only lasted five days, and the hints that he had also felt something for me hadn't been non-existent, as such, but they hadn't been cause for undue hope. And yet, here he was, being so... _bold_. Aaron was generally quite a confident guy, but that utterly failed him when it came to girls. This only served in furthering his appeal for me, he still had that smile with the lazy charm, but an Aaron with cheeks tinged red made me want to hug him with all my meagre might. As he pulled away I opened my eyes slowly, and while I was looking at his open, smiling and somewhat amazed expression, my thoughts inexplicably drifted back to a certain white-haired boy... An unexpected wave of guilt and shame hit me, and it was all I could do to not let it show on my face. To cover it up, I gave him a quick peck on the lips before ducking under his arm and flopping on to the bottom bunk.

"Ratchet and Clank?"

"Sure."

He smiled and lay down next to me.

However long I was staying here, it was going to be hectic. I just hoped I survived and managed to finally pry out of Mum why we were here in the first place.

I sighed and picked up the controller, thinking that it was _wrong_, utterly, utterly _wrong_, that I wish it was Alex here now, accidentally touching my leg with his own and nudging me in the ribs.

...Oh God.

OOO

I fumed as I lay in the top bunk. I had liked Aaron for ages, loved him for almost as long, and he finally started to like me back, but now I've got a stupid crush interfering and occupying my mind. Hell, I even felt guilty! But I wasn't sure who I felt like I had betrayed, and that scared me more than I cared to admit...

Sighing, I put my headphones in my ears again and decided to ponder what information I had managed to get from mum and my own observations.

_Okay... Lets start with the most obvious... It's just me and mum; we left without warning anyone that we would be leaving, meaning that dad and Cal may or may not know; we've come to Leo's place, because he's mum's friend, or because he lives in Oxford; mum must have planned this, because no-one from work has phoned, and it's impossible to get a flight in one day that isn't _really _expensive; so mum knew we were leaving, but she was hurrying, but just to get here, and then she slowed down, acting like everything was okay; meaning that Leo and the boys only knew me and her were coming, but not for any "emergency"; she made it sound like an emergency, but she looked more like a criminal on the run; and she wouldn't tell me before hand where we were going, or before that even, that we were leaving, because she wasn't sure whether I would protest or... mention it to dad!_

I bolted upright, before making a worried face. I turned down the Linkin' Park and leant over the edge, to make sure Aaron was still asleep. He didn't move, say anything rude or lash out, which he had a penchant for doing when woken up, so I leant back down and tried to relax.

_But there's just no way this is a coincidence... what mum mentioned to me, that time, that she would try to kick dad out, that she would have to do research on how to do it... she must have thought that she wouldn't be able to, and instead... maybe she left instead, and took me with her._

I rolled over onto my side, turning up the volume.

I just hoped that... somehow, things will... I want to stay in Spain. I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood and nearly came to tears as I realised that.

For so long, I wanted to leave, to come back here, where all my old friends are, and Aaron... I almost laughed at how much he influenced things... But now, when I could possibly be moving here, I didn't want to be.

_But I will. I won't complain. Or make this any harder for her. For anyone. I've moved and left everything behind for her and dad once, and I could do it again._

_Because I'm good at that._

OOO

Just so there is no confusion, this _is_ a HitsuOC. I've added Aaron and Eva's... my... our... urgh... _the_ infatuation for him for... reasons that are secret at this moment in time. Hehe, don't hate me, and please leave a review!


	4. Reality

Hello hello! I decided to update (because I'm on a roll and I want to do this before the tedious thing of rewriting almost an entire story...), sorry for the wait but I just don't have enough time to write up an entire chapter (of a decent enough length) in less than a week. Maybe if I got all day on the laptop? It seems that the regular update time is about a month. Hopefully I'll be able to remedy that soon, but unfortunately no promises. Anways, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own only the OCs...

OOO

I sat down at my desk, which was still at the back, thankfully, and slumped almost immediately. This new bizarre phenomena of Hollow – which I had reported to Yamamoto for information to no avail – had been keeping me immensely busy and had taken me to what seemed like every street in Barcelona.

_"Hey."_

Vincent greeted, sitting down next to me and propping his feet on the desk. I opened my mouth to say something when I saw Claire start to walk over. I groaned lowly, nudging my deskmate.

He opened his eyes as she arrived next to us.

_"Hi!"_

She said happily, waving (...she was right there. Was waving really necessary?). Then her smile shrunk and I wondered if I had accidentally glared or something.

_"Have you guys seen Eva?"_

She asked, looking between us and beginning to worry her lip. I shook my head slowly and Vincent said, picking his feet off the desk and letting his chair fall back onto four legs with a bang,

_"No, why're you asking?"_

_"It's just that Helen said she left yesterday before break started, and she hasn't come in today, and she hasn't called."_

_"Maybe she's asleep or something. I would be, if I had a day off."_

_"Yeah maybe."_

I decided to add in my own two cents.

_"I spoke to her when she was waiting to leave, she didn't know anything, including where she was going, but she obviously assumed she'd be coming in today."_

_"Oh. I guess I'll call her then."_

Claire said after a moment's hesitation, taking out her phone and speed-dialling.

I felt a pang of pity for her, someone she didn't know that well and who was in a different year entirely was on her speed-dial. Then again, I couldn understand; she was simply so irritating. And I had no-one at all on mine. Depressing...

Claire bit the skin just below the nail of her thumb, on the tip, while she waited. Vincent slumped onto his desk, arms folded and the face of someone beyond boredom. I sighed and looked out of the window. Claire's expression abruptly brightened and she smiled widely.

_"_Hello! _It's me!"_

She clicked a little button, putting it on speaker. Then she sat herself on our desks (_no_, I screamed inwardly, _go awaaaay!_), holding the phone out a little bit. I remained indifferent, chin resting on my hand with my elbow on the table, but I still found my eyes firmly attached to the phone.

_"What godforsaken hour is this, people!... (a sigh) Hello?"_

Eva's voice sounded tired, but cheerful (although somewhat off) and a little surprised that we had called. The sound of footsteps was audible.

_"Hello!"_

Vincent snickered and then spoke, leaning forward.

_"...Am I on speaker or something? Who's there?"_

There was a pause, as she shouted something to someone over her side, it sounded like 'I don't want any, thanks!'.

_"Me, her, and him."_

Vincent replied jokingly. I sent him a look. He was cheerful today.

I could just imagine her rolling her eyes. She obviously put her phone on speaker too, because we could hear the sounds of cars, and voices that dimmed as a door closed.

_"Thanks, that's so helpful."_

She replied, dripping every word with sarcasm.

_"He means himself, Vincent, lord of all noobs, Claire, and me, Alex."_

Claire and Eva burst out laughing as Vincent scowled and I smirked at him, wanting to stick out my tongue but feeling that that would have been too childish, even though I was pretending to be fif_teen_.

_"Hello there, Alex, Claire, Lord of all Noobs..."_

She addressed us in a very formal voice, which was kind of ruined at the end, where she let out an amused sounding 'huh'. Vincent crossed his arms and looked away from us, jaw tight as he replied that he _was_ a lord, but not of noobs. Eva laughed and then carried in a normal voice.

"_Why're you calling?"_

_"Because you left yesterday and we're worried."_

Claire said, smiling the entire time. I put in my own comment.

_"Speak for yourself. The lord of all noobs is a complete narcissist."_

_"Shut up!"_

I rolled my eyes, feeling my lips twitch.

_"So anyway, what did happen?"_

_"Well, Mum picked me up. We drove to the airport. And now I'm in the UK." _I almost laughed as I realised that Eva also said '_Mama_', which was the equivalent of 'Mum', but still sounded so childish. I would never have been able to envision her saying '_mama_' and keeping a straight face.

_"Doesn't sound like an emergency."_

Claire said thoughtfully, tapping her lip.

_"Yeah, well..."_

The bells rang, and I grimaced, leaning down to retrieve my Spanish textbooks. Vincent groaned, muttering out a 'be back in a minute' before he headed off to his locker to get his bag.

I was about to say goodbye to Eva when she laughed... sort of evilly.

_"Well, sounds like you have to go. Class awaits. I'll see you guys... later."_

_"Bye!"_

Claire chirped happily, and just as she was about to snap her phone shut Eva's voice sounds again, but this time in English.

"Oh, and _Taichou_, we're going to have to postpone the shopping trip. For the cats, I mean. Call me later, Toush?"

I froze, before blinking and relaxing my muscles forcefully. _Stay calm._ _How does she... You'll find out when you call. Until then, leave it alone._ I told myself as I caught Claire's confused look. She mouthed at me 'what did she say?'. I simply shook my head.

"Yeah, I'll call you later."

I said in as normal a voice as I could muster, and she said bye before hanging up. Claire smiled at me, shrugged at my refusal to elaborate on what had been said, and turned, laughing sheepishly at the teacher who had been standing there staring straight at her. She rushed back to her seat just as Vincent opened the classroom door, closing it after him.

After getting a mark with the infamous red pen and having to go outside again so he could knock and come in properly, he finally arrived at his seat and sat down, grumbling. Normally I might have shrugged and said that it was his own fault. Instead I had a million and one questions running through my head, despite my attempts to put it out of my mind, the most of them prominent being:

_'What is she?'_

I shifted uneasily, not wanting to think about the implications of her knowing such things. Then I sighed, and for the first time since I had gotten here, gave my full attention to the class.

OOO

I exhaled shakily and slid my phone shut. I breathed loudly and crossed my fingers, hoping that he wouldn't jump to conclusions. I slid my phone into my pocket, turning to enter through the back door. I came face to face with Mum, who eyed me and then asked quietly, after glancing behind her and closing the door,

"Why did you show you know things you shouldn't?"

I just stared at her. "Why didn't you?"

She sighed and looks away.

"I did tell you. I taught you to use it, to control it... to conceal it."

I paused, an image of a huge field with trees on three sides, with the lampposts shining light far away coming to mind.

"You taught me to use it?"

She nodded. "Only if for some reason your control slipped."

"Did it?"

She stopped looking everywhere that wasn't me, and glanced at me. "Don't get guilty," She warned me.

"I'm not making any promises," I said stubbornly, raising my chin defiantly.

"The fire, when you were seven."

I stopped breathing for a second as my mouth dropping open. In dazed horror, I stared at her. _I'm not supposed to feel guilty about _that_! I nearly killed my entire family! Parts of the house were completely destroyed! _I looked down and clenched my fists. _Never again, _I vowed vehemently.

"You know, when I asked what was going on, I didn't expect you to say that we were being chased by giant invisible once-dead people who can blow up buildings and have been hunting us since before I was born."

I said glumly, looking up at her and then walking around her and going through the doorway and entering the kitchen. I walked up the stairs, arriving at the room where I was staying and climbing up to the top bunk. Sliding to the end, I lay down and tried to calm myself. I found myself thinking, in a half disbelieving way (okay, in a very disbelieving way), about everything that I had learnt in the past few hours.

One:_ Dad and Cal are missing. _A lump formed in my throat, but I swallowed past it.

Two: they were actually just guards that masqueraded as family I've never met, but Mum never said if she was included in this group. I assumed so.

Three: we were here because the people that killed them were looking for us.

Four: those people, known as Hollows, were being controlled by someone.

Five: that someone is meant to be dead (or, is meant to have died and become a new soul, with no memories. It was the same as dead if you felt like being honest). Apparently Mum knows this without being privy to who this person actually is (yeah, _right_).

Six: there was an actual 'heaven'.

Seven: some of the dead people that go there become 'Death Gods'.

Eight: these _shinigami_ are meant to recycle souls.

Nine: Hollows are spirits that never went to 'heaven' and now eat other spirits.

Ten: I'm actually dead, seeing as both my parents are _shinigami_. My 'body' is actually fake, and is designed to keep me ignorant about the afterlife and all its aspects.

Oh, and I guess I should mention I got some history about _Seretei_ too, the Winter War, the _Gotei 13_, the captains and lieutenants, _Rukongai_... That's how I found out that 'Alex' was actually Hitsugaya Tōshirō, Captain of the Tenth Division. He suddenly seemed so much more intimidating.

"Hey, I'm... you know, if you wanna talk..."

Aaron's arms reached over the ladder, and his head came into my peripheral view. He eyed me, but I didn't turn to look at him. He climbed up a few more steps to lean over me and peer at my face. He blinked and looked a little uncomfortable as he spotted that I was crying. I sniffed unattractively and wiped my eyes, though I knew it would be a while until the tears actually stopped.

He sighed in what I hoped was sympathy and lay down behind me, pulling me to him. I rolled over and buried my face into his chest.

"Then again, you don't have to talk. You can try to drown me instead."

He whispered after a while, and I chuckled, turning my head a little so I could wipe my eyes again. I sniffled, and looked up at him, before sighing again and hugging him.

"I'm going to leave soon."

"I figured. When?"

"...Tonight at the latest."

I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. What I didn't mention is that I won't see him again. Ever. My heart, which had been slowly aching as it separated into little pieces, gave an extra sharp pang. And then I let out a breath and decided: I _had_ to tell him.

"I'm... not going to come back."

I said, even quieter. He just pulled me closer and I bit my lip. Why did he have to make this so much harder? Why did I have so many things to miss?

"I won't ask, but wherever you'll be, you'll email right? 'Cos I need to speak to someone with an IQ that's not zero every once in a while."

I smiled despite my tears. "'Sa wonder you lived before you met me," I murmured.

He chuckled. "Yeah." He sighed, pulling away and leaning up on an elbow. I looked confusedly at him as he raised a finger and gently traced it underneath my left eye. He raised his eyebrows and and then settled into an expression I had never seen before.

"Eva... Did you know that you were going to have to leave when you got here?"

I raised one eyebrow and lowered the other at him. "I didn't assume that I was coming to live here, Aaron."

"No... but..." He considered me, looking worried. "Why did you kiss me Eva?" He asked finally, slowly, as if afraid of the answer. I looked down.

"Why wouldn't I kiss you?" I eventually mumbled, cheeks reddening a little more.

"What are you saying, Eva?"

_Stop saying my name... Stop! Forget me! Please, don't hurt yourself over this! _I wished I could scream at him, or grab him and repeat it over and over until he got it.

"Aaron, I'm leaving. Why make this harder than it has to be?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair at my plea.

"Because, Eva, I need to know, otherwise I'll spend the rest of my life wondering if that beautiful little Eva actually liked me." He whispered, taking my hand and lying his head on the pillow next to mine. I glanced up at him, feeling the tears threaten again. I swallowed, but the lump defied me and breathing got increasingly more difficult.

"Yes, Aaron, I do." I wished I was strong enough to add that, _actually, I love you. And I never loved anyone before you and I'm going to miss you so much and I lived hoping to be able to see your face again. _I felt the tears overspill as I realized the truth of my thoughts... and how my mind also added: _but you might not be the last... nor the only._

"I'm sorry, Eva. But you understand why I asked, right?"

I nodded, wishing I didn't. Hate would have made things a little easier.

OOO

After wondering if I should have called or waited for her to get back, and then stupidly realising that she might not _be_ back, and that she said to call, I decided to call her at break... or lunch. But I couldn't imagine myself completely alone, with no one listening (that is to say, eavesdropping). Of course, no human would have understood much, but the real people I didn't want overhearing were the people who would. It was too risky anyway: I was fairly sure that it was better to keep quiet about the whole situation, and not say anything even to Yamamoto.

After school it was. And not with the phone given to me by Urahara, or the house phone. They could have been recording and tracing my calls. I was willing to hear Eva out, but I doubted anyone else would be.

_Should I trust her?_ I wondered somewhere during my English class. I didn't know how much she knew, how she came around to knowing it, how long she had known it, or what it meant. Perhaps my Captain Commander knew, and it would be me in danger after hearing classified information. Either way, I had to be secretive, no matter how much it grated against my nerves. _Well, at the very least I should regard her with suspicion, _I decided eventually._ Humans _are not_ meant to be privy to things like this. They end up trying to play god... Or is she human? _

I scowled somewhat as I realised that I had done a full circle and had, yet again, returned to the same question. _Stop thinking about it, T__ō__shir__ō, you idiot! You've already debated whether she could be a Shinigami on a mission, an exile, a Vizard, a hybrid, from a clan like the Quincys, or someone who for some reason can't return to Soul Society... You went on and _on _and grasped at straws and came up with the most far-fetched ideas..._

_Just wait and lets see what she says. She might be lying through her teeth the whole time, or she might not be. She sounded nervous... but that could also be part of the plan. You never know._

_...I have major trust issues. But I guess we're meant to. "Better to be safe than sorry", as they say._

I sighed, and decided to ignore all this... useless worrying. It wasn't going to make anything go any faster, and I might as well justwait for today's lessons to end.

_Or you could leave your gigai to suffer and go home. Then call._

I blinked and felt like hitting myself. Or banging my head down on my desk.

_...I'm so stupid, _I groaned inwardly, and then altered Hyōrinmaru's plan so that I would have another mobile phone to call with. Never mind how I acquired it...

_No need to insult me, brat. And you could use hers_, he added, and I nodded my head in acquiescence.

Agreed, I replied, a corner of my mouth curled and lifted at his amused tone. I took out my (disgusting, but don't say that to the females) Chappy pill dispenser. Remembering the no food or drink rules, I surreptitiously popped one in my mouth and sighed in a relieved way as I separated from the rather heavy and lugging fake body. Turning back to the gigai, I instructed it to act like me, to not draw attention to myself (the two are mutually exclusive, but still) and to basically keep quiet. It rested its head on its hand and nodded slightly, eyes focused on the board in a slightly bored way.

"And do not, under any circumstance, use your powers."

Was my parting line (accompanied with a charming glare) before I jumped out the thankfully open window, landing in the basketball slash football court. Jumping up again, I flash stepped towards my 'home'. I arrived and calmly landed on the roof, taking a short second to adjust my balance, before scanning the surrounding area.. Then I stared at the person standing in Eva's front garden.

"Matsumoto?"

She nodded and appeared next to me. I sensed something was wrong; Matsumoto was such an upbeat individual, this had to be serious.

"I was going to call you to get you to come, but you're already here."

She finally smiled, though it seemed a bit strained.

"Why are you here?"

"We discovered that the fifth noble clan survivors live here."

My eyes widened at the mention. The clan hunted to (what everyone believed to be) extinction more than a century before, for unknown reasons and by an unknown enemy.

"The Arima?" I asked, purely for confirmation. _This is actually worse than I expected..._

She nodded, eyes grave.

"Yes. Genryuusai-sama wants to talk to you."

Turning I quickly entered the house, arriving in the living room. I grimaced slightly and the large purplish TV screen that was turned on, with the Captain Commander already waiting.

"Hitsugaya-Taichou, I have something of great importance to discuss with you."

I nodded, waiting patiently, although my mind was spinning and slightly ignoring him. I would probably be punished in some way or another for not greeting him formally, but I could not bring myself to care.

_Eva is part of the Arima clan. She's a Shinigami. When did she find out? Is this connected to why she left?_

_...Does she even know who she _is_?_

"We need you to find the heir to the Arima clan. Immediately."

I didn't say anything as I watched him intently, trying to appear calm.

"Although she has left the country entirely, she is in great danger. Find her and bring her back with you. She is now under your protection."

"Yes, Genryuusai-sama."

I bowed slightly and respectfully, and he nodded in acknowledgement before the screen went blank.

Turning, I paused for a second to reorganize my thoughts, then I left the house and jumped over the fence. I went over to her house, and into her kitchen through a window facing the way I was coming from. I jumped over the counter, steadying myself. Picking up the phone and, checking the number I on my own phone, I dialled, tapping my fingers impatiently against the receiver. A strawberry blonde head arrived outside one of the kitchen windows while I waited.

"Taichou?"

"Yes, Matsumoto?" I asked gruffly. She was unaffected.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know." I sighed, shaking my head, sharing a serious look with my subordinate. "I just don't know."

Just at that moment the dialling tone stopped and I heard Eva's voice.

"Hello?"

OOO

Maybe you all saw something like this coming, maybe not. I wanted to make this longer but it seemed right to end it there. Hehe, cliffie, sort of anyway. I hope you enjoyed!


	5. Oscillation

Hi guys. Say thank you to ffn for not letting me upload this the last 20 times I tried during the last week! …Anyway, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own the little white-haired guy. Therefore, Bleach isn't mine either. Capriche?

OOO

"Hello."

I heard the reply, and I blinked. When I said 'call me', I didn't mean less than hour later. I quietly put a hand over my mouth so as to stop the response _A-Ah, it's you_, which would have sounded awful.

"How have you been?"

I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat. I didn't know why I was so nervous... Okay, I did. He might have decided that I was a threat and that he had to hunt me down and take care of me. That a good enough excuse for everyone? Good.

"Not bad. But I did spend the last hour wondering why you called me a _Taichou_."

I sighed, so he was going to act ignorant and make me incriminate myself? Fine.

"Because that's what you are. I know what that is, by the way."

"Interesting." I got a vision of him saying the same thing, the first time we properly met, before he got called on his phone... And I suddenly realised that that was probably a Hollow he needed to exterminate. How bizarre to properly relate the two very separate worlds. "What else would you happen to know?"

I looked around me, seeing Mum (I still call her that, even though she may actually not be my mother... or even a woman...) nowhere in sight, Leo sitting down on the sofa watching TV with Aaron, and I could hear the other two brothers upstairs playing something. Taking my drink with me, I left the kitchen, poking my head into the living room to tell them I would be gone a few minutes. I quickly left the house and sat down on the little stone wall in Leo's back garden. And then I prepared myself to resume my conversation.

"Everything. Seretei, the Gotei 13, the Winter War, 'heaven', the cycle of life, Rukongai, spirits, Zanpaktous and Hollows... everything."

I degraded myself into whispering halfway through. The phone in my hand was shaking slightly as I anxiously waited for him to say something. Anything. The silence lasted for a while, for far longer than I would have liked.

"How do you know this?"

I breathed a sigh.

"My... mother. Apparently I'm actually a Shinigami too, since that's what both my real parents are, or were. My family is fake, they're just guards pretending to be family... To make me think I was human. They would never have told me, but recently two of my guards went missing... I'll tell you more when I get back."

"But you don't know more than that?"

I frowned, nonplussed but then realisation came to me.

"Wait, you know something about why I left?... Had to leave? Why they disappeared?"

"...Do you know _why_ you had to pretend to be human?" He asked me in reply, seemingly cautious.

I stopped moving and slowly lowered my head, preparing for the worst.

"No."

"Your clan, a noble family, was hunted down and killed. You're a survivor. I don't know anything more, maybe the Captain Commander does... I don't know the reason you were hunted."

I paused, assimilated the parts that were new into my ever-growing store of information, and then decided that I should stop talking about such depressing things. But after one question.

"My name, do you know my real name?"

"...I only know your clan name. Arima."

"Arima." I rolled the word around my tongue. It sounded exotic, oriental... So different from plain old Eva. I suddenly felt like crying.

I hadn't had the best nor the easiest life, and at times I had wanted something different, to throw it away, but now it was being taken from me by force... Everything I had cherished as a part of this life was being robbed of me, and now all I wanted to do was cling onto it. I wanted my ignorance back. I wanted my family back. I wanted my hope, my aspirations for the future, the boy I loved... I wanted them all back. I wanted my Eva life. The life with me as Eva, not an afterlife as an Arima.

_I don't want this._

I swung my legs back and forth dejectedly as I held back from crying. I had had enough of that for one day. I turned as I heard my name being called, and I saw Mum right at the other end of the garden, standing in the doorway of the back door. I shouted back that I would be in in a minute and turned away.

"I'll call and tell you when I'm back home, 'kay?"

"...You won't need to call."

"Um, okay. Scary. Bye." I said, trying to joke to alleviate my grief.

"Bye." He replied shortly, and hung up. I sighed as I brought the phone down and looked at it. The looking soon turned into staring. I raised an incredulous raised eyebrow. The caller ID was telling me that Alex had called from my house phone... 'Alex'? I meant Tōshirō. _Well that's a long and hard name to pronounce_, I thought dryly. _I'm definitely going to have to learn Japanese, forget French! Plus, with my real name being Arima, I should really know already._

I blinked and smiled slightly as I wondered whether I would be able to rope Tōshirō into being my teacher. I had to learn somehow.

The grin disappeared as I pondered whether I actually did know and it was simply locked up. Did I even look like this, really? I should have straight black hair... _But look at Tōshirō__! __His is white and spiky! Hmm, I wonder if it's anything to do with his Zanpaktou... I'll probably find out if I look up what his name means._

...What does 'Arima' mean anyway?

Great, now I had a headache. I sighed and stood up and brushed the dirt off, placing my phone in my pocket carefully and heading back to the house.

_What was I hoping for anyway? I should have known that my entire life has been a lie, it's not like he would know anything..._

I arrived at the house and looked up at 'Mum'. She smiled kindly and brought a hand up to show me my favourite chocolate bar, Crunchie, along with some teacakes and several other items that are only available in special British stores in Spain. I smiled widely and snatched them out of her hand, practically skipping towards the living room. Settling down next to the person I was slowly starting to push further and further away... And who was holding less and less of my heart, I pretended that everything was alright, to both them and me.

OOO

I placed the phone onto the cradle and stared at it, thinking about all the things I still had to straighten out. And with Yamamoto too, I was only told to bring her back to protect her. Lock her up in a room protect her, or follow her around protect her, or do everything normally but let Matsumoto take care of Hollows so I wouldn't be miles away when she's attacked protect her? But there was no point worrying like an old woman right then, I would find out soon enough.

Matsumoto was still outside the window, leaning her elbows on it as she pouted. I was somewhat glad, somewhere deep deep down, that she had returned to her normal childish attitude.

"Mou, I didn't understand any of that!"

"Of course you didn't. You only know two languages, bad Japanese and awful Japanese, depending on how inebriated you are."

I let the left side of my mouth, hidden from her, quirk up. Without pausing I jumped back out the window and landed in mid-air, walking across onto the roof of my house. Jumping down, I landed next to a cat, finding them looking up at me. For a second I think it's... Midnight, but this one has different coloured eyes, and it can definitely see me.

"Yoruichi?"

I murmured, and the cat meows.

"Eh, Yoruichi! What are you doing here!"

Matsumoto arrived and picked the feline up, snuggling her against her chest, as she was wont to do with absolutely anything. I ignored them and turned around quickly, seeing the blue light on the bricks and knowing Yoruichi had transformed into her true form. I had no intention of sticking around to be embarrassed (I was once treated to the story of the three days when Kurosaki learned his bankai, and I was aware that I would have reacted similarly... without the shouting perhaps), so I headed into the house, arriving at my barely used room. I sat down on my bed and crossed my legs, settling down to wait, hopefully with some peace and quiet.

...Which proved impossible. Mainly because, one, Matsumoto plus any other female on this planet equalled disaster (except possibly that Kurosaki girl, I doubt she'd be caught dead in a face-pack), and two, because for some reason my mind was constantly being filled with questions. And they all revolve around one human, well, spirit... Shinigami... dead person. _Did she say she was in a gigai? Hmm, I wonder how she fits in, does it age? Maybe she moves around often, but she's been here for years...And she made it sound like she had only just found out, because of the disappearance. I think she would notice if they suddenly ripped her out of her supposed 'body' only to cram her into a new one. Does she really look like that? Does she know what she looks like? Does she even know..._

_Dammit._

OOO

I was so nervous, I could barely enjoy the flight home.

I had a hand on my leg as it bobbed up and down in a really annoying way, and I found myself rhythmically tapping my fingers against the armrest. I obsessively ate peanuts and looked out the window to distract myself. I even asked for one of those kid's things that you colour in and get really easy games on.

The air hostess smiled at me as she handed it over, I barely had time to smile back before she turned away, leaning down slightly and talking to a man asking for something. I examined it and found that it was actually quite funny, making the corners of my mouth turn up. It showed a plane full of kids, and this one brat was throwing up over the back of the seat, onto another's head. Opening the small packet of crayons, I found I only had primary colours, so I mixed yellow and blue to make green, and then I added a bit more blue. I ended up with a nice teal, or perhaps aquamarine, colour. My cheeks heated up and I scraped it off with a fingernail as I realised where I had gotten inspiration from.

So he was even affecting my masterful art skills now, was he?

_Masterful, _I snorted at myself quietly, looking around a little and biting my lip, both in amusement and embarrassment when I realised that I had done it out loud too,_ if I __try to draw I end up becoming a psychologist, making one of those blotchy ink thingies that are meant to show you something deep and meaningful... Freud would have appreciated my talent though!_

I looked up when I heard a little 'ding!' sound, and then the seatbelt sign turned red and I hurriedly took my stuff off my tray and folded it up, patting my pockets to make sure I had my phone, small wallet and keys. Soon enough I looked out of the window and saw the ground, or the lights anyway. Having always loved night-flights, I leant over even farther towards the window and looked out, remembering a conversation I had had with my sister about it.

_Are you gone too?_

My throat constricted and I gulped, my eyes stinging. Out of my peripheral vision I saw Mum's hand almost land on my lower thigh, but it paused in mid-air and then slowly retreated. I glanced at her, seeing her looking down and away. I sighed silently and returned to watching our descent. I felt the familiar nostalgia as my stomach jumped at our landing, and I smiled, standing up and turning once we had completely stopped. Mum stood holding my bag out to me, and I smiled at her thankfully, slinging it over my shoulder. We walked down the plane, held up a little by the usual faffing around other passengers were doing. At the end the woman who handed me the silly drawing smiled widely, I nodded and reciprocated.

As I walked onto the corridor connecting the plane to the terminal, my eyes heated up and stung again as I remembered times when I was younger. I would run with Cal, dodging around irritated adults and smiling parents in a race to the end. I turned my head when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Mum smiled tentatively, and I slung an arm around her waist. She grinned and placed hers around my shoulders, and we walked with exaggeratedly large steps, swinging our hips from side to side the whole way towards where we need to get our bags. Normally, I would never be so silly, I would have found myself embarrassed beyond belief, but this time I couldn't have cared less.

When we eventually broke apart to lift out bags, I was still grinning widely, but it soon faded. I sighed and it turned into a yawn. I scrunched up my nose and slung my bag over my shoulder again, lowering my hand to grab my suitcase.

I looked around as we walked through sliding doors, arriving at the main hall where loads of people were waiting for others to arrive. I glanced around half-heartedly and accepted tiredly that no-one was there for us. Even though there was first yellow and then red lines, marking where the waiters were allowed to wait, so as not to clog everything up, people still brushed past me. All of them were going almost to the doors themselves to hug someone and stay there, pretending to be completely oblivious to the irritated looks everyone else was sending them, especially those trying to get out.

When we got outside (finally), I stuck close to Mum as we trekked across the wide street of mostly taxi lanes towards where we had parked our car. It had only been few hours, but it felt like so much longer than that. So much had changed...

We found out the price of the parking and we sighed resignedly in unison. Mum shook her head and I rolled my eyes, slowly opening the car door, pretending not to notice that she was looking out of the corner of her right eye _again_. Paranoia must have really overtaken her, huh?

I finally sat down in the car, seeing Mum doing the same opposite me. As we talked idly I turned on the music and leant back, and for some reason I couldn't help but feel disappointment. But I didn't know why, I mean, I wasn't expecting anything or anticipating anything...

_Why was I hoping he would be there waiting for me?_

I sighed for the twentieth time that day and let my head fall back against the headrest. I would wallow in self-pity later; right now I wanted a nap.

OOO

I watched with narrowed eyes as the young girl and her mother, who was indeed as she said, the same height as her, crossed the wide street quickly. From my vantage point up high in the air, the same level as the top of the buildings, I scanned the area obsessively once more. Seeing no-one and noticing that my charge was now entering a multi-storey car park, I flash-stepped down to the just-used entrance, passing through the still moving doors easily. Glancing around, I spotted them to my left, and I watched guardedly as the dark-haired petite woman glances at me. Her mouth twists, but I was unsure if she was smiling or frowning.

I walked toward the... -_car_- slowly, watching the guard. I found myself hoping that they would understand that, for now at least, our interests were the same, but perhaps less important to me. This person had spent who knew how long being a mother (maybe because they really _were_, it wouldn't surprise me if they had gone into hiding, pretending to be a guard being her mother), whereas I had only just met the person in question.

My thoughts were proved true as another woman, looking exactly the same except for the Shinigami robes and clan plate on the belt around their waist, stepped calmly out of what was obviously their gigai. They talked to me in perfect Japanese, staring at Eva as she lethargically opened the car door.

"She cannot hear us, her gigai prevents it. I believe that if you had any harmful intentions, you would have acted upon them already." She turned towards me, and then disappeared through the metal of the car into the inside, after gesturing for me to follow her. After a moments hesitation, I obliged. We sat in the back together as she spoke.

"Let me guess, you're here on a mission about higher Hollow activity, and then you were ordered while we were gone that you had to bring her back and protect her." Music came on as Eva pressed a little button, filling the vehicle with unfamiliar sounds, although I sensed the style was earlier than the twenty-first century, probably late twentieth. The talking Shiniagmi didn't break her pace, acting as though nothing had changed and it was still silent. "I also assume that you know by now that we are the last survivors, the other family members were indeed acting guards. I, however, am her mother, but I encourage you not to reveal this information to anyone other than your Captain Commander, unless you are ordered otherwise." Eva leant her head back and seemed to relax and close her eyes.

I blinked as the woman stops talking, and realising how many time I had called her that in my mind, another question rose, predominant for some unknown reason.

"What are your real names?"

"I am Arima Michiyo, and Eva is... Arima Mitsuki."

I recognised the name at once. Arima Michiyo, the younger sister of the heir, had disappeared. Once her headstrong and infamously stubborn older sister had died, having been hunted down and butchered like an animal, along with her two twins and husband, Michiyo became the oldest sibling and Eva... Mitsuki, the heir. Michiyo's face softened now, her eyes tender as she gazed at her daughter. I imagined what it must have been like to never have been able to call her by her true name, or to speak your mother tongue, to constantly be on the run, to constantly be in foreign places, to know that you were the last and that everyone else was dead, to have to erase your daughters' memories and make her live perpetually trapped in a gigai. I felt like coughing and squirming, uncomfortable, looking at a scene which seemed private, almost indecent... Seeing the rumoured cold-hearted and stoic clan member actually seeming to be a caring and kind woman willing to go to any lengths for her family...

"How did they find you after all this time?"

She blinked rapidly a few times and turned towards me. Her eyes hardened once more as she frowned and her mouth twisted again.

"I don't know," She didn't seem to like admitting her ignorance, practically spitting out the words and glaring downwards at her folded hands. She looked up at me, and I suddenly understood where that reputation had come from. "But... I _am_ going to find out."

OOO

Hm, sort of a cliffie ending there. I had this almost finished, so close, just a few lines left, when my computer overheated and I lost it T_T. I ended up changing a few things because of it, but it's mainly the same.


	6. Romance, Much?

Hello there! How have you been? Here is the sixth chapter of My Days In High School Hell - but you already knew that. Or did you? It seems I mistook chapter 4 to be chapter 3 and repeated it, I'm so sorry to everyone who got confused! Thank you _raspberryripple _for pointing this out! Anyway, this is an extra-soon chapter as compensation. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: To be perfectly honest, I'd much rather this be real rather than merely an owned franchise... (Is that sad?)

OOO

Barely awake, I opened the car door and, after getting my suitcase, stumbled pathetically across the few steps of garage space, tripping up the steps to the bottom floor of my house, and then the ones to the top floor. (Due to the steep mountain we lived on, we lived in a bungalow, a front garden levelled for the front door, and a steep decline until our back garden, which levelled with the bottom floor. After the line of carefully looked after fruit trees, there was a fence, after which was a wild green forest on another steep decline, until it was stopped by the road. Which was, coincidentally, the one winding around the mountain we used to get to the house.) Arriving at the hallway, I looked at the kitchen and then at the living room. I sighed at the obvious emptiness, shivering. I turned the other way and practically crawled back to my room. I didn't bother checking the bedrooms; the house was stone cold. I got back into my room, turning to close the door, fumbling with the handle. I dropped my bag and coat on my chair and dumped my suitcase on the floor next to my wardrobe. I turned on the small heater temporarily here for the cold weather. I carefully lowered my blinds and turned on the light. Flopping down onto my bed, I sighed and folded my arms underneath my head, my mind already preparing to plunge me into unpleasant memories.

"You have chocolate - in your room - which you have not eaten yet. What is the world coming to?"

I would very much have liked to jump at the calm, sarcastic and amused voice emanating from the general area of my right, but I was too tired and I was also having a hard time quelling the blush and wide smile... which died down quickly enough when I considered how I wasn't acting normally anyway. I sat up, legs curled to the side, and smiled at him, but only a little so I didn't seem too enthusiastic.

A form was sitting on my desk, legs crossed, facing towards me. It had white hair and beautiful aquamarine eyes, and a smirk on its face that made me want to redden a bit more... Which I did. But I suddenly felt relieved and safe, and warm all over... especially my face. Especially when I considered how he was in my room.

Now I was definitely awake. Damn him...

"Hey," I yawned, covering my mouth, and then I eyed the Christmas calendar he was holding. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that."

He reached out an arm and handed it over. I scanned it and found that I had only eaten day one, while today was the sixth. I spotted day three and quickly ate it, munching thoughtfully as I scanned for more. I found day five and glanced up, thinking it would be rude to not offer anything to my guest (how did he get in here anyway?).

"Want one?"

He shrugged an affirmative.

"Oi! You should feel more appreciative, I'm giving you my _chocolate_."

He almost smiled, rolling his eyes. He stretched his arm again and took the little brown square from my hand, touching my palm with his fingers as he did so.

I pretended that that tiny little contact didn't affect me _at all _(definitely not) and went back to my search for more of the heavenly substance that was also said to relieve most women's craving for... stuff. Not that I had a craving or anything, I just loved chocolate. Especially milk chocolate, white made me want to throw up if I had to much, and dark was too bitter for my tastes most of the time. _I spend far too much time thinking about chocolate..._

I found days two and six in quick succession and ate them quickly, finding four and handing it over to Hitsugaya. I paused as I thought the name, it was easier to pronounce than Tōshirō, but still weird sounding and unfamiliar. I had a feeling that I would look like an idiot if I tried to say it out loud.

"Feel like teaching me Japanese?"

This time he was the one chewing thoughtfully, brow a little creased as he considered me.

"When do you start your holidays?"

"Um... I know that the Saturday is the twentieth..."

He blinked and then actually smiled. It would have made me stare and probably do something embarrassing usually, but this one was a little sad and not a little wistful and homesick.

"My birthday."

I blinked and then his words and expression penetrated my brain and clicked into place.

"Really? What do you usually do?"

He shrugged, placing a knee on his elbow and his hand almost completely over his mouth as he rested his head on his palm.

"Matsumoto hosts a party, invites loads of people I hardly know, gets awfully drunk, possibly throws up, and I have to clear it up the next day." His muffled voice said, and it's much happier than mine would be if I was describing a birthday like that. "But she does do her paperwork. And I get presents, even if I don't always like them; Matsumoto's are always terribly crude."

I had felt a little uneasy as the foreign name left his mouth, but by the end I had raised an eyebrow.

"Such as?"

He glanced at me, a little hesitant. It just made me more curious. The Hitsugaya Tōshirō, embarrassed? My other eyebrow raised as I concluded that he _must_ be embarrassed about it, a _lot_, if even he didn't want to tell. I smirked as another thought stated that it must be really awful.

He sighed and shook his head, eyes suddenly humorous.

"She went through a period where she believed I was gay, so she got me a bondage kit."

My mouth dropped open, and then I started laughing hysterically.

"W-Wow, I bet you _really _regret opening that in front of everyone."

"Actually, I enjoyed it when I gave it to Kuchiki, saying he probably already has one but he needs it more than I do regardless." He blinked and looked at me, contemplating. "I take it you know who he is?"

"Head of one of the 'Four' Noble Families, and a captain. The division number escapes me."

"When you meet him you'll understand." He tilted his head. "How much exactly do you know about Soul Society?"

I paused a little as his obvious expectations of me meeting Kuchiki, and therefore going to Seretei, sunk in. I put it to one side and decided to ask him later.

"It's what we would call 'heaven', there's Rukongai with Seretei in the middle, where Shingami live, you recycle souls, the captains and lieutenants names, a little history, like the Winter War and such. But I don't really know anything more than that, like where it actually is, or how you live, or your currency or anything economical or political."

"Even so, it's far more than you should."

I looked down, my throat constricting.

"Yeah. If only... we hadn't been attacked, then... then Dad and Cal would still be here and...nothing would be wrong and... And I wouldn't know anything." I finished lamely, trying my very best not to cry. I still buried my head in my hands, fingers spreading and messing up my hair.

I almost, almost, flinched when suddenly there was a presence beside me, sitting on my bed, legs crossed once more while he stared down at his hands with what seemed to be a guilty expression.

"That's not actually true," He sighed, looking up, "If your clan had never been hunted in the first place, you would never have left Seretei, so you would know everything anyway."

"I guess."

I replied glumly, but cheering up when, after having stared at me in contemplation for a few seconds he pulled me to sit next to him, close enough to feel his leg against mine. He put a hesitant arm around my shoulders, making my face heat up, a smile form and little tingles to ricochet through my body, making me want to shiver. I forced the blush back down as best I could and toned down the smile. It was just a friendly gesture born from guilt, it most definitely meant nothing.

(_Although I..._)

I peeked up at him, seeing him staring straight ahead with a thin line for a mouth. He must be feeling _quite_ uncomfortable. I twisted my mouth so as not to smile, still accidentally letting out a guffaw, making him look at me. I tried to hide how I was reacting to his discomfort with a sort of relief...

_...He's so close. So, _so_, close. His eyes are so nice... I can't even remember... what was I finding funny? ...Is there something on my face? Why does he look like... he's doing a mental maths problem? Wha..._

And then he suddenly kissed me, and for a split-second I thought _I'm glad that I closed the door_. Then all coherent thought flew out of the window, because his lips were so surprisingly soft and he smelled mouth-wateringly good and his hand was on my waist and he had closed his eyes and I had opened my mouth and when did I put my hands in his hair and now his thumb was stroking my side and he tasted like chocolate and wasn't this my actual first proper kiss?

The thought abruptly died as I recalled a certain blond boy who had held my heart in his hand for over a year. I pulled back a little and, grabbing onto him for support, I gasped for air, staring at him with a flushed face.

Never, ever, would I have thought that he'd make the first move. I never even thought hopefully that he might be interested in me. _(But I never expected Aaron to do that either... What is it with boys recently?)_

He staring at me, his eyes wide as if he hadn't yet understood what had just happened, and my breath caught. What if he regretted it or it was just spur-of-the-moment and he didn't actually like me and just did it to make me feel better? ...Oh _no_, that meant he had always known I had liked him And then he blinked and took in a huge breath. I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut so as to block out the apologetic speech he was surely about to make. My hands loosened, letting go of his arms.

There was silence, and then he said slowly, scrutinising me carefully,

"I was going to - say something - about acting like that never happened, but as it is..." He pursed his lips and eyed me, "Am I correct in thinking you wouldn't attack me for doing it again?"

I laughed shakily (so so relived and happy and half disbelieving and so relieved because at least this kiss won't be the last and my mind obviously hadn't recovered), still breathing heavily.

"No... in all honesty, y-you..." I paused and blushed furiously, glancing away so as not to meet his curious-slowly-turning-mischievous gaze, gulping, "you can kiss me as much as you like." I finished in a rush, saying to myself that I really was brave, and that that was the closest he was going to get to a confession. My heart fluttered at his lopsided smirk.

He leant down again, covering the small space slowly, making me shiver with anticipation and excitement, "How interesting... I never would have guessed."

"Then you're an idiot," I laughed, breathless, before smiling and kissing him, my hands moving from his arms to his back and going down to slip under his dark shirt (I was incapable of remembering the exact colour at the moment), feeling his skin and tracing my fingers up his spine a little (and feeling _him_ shiver now with great smugness) before they went to just below his shoulder blades. His hand that had stayed near my hip had moved up, his hand now tentatively touching my side again, then mimicking me and going under my jumper and shirt, moving up and down on my side slowly, stretching his thumb out again to trail it softly across my front. And now his other hand was on _my_ back and it had moved down to rest on the back of my hip.

I pushed away the reason I was being so hasty and rushed... How I simply wanted to forget the only other boy I had kissed and the circumstances in which we had parted, how blurry and mixed up my feelings for them both had become, but how it no longer truly mattered because I was only going to see one of them for the rest of my life... I lost myself in the moment of being close to someone I _would_ manage to cling onto with all my strength, someone I didn't have to let go and wouldn't have to worry about suddenly being shoved away from me...

And I tried to subdue my utter guilt and shame and how I felt like I had been disloyal to my first love.

And how I tried to force down the battle between the two as my mind tried to pick which one I would rather never have met.

OOO

Some time later, thoroughly exhausted in every way possible, I collapsed backwards onto my bed, breathing heavily. I stared up at the ceiling and moved a little away from the cold bed frame to my left. I decided to pretend that all was peachy and that I was only tired physically.

But, honestly, I didn't know mere kisses could tire someone out so much.

But then again, Tōshirō's kisses weren't 'mere' kisses, and it had been... I lifted my arm and stare at the time. It was nearly one in the morning (I got back at midnight...)! And it was Thursday, I had school tomorrow! Well... I guessed I could tell Mum I didn't feel up to it and take the day off. The idea was _very_ appealing, I admitted. And who wouldn't let me have the day off? I mean, come on...

"Bloody hell," I muttered, glancing down at his smirking form. I passed my hand over my mouth. "It's really late."

He shrugged slightly (_Gee, thanks for your concern_) before lying down next to me in the middle of the bed, arms crossed behind his head. After a momentary hesitation, I turned towards him with great effort and slung my arms around him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Tōshirō..." I murmured quietly, and he looked down at me, and through my half-closed eyelids I just about saw his little smile.

"That's the first time you've said my name... Mitsuki."

My eyes opened fully and I stared up at him. He just nodded and a corner of his mouth lifted a little. I chuckled tiredly, feeling my eyelids close.

"Is it... possible for you to stay here?"

He paused, thoughtful again.

"Only if your mother doesn't chase me away with a broom."

I chuckled with a little more fervour, and then I had a question on my lips, namely 'Is she my real mother then?', but I fell asleep before I could force out the first syllable.

OOO

True to my word, I didn't leave. I wouldn't want to in the first place.

Even though I did feel like running away and covering my face, at about three o'clock in the morning. Michiyo had poked her head into the room, and smiled at the undoubtedly _adorable_ picture we made.

"So you _are_ on our side." She had said quietly, and I did my best to ignore the very subtle threat she had hidden in her words. Unfortunately, Mitsuki had mumbled in her sleep at the disturbance of the silence and had half crawled onto me, arms latching themselves around me with more force and face pressing into my neck... She even hitched up a leg to hook around one of mine.

Michiyo had sighed at that, like Mitsuki was a puppy or toddler, and her the tired parent who was trying to tell her _no matter how many times you flip the switch, honey, the light will turn on and off in just the same way._

"I'll be going now."

Turning, she had closed the door after her, leaving a lingering smell of sweet, but not overbearingly so, perfume. My mind had told me it was motherly, slightly musky and the sort of scent you might remember from a time you had run into your mother's arms after kindergarten.

I had remembered what she had said to me, when we had arrived at her house.

_Mitsuki ignores her mother's gigai completely as she opens the car door, slamming it and getting her suitcase, slamming the boot closed too. She heads off towards the house, still dutifully ignoring the other person in the car. Michiyo, the real one, smiles with some amusement._

_I frown, Mitsuki was obviously annoyed or maybe upset._

_"What's wrong with her?"_

_I ask, glancing sideways._

_"She's very angry."_

_"With who?" I ask again, confused._

_"Herself." Michiyo replies absent-mindedly. She seems to shake herself and turns towards me. "One of the reasons for which is that she thinks that you weren't waiting for her."_

_She doesn't need to say anything more. Michiyo knows this and smiles one last time before stepping into her gigai, making it get out of the car, collect her luggage and walk towards the garage, pulling down the metal door as she does so. I shuunpo into my house and grab my dozing gigai, shuunpo-ing towards Mitsuki's room window. I arrive just in time to see Mitsuki collapse onto her bed face-down. I step through the window and quietly slip into my gigai._

_I start talking, acting as though nothing is wrong, but my mind is going over its new information, having worked out exactly what Michiyo had been trying to tell me. And wishing I didn't feel the excitement welling up in my throat._

Once the person in question had been well and truly gone, in her own bedroom with the door shut and the light off, I had let myself shift uncomfortably and show my distaste. Then, feeling Mitsuki shiver, I contemplated pulling the covers over her. Deciding I shouldn't because I would have to lift Mitsuki to do it, I sighed and turned towards her, unfolding my arms to place them around her.

She seemed to recognise me even in her sleep. Pulling herself closer, she inhales and smiled unconsciously. Making a content sound, something along the lines of 'Mmmm...mm', she tangled her legs with mine again. She pushed herself against me, this time unconscious, and I tried to banish the thought of teasing her when she woke up. She would probably be mortified as it was.

Quite a bit later, I found myself, unsurprisingly, still on my side holding Mitsuki. I suddenly thought that we didn't really discuss what we were supposed to that much, just a brief summary, and then... then I kissed her, and everything else was somehow forgotten. I really didn't know whether to regret my decision or not. I wouldn't be able to act like it never happened, and I didn't want to anyway, I could tell it would hurt her. We had to be friends at least from the very moment Yamamoto ordered me to protect her and I didn't think she would be comfortable with a stranger following her around. And I know why I kissed her... As much as it pained me to admit it, I was pretty sure I liked her, and she obviously liked me, but that didn't mean that there wouldn't be numerous problems... In fact, I had probably made the whole situation a whole lot more complicated. It was illegal, in fact...

Okay, it wasn't. She was technically a Shinigami, so the only problems would be those of her being chased by a guy with a vendetta. _...Nice one, Tōshirō... And you kissed her before you even worked that out._

I shifted uneasily as I contemplated how deep my feelings might actually be. This was, to be frank, the last thing we needed, as it would only be adding another number to the equation.

And yet here I still was.

OOO

Matsumoto giggled exuberantly from her place atop Mitsuki's desk. Covering her hand with her mouth, she thought that she really shouldn't have spied but it wasn't like she would tell anyone... much. Yoruichi probably already knew... And Matsumoto was sure that she herself would spill when she next got drunk, which would be soon, and preferably during her captain's party, when there would be loads of people. Honestly, how dare Hitsugaya try to keep a secret from her!

Well... She doubted they were going out or that anything had happened before this, they probably kissed for the first time tonight.

_Taichou must be good at 'this ridiculous kissing lark',_ Said woman mused, s_he only stopped because she was dead on her feet... She must be good too, actually. I wonder..._

She grinned mischievously, unaware of the fact that someone was watching her every move.

"Don't."

A gravelly voice warned her. Matsumoto blinked several times in confusion.

"Eh? Don't what, Yoruichi?"

She turned around to stare in wide-eyed innocence at the black cat sitting on the windowsill, tail flicking around her like a whip. Yoruichi wasn't fooled and narrowed her eyes. She knew when things were being taken too far. She just shook her furry head and leapt forward, moving as a blur and going further than a normal cat would, landing next to the sleeping couple. Placing a paw on the young girl's side, she lowered her head a little. Her voice was low, becoming even rougher.

"I do not know if you have been told, but they were found and put in danger by an inside source. This is a very serious matter. They could use one of them to draw out the other. We must not reveal this," Her head turned towards the lieutenant and her golden eyes fixed on a now serious face, "at _any_ cost. We do not know who to trust. We do not know why she is targeted, of if she is truly their objective."

It took her a moment to digest, but the 10th Division Lieutenant was far from slow or stupid.

"Not even Yamamoto?"

Matsumoto inquired quietly, voice soft and sounding like a sigh.

The cat's tail paused, and then resumed its back and forth movement.

"Him we can. Whoever they are, and I suspect Yamamoto knows who, they sent Hollows, and I can't imagine the Captain Commander doing such."

Matsumoto laughed quietly, pulling a brown sake bottle from her robes.

"You're right there. When it comes to Hollows, he kills first and never asks questions."

The cat didn't respond, seemingly too busy examining the girl's body. Patting it with her paw, she flexed her claws and tried to take a swipe. She placed her paw it on the bed. It had been deflected, like her reach had been too short or the body too far away. It was a subtle defence mechanism, and Yoruichi knew it would only activate when the gigai was being attacked. She also knew this would only happen if the attacker in question was a spirit of some sort: a Hollow, Shinigami or a soul.

"Kisuke made this."

She stated quietly, and then she turned her head towards Matsumoto again.

"I'm going to visit him."

She stood up and jumped onto the desk, then towards the window, landing on the sill. She turned her head to eye the room's occupants before disappearing.

Matsumoto didn't move as the induced gust of wind ruffled her hair.

"What have we got into?" She wondered in a whisper. Whoever they were up against, they were strong. Strong enough to have had a veritable army of Hollows, enough power to take down a Noble Family, and cunning enough to evade capture for more than a century...

But if this girl mattered to her Taichou, she was already family. She would follow her captain anywhere, and follow his orders without question.

Unless, of course, it concerned paperwork.

She slipped off the desk, taking a swig of sake and staring at the two entangled forms. Then she smiled. She laughed and turned, her scarf trailing behind her dramatically. She too disappeared, leaving the two supposed adolescents to their sleep.

The boy muttered a low curse, opening his eyes, trying to consider from all angles the grim picture that had just been painted for him. Staring vacantly at the wall opposite, his thoughts wandered.

_An inside source... Another Winter War. _He tensed, eyes flashing dangerously as he remembered the losses they had sustained, both personally and as a community. He wanted nothing more than for such a battle to never happen again.

_Another Aizen._

He breathed deeply, trying to quell his anger before the temperature lowered, and then sighed and shifted, causing Mitsuki to tighten her arms again, nearly choking him. He felt his temper fraying but forced himself to relax.

_Clingy, females, aren't they?_

The slow drawl sounded amused and hopeful. The boy's mouth softened at Hyōrinmaru's attempt at humour, finally smiling.

_This is why I avoided their species._

_Liar_, he was told casually, but he was well aware of how his sword was teasing him.

_Maybe only a little, _he mused back, _and maybe I can't tell that you wouldn't complain either._

He heard a slightly indignant huff before Hyōrinmaru retreated to rest. He knew he should do the same, but that sleep wouldn't be easy in coming. He did manage it eventually, wondering how he ended up in Spain tangled up in this girl and her abnormality._ What a pain..._

OOO

Erhm, maybe some of you are feeling some not-too-good feelings about having a kiss in the sixth chapter, but it's not a confession of true undying love, I hope I got across that neither of them are quite at that point.

But still, I'm seriously contemplating changing it completely and erasing the kiss. What do you think?

This was a little longer than usual, forgive me again for my mistake, and I hope you enjoyed, ja nee!


	7. Too Much Discussion

Hello! Thanks for the positive responses about the kiss, and here I was thinking I'd be flamed! x3 Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I... -wiggles eyebrows suggestively- don't own -grins-.

OOO

I loved December. If it hadn't already been my favourite month (and winter my favourite season), it would be now.

My morning, I must admit, was starting off quite nicely. Alex was still here, meaning that a good mood was guaranteed. I should have probably been very embarrassed about the way that I had wound myself around him while I was asleep. Hopefully he wasn't awake...

I listened to the silence for a second, knowing something was wrong.

Oh. Of course, the silence.

No sounds of water running for Mum's shower, no little brother stumbling about in his room in the dark as he tried to get his trousers on when they were inside-out _and_ backwards, no really loud and irritating snoring from a still asleep Dad... I sighed and closed my eyes. Then I opened them again and looked at Alex weirdly. I blinked, thankful for the distraction, which was a question that had just struck me, and I looked up at Alex's face. He was sleeping peacefully, features smooth, lacking a scowl, frown or some other serious expression.

_I thought everyone snores... Why don't you snore?_

The mere thought of asking him that made me break out into a smile and a few chuckles, which I tried to muffle unsuccessfully with a hand (the other was refusing to move from its position atop a torso). He shifted, moving around and opening his eyes. It was as I saw the unique turquoise slash teal slash aquamarine eyes that I realised. I had been calling him 'Alex', when his name was... uh, wasn't it last name first? So he's Tosh... Tōshirō. I licked my lips and frowned in concentration.

"Ohaiyo gozaimasu, Tōshirō."

I paused and then smiled triumphantly. I hardly knew if I would really need to speak Japanese or even when, but I had thought it best to look up some things on the Internet, simple things like 'hello' and 'good morning', 'what' and 'how are you'... The basics. Even online translators couldn't mess that up, right?

"Ohaiyo."

His voice was very different speaking Japanese, a bit... husky (I was going to drool, I could see it happening). But my voice also changed when I spoke Spanish (higher, not huskier, I actually have quite a deep voice... but luckily I don't sound like a man).

"Tōshirō... I meant to ask earlier... what exactly do you think is going to happen?"

He suddenly focused his gaze on me with an almost unnerving intensity.

"Do you really want to know?" I hesitated and then nodded. "Tell me your theories first."

I bit my lip. "Well, I can only think of us either carrying on running... or giving up and going to Soul Society."

He sighed. "Those _are_ the only two main options... But the real question is: will you remember this?"

I stared at him. It was a pretty brutal thought, that I would have my memories torn from me, and also that I would have no say in the matter... "Has this happened before?" I asked him. The possible answers terrified me, but I simply had to know what lengths had so far been taken.

"Mitsuki... You're older than I am," He shook his head regretfully. "There's no way that it hasn't happened." He told me, and the gentleness of his tone was the thing that really made it sink in.

"How old exactly?" I asked, breathless. The thought was so alien... I had always been so aware of my naïvety, I had always known that, chances were, I barely had an idea as to what I was talking about.

"I'm over a century old, Mitsuki. But your clan, for all intents and purposes, vanished... about three centuries ago."

His words struck me like a physical blow. Three _centuries_ old... Suddenly this life of mine seemed unimportant, everyone I held dear to me, was simply one of many that I had known over the centuries... These people, these relationships that I had immediately wanted to save, in the long run... Meant little to me. I had had many others.

_Three _hundred_ years..._

Why had my memories been taken from me? To make it easier, to keep me in ignorance? Was that why it was necessary, because I had wanted to fight or wanted to stay?

...Why had we had to leave Seretei? Was this threat from the inside?

_Three hundred years._

Had something gone wrong? Was I in a gigai... Did I lose my memories with a new gigai? Was I the only one who had suffered this? How long were they planning to keep on doing this?

...Were they going to do it again?

My thoughts had never been so chaotic. Never before had so many questions attacked me... Never before had they been so important, so pertinent to my life, never had everything I had ever known been so completely uprooted and disregarded.

"So..." I gasped slightly as I heard those words again. _Three hundred years..._ Then I pulled to the forefront of my mind the possible theories, now including this new possibility. "So, I could carry on with this life, with this period erased... But they know where we are, right?" I didn't bother glancing up; I felt him nod. "So... I might start a new life... Maybe with just this part erased, we might just move again... Or it might be a new life and I might have no memories..." I sucked in a deep breath. "Oh. Oh God... Oh _no_." I gasped for breath as the reality crashed down upon me. "Mum... She told me – she told me that – that I would never see him again, that I would never set foot in the UK again..."

And that was when the tears came. That was when I cried so hard I shouldn't have been trying to talk... But I wanted to get it all out, to make sure I wasn't making this worse in my confused head, and that he agreed... even if my voice was being pushed to an uncomfortable pitch as I tried to force the words out, even if I did sound like someone was strangling me.

"So that means... That either I'll g-go back with no memories of him... Or I'll be g-going to Seretei... Because if I stayed here, w-with my mem-memories, eventually, I would g-go back... to the UK..."

_Those are your only choices... Pick one now, and you might have a say in what happens, _A voice in my head was telling me. I started shaking my head violently. _No! Neither! I want it back! I want real choices! I want my life back!_

_I just want things to go back to the way they were before..._

I realised that I had said it out loud once Tōshirō reacted. He had been sort of fluttering his hands over me, wondering what to do to comfort me. But now they stilled and I could sense his regret. I wanted to tell him that I didn't mean that I wished I hadn't met him, he was all I had now, after all, but I didn't have time before he properly placed his arms around me and let my head rest next to his neck as I tried to calm the shuddering convulsions running up and down my back.

"I'm sorry." He told me as he held me tighter, as if to protect me from the harsh world and everyone in it who wanted to cause me harm... or maybe just anyone who didn't have my best interests at heart.

Some time later, I eventually stopped feeling like I might burst into tears all over again and simply felt a bone-deep exhaustion creep over me. I wanted to sleep, sleep for so long that once I woke all my fears and troubles would be gone, mere leaves blown away by the wind further backwards down a path that I had carried on walking down during my unconsciousness.

I wanted things to be sorted out for me. Was it my responsibility now, to make sense out of this mess, to try and salvage something?

I had never really had that much power or control. To be given so much, so suddenly, was a terrifying prospect.

"So," I mumbled, voice a little rough, "What is going to happen today?"

He didn't answer for a minute. "Well, I definitely need to speak with your mother, and she needs to speak with Yamamoto. You might also need to speak with him, but I doubt it."

"There's a question that's been bugging me, Tōshirō... Were you the one that told Mum that they had found us?"

I frowned. "No... But Yamamoto seemed aware of the whole situation before I was. Perhaps it was him?"

"Hmm... I think that they're going to make executive decisions without me," I confessed in a low murmur.

He sighed in agreement. "Yes, they very well might."

I loosened my grip on him and sat up, pushing my hair out of my face and running my hands through it, hoping it looked somewhat acceptable. I looked out of my window forlornly and sighed. Then I looked down at the boy leaning on his elbows regarding me with an inscrutable expression.

"I hope your meeting with your commander goes well," I mumbled, and then hesitated as I tried to word a favour I wanted to ask of him. "And, please, tell me anything you think I need to know." Yes, that sounded right. He might be able to do that.

He tilted his head and then nodded slightly, before sitting up, and, before I could react, tucking a still-errant piece of hair behind my ear. He leant forward and pressed a kiss onto my forehead before shifting off my bed and leaving me with a faint smell of him on my pillow.

I let myself fall backwards. I stared up at my ceiling, complete with glow-in-the-dark stars, and wondered how many bedrooms I had had. I wondered if I had grown old many times, fallen in love countless times, met thousands of people and held hundreds of them close to my heart. I wondered if, given the choice, I would have these memories back, or if it couldn't be done.

_Would I? How many people would have died... How many people would I suddenly miss? Would it be worth it? Would I gain irreplaceable memories, or be overwhelmed by all that I had lost?_

I didn't cry then. And I didn't feel like an old soul in a young body... I felt like a young innocent who had been forced to grow up too soon.

OOO

My mother was in the kitchen, making us some sandwiches.

The familiar sight that had greeted my eyes once I had emerged some time later from my room made me wish that people would stop shoving things in my face that would remind me of what I'd had before everything had changed. My life was dangling on a string while I sat and watched, powerless, and saw flashbacks of my old life on the opposite wall.

I leaned against the doorway.

"Who are you?" I asked, and I didn't bother trying to word it better. I no longer cared if I caused her a bit of hurt. I was too tired and she had done too much.

"Your mother, dear." She replied after glancing at me. She handed me my plate before sitting down at the kitchen table.

"And was Esther my sister?"

She looked at me as she chewed. I was also tired of people looking at me wondering how much they could trust me with. I simply wanted to know, it couldn't be worse than what I had already discovered.

"No," She shook her head. "Not in the way you mean."

I appreciated how she wasn't belittling my relationship with her, but I had one more question to ask, which was in fact more crucial.

"Is she gone?"

Mum looked down, but she was too late; I had already seen a glimpse of the guilt and grief in her eyes. She nodded.

"Yes, she's gone."

I closed my eyes and rested my weight against the doorway, leaning my head back. I used all of my willpower to put this aside for later. I would grieve later... I had already shed too many tears this morning. My thoughts moving slowly as they overcame this blockade, I eventually found the other things I had wanted to discuss with Mum. I paused and decided that my interrogation about my previous lives would also have to wait. I would ask about the easiest thing right now.

"Have you spoken with Yamamoto?" I was proud that my voice didn't falter or waver, I didn't even stumble over the name.

"No. It's my turn after Hitsugaya's."

I had a very strange irrational moment of jealousy when she said his real name. It was like she had violated my privacy... Tōshirō was mine, to her, he was just Alex. A nobody. I forced my lips to straighten out of their twist and started eating my sandwich, wandering back to my room without glancing to my right, through the glass in the front room doors.

I couldn't go into the empty living room. Not yet, not now.

OOO

I had finished my sandwich and had started on my work. What that meant was, I had sat down at my desk with my things spread out neatly in front of me as I tried to concentrate and ended up staring out of my window. I wondered detachedly if I was even safe here... We left like we were being chased by the Devil, and yet here we were, back, as if nothing had happened. I smiled lopsidedly as I realised that Tōshirō was my protection.

I tapped my fingers against my desk, the rhythm increasing as debated what was happening in the house next door. They stilled as I heard someone open my bedroom door. Tōshirō appeared and leant back against my desk next to me, arms crossed.

"I have some good news." He told me, voice calm.

"Oh?" I said, looking at his side.

"You won't have to talk."

I let out a breath of relief. "Well, thank god for that! Because I don't speak Japanese, nor do I know about your customs or anything."

Tōshirō's mouth curled up slightly. "But watching you make a fool of yourself might have been amusing."

"Cheeky. Careful," I replied, poking him in the side.

"Would you?"

"Have made a tit of myself? Most definitely. I've never been good at staying calm. I always go tomato red and speak about... say, three times faster than I normally would." I confided as I turned my chair around slowly, watching the variation in colours. I stopped when I caught a sly smirk. I scowled at him. "Yes, yes, it's very funny, har har _har_."

He chuckled at that and patted me on the head. My mouth dropped open.

"Just because I'm short doesn't mean you can treat me like a child!" I informed him heatedly as I stood and glared up at him.

"Don't worry," He said, voice way too full of mirth, "I used to be short."

"Really?" I paused, scanning him, before returning to his eyes. "I can't imagine you short."

"I was shorter than you are now." He told me, and I laughed.

"I always feel sorry for guys that are short, except when they're the type to overcompensate by being a penis."

Tōshirō's eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

"Uh... A twit. They try to overcompensate by being an arrogant twit." I told him, trying not to go red.

"Oh, I know what you meant. I'm just not used to such unladylike words."

I laughed. "There are many words worse than that, my dearest prude."

I didn't stop laughing as he pulled me closer and settled his arms around my waist. He watched me with amused eyes as my laughter eventually died down. I looked back at him. "Anything else I should know?" I asked him lowly.

I was well aware that I had most likely just postponed or avoided completely another kiss... But I wasn't sure if I would be able to take any more guilt... My feelings had been the part that I'd left for last and it was coming back to bite me now, but I was determined to eschew anything that I might regret later.

Tōshirō sighed and rolled his head around, cricking his neck.

"Not really. We didn't speak much of you personally, and anything that might interest you your mother will tell you." He explained.

"I hope so. But you'll be sneaky and help me out if there's anything I don't get, right?"

He smiled down at me a little and as he nodded I felt reassured that I would at least be able to rely on him. I wondered if my faith was well-placed, but what was done was done.

I knew I shouldn't have let my gratitude cloud my thoughts, because three seconds later I found myself kissing him.

_Oh, for God's sake..._

But I didn't pull away, and I wondered if Tōshirō was even allowed to do this. Did Yamamoto know? But now that it had been started, I didn't want to be the one to stop it.

And he _was_ a good kisser...

A knock on my door interrupted us. I frowned sorrowfully at him and left him at my desk as I journeyed to my door and pulled it open. It was Mum, and I was glad that she hadn't just walked in; I wasn't sure if I was willing to reveal this relationship yet. _Not after what you did to the last one..._

I blinked at her until I realised that the very angry face she was making wasn't my imagination. The she took in a deep breath and made another face that told me to prepare myself.

"He wants me to go and talk to him in person." Her mouth twisted for a second before she straightened it out, but she couldn't do anything about the look in her eyes. "Some bollocks about not trusting the means of communication."

"Okay," I said slowly. "How long will you be gone?"

"Who knows how long they will hold me up? A few days, perhaps."

"Will I be safe?" I asked her seriously. She nodded and I heard Tōshirō's reply from the other end of my room.

"Yes. Apart from me, there will be at least one other Shinigami."

I frowned. "I know my gigai keeps me ignorant, but can't I see Shinigami?"

"No. It was tailored and modified to provide you with means of protection, to limit your abilities and to completely erase anything that might inform you about anything supernatural."

"I have abilities?" I asked, impressed with myself. (I knew about the fire thing, but was that an ability? More a dangerous hazard, if you ask me. Ability might mean I could walk on water or fly or something cool. Not burn down buildings. With me inside.) Mum looked darkly amused for a second and then she pulled me forward for a hug and whispered in my ear: "Be careful, my daughter."

"Love you." I told her as she left. She smiled and replied:

"I'll be leaving my gigai here, and love you too."

I cocked my head and then turned to Tōshirō. "An empty gigai? What, will she look dead?" Seeing a döppelganger of my mother that was dead? No thanks.

He shook his head and told me that it would be controlled by a modified soul that would behave similarly (but leave me alone pretty much), and that also might have a power that could provide some more means of protection.

"So," I said. "I guess this means that I won't be going to school."

"I'm not so sure about that," He told me, clearly feeling mischievous. "I might still be going."

I raised an eyebrow. "And you plan and getting me there how? Walking down there would take me well over an hour." I told him crisply as I walked towards him.

"Ah, you have my evil plans foiled." He agreed, putting on a very convincing regretful voice.

"I'm smarter than you, you know."

He raised a silver eyebrow right back. "Your proof being?"

I sniffed condescendingly as I wrapped my arms around his middle and rested my head on his chest.

"I don't need proof."

"Your audacity astounds me." He said as his chest shook slightly with laughter.

I smiled into him. It had been too long since I had talked to someone with this much ease and familiarity. I pouted somewhat childishly as he pulled away and told me that he had to go and speak with Yamamoto.

"Oh?" I asked, eyes narrowing. "Why?"

"Because, I want you to be safe." He told me slowly as he ran a hand through his hair and looked uncomfortable. I smiled and gave him a peck on the lips before stepping away and sitting down on my bed. He left after having told me very seriously to not leave the house. I had rolled my eyes and eyed my bookcase opposite me, telling him that I would keep myself occupied. And that it was cold outside anyway.

I would probably have offended him if I'd told him that I wanted some time alone. Or perhaps not... I frowned.

_I don't actually know you that well, do I?_

OOO

This is the last rewritten chapter, and you may have noticed that this is where there is the most deviance. I completely erased all of the original chapter after the first page and only a few of the happenings are the same. Tell me what you think! After this chapter, it will be all-new goodness! Until then!


	8. Too Much Discussion II

I bet you guys never expected to see this, eh? Well, here it is, the brand new chapter! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Guys, please! I know I manage to keep everything amazingly IC and all, but, honestly, you go too far!

OOO

You could say I was worried. Worried enough to lie to Mitsuki and worried enough to demand that Yamamoto come back and explain his actions. I would have been stressed as it was considering what Michiyo had told me after my last (and her first) conversation with Yamamoto. She had wanted to divulge some information before she was forbidden from revealing it.

"_Yamamoto didn't know that I had survived. He thought that I was also a guard. Now he may decide that Mitsuki's survival is not so necessary."_

I had always known that Yamamoto had some rather questionable scruples, but this had chilled me. Now, not only was Michiyo leaving for Seretei, with Matsumoto as her guard, but no new information about this homicidal Shinigami had come forward.

The whole situation was rather unsettling. Nobody seemed to know anything, I had been left by myself to protect Mitsuki, and apparently Michiyo was the one Yamamoto wanted to save. If I didn't have the utmost belief that Yamamoto would never collaborate with a Hollow manipulator, I would suspect him of setting us up for a fall.

As it was, I was going to ask for back-up and try to find out why he held Mitsuki in such little regard. I had no answers at this point, I couldn't figure out the possible reasons or causes of this behaviour, seeing as Mitsuki's father was gone. There was little to no hope of Michiyo having more children and thus continuing the clan, whereas Mitsuki was young... Or the closest she would ever come to it. Perhaps perpetuating the clan wasn't their concern any more? Maybe Michiyo was going to be saved because of her possible services to the Gotei Thirteen, but she herself was worried about her daughter...

It had to be that my commander had misinterpreted the situation. Maybe he thought that Miyako no longer cared overmuch for her daughter's fate, and had saved whom he thought was a possible ally.

At that point, the screen flickered on and I raised my gaze.

"What is the reason for this meeting, Jyuubantai-Taichou?" He asked, voice as gravelly as always.

"I have some concerns Genryuusai-sama." I told him calmly, as though my thoughts weren't still spinning and I was still mainly ignorant.

When he stayed silent, I elaborated. "About the heir, Arima Mitsuki. I am not entirely convinced that I am enough man-power to successfully prevent or withstand an attack."

I watched as Yamamoto's eyes scanned my face. I had never been too arrogant to admit my shortcomings, and it wasn't completely odd for me to also admit that I wasn't all-powerful. I just hoped that he wasn't thinking too deeply about why I wanted to protect her.

"Are you expecting an attack, Hitsugaya-Taichou?"

I shook my head. "No, but I haven't been given any information about this attacker; all I know is that he controls the Hollows that I have been eradicating. I am not aware of how he came to know about the locations of the survivors, and therefore I cannot be sure that it won't happen again while there is only one Shinigami to protect the heir."

Yamamoto stayed silent for a long time. I highly doubted that he hadn't been aware of this, I suspected it was more like he was carefully selecting what information to volunteer to make me shut up.

"Very well. I shall send a team of four to patrol the residence. Is that agreeable?"

Inwardly, I scowled heavily. He had managed to sound so reasonable while still avoiding giving away any clues. Damn_ him. _But instead I inclined my head gratefully and he turned off the screen.

I left the room and closed the door, staying outside as I breathed heavily and considered the predicament I had gotten into. I hadn't been able to ask directly after information after having stated that my only desire was to successfully protect Mitsuki. If I had, no doubt would he have interrogated me about my reasons for such concern. I rarely asked for more briefing than I was given: before now I had been assured that I had all I needed to complete my mission or do my job. And on this particular mission, if I showed more interest than common it would raise unmistakable warning flags for the Commander. Normally I would have looked down at speculations of sentimental involvement, but this time they would have been correct... In fact, he probably wouldn't have ever dreamt of the depth of them. And I didn't have enough faith in myself that I thought that I would be able to act well enough in front of him in order to squash those doubts.

And now, I had to go and explain to Mitsuki exactly why, until further notice, it was imperative that we stayed distanced. I winced slightly and prepared myself for telling an unstable girl why I could no longer even embrace her while she cried.

_Compromise._ Hyōrinmaru whispered to me in the back of my mind. I paused.

_What do you mean?_

_Tell her that you do not know who will be coming to assist you, and that depending on who it is, you may be able to trust them to stay quiet._

_This is ridiculous, we don't even know if Yamamoto would be displeased with this, _I grumbled. _But we can't afford to take risks. _I acquiesced as I made my way back towards Mitsuki's room.

OOO

I had lied. I hadn't planned on reading at all. In fact, I had already decided that I was going to take this time alone to settle down and untangle the messy ball that was my feelings.

And I was going to tell him. About Aaron.

I was, I was, I _was_. It wasn't fair to keep it from him. Neither of us seemed to know where this thing was going, but I wanted to make my situation absolutely clear before I let it go any further... Or even carry on at all. The very last thing I wanted was for my cowardice to result in some inconsideration on his part due to his ignorance, because I knew very well how I would react and that would _not_ be good.

_I'll tell him as soon as he gets through the door. The second he walks in, I'll say 'I have to talk to you. It's about us' He'll listen, of course he will._

I winced as I accepted that anger might be a possible reaction once he learnt of my kiss. He might even view me as a whore... But what was done was done. I also knew that he might take my actions as simply wanting to forget, or as comfort... That wasn't entirely true, but I did also have feelings for him. I sighed as I realised that I would have to start of this confession with the fact that I did have feelings for him, and that I would have to make it absolutely clear. People had an annoying habit of disregarding the part previous to your revelation when it came to things like this.

My eyes widened as I heard the door between the rest of the house and the bedrooms open. _So soon! I haven't worked out anything at all! Am I ready? Can I do this? I mean, what-?_

I cut off my thoughts. I had to be ready. I simply had to be. This had gone on long enough, and while it might not be enough to be called deception, it was certainly being unfair to him every moment I didn't tell him.

The door opened. I looked up at him and noted his worried visage.

"Tōshirō, you look like you have something to tell me, but I really need to talk to you about something serious." Well, I got that out fairly easily. But, then again, that _was_ the easy part.

He seemed to swallow his thoughts as he nodded and sat on the bed next to me, cross-legged. I couldn't see his face, and I wondered if that was good or not.

"About?"

I took a deep breath and turned to him. "Do you remember what I said Mum had told me about never going to the UK again?"

Tōshirō's face was guarded as he nodded and then realisation seemed to strike him. "You mean... this 'he'?" He asked me slowly, eyes never leaving my face.

I opened my mouth and then closed it again, scrapping my previous plan on how to start.

"Well, before I met you..." I said slowly, reluctantly, "I was... in love with him." I said with difficulty. "But you made everything confused, and even now I don't––" I shook my head "I don't know... But," I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, preparing myself for the absolute worst. "When I got there, he kissed me... Well, we kissed. I won't pretend that I didn't kiss back or anything..." I trailed off into mumbling before finding my voice again. "But now I'm not going to see him again am I. And when you were here and you kissed me and I didn't know what to do because the whole time I was there I was feeling guilty but I didn't know who I felt I had betrayed _at all_ and usually it would be clear to me that I had betrayed Aaron because, you know, I had had feelings for him first and for a long time but now I just don't know and I think I might have felt like I was being disloyal to _you_ even though I didn't think we would ever have anything or that you liked me at that point and that makes me feel so ashamed." I paused for breath and halted my babbling, before opening my eyes and looking at him. "Because if I felt like I had betrayed you... either I had been mistaken about the strength of my feelings for him, or my feelings for you are stronger than mine were for him," I said softly, looking down, and away from his inscrutable gaze.

"And do you know who you feel like you've betrayed now, in retrospect?" He asked me quietly. I shook my head and glanced at him.

"No, I think it'll be a long time before I'll be able to see clearly."

"I see."

And then he went silent. And I sat there and waited for his reaction, with my left hand hidden with crossed fingers. _Please, please, please don't hate me._

His silence went on for too long. My fear escaped and I blurted: "If you hate me just say so now."

"No," He assured me with the softest voice I had ever heard him use. "No, I don't hate you."

I curled inwards, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my head on my knees, as I waited for his verdict. At least I knew that he didn't hate me... I tried to figure out how I would feel if he told me that he had been in love with and kissed another girl... Hurt. Upset. I would doubt his feelings for me if he hadn't made them clear enough... Have I made mine clear enough, I fretted.

"I wish... I had more time." He said slowly. I frowned, gaining enough confidence to look at him.

"What do you mean?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, eyes averted from me now. "I asked for back-up and I got it. But I don't know if any sort of relationship with you would be approved." He rested his head against the wall, eyes closed again. "He might even suspect something since I requested aid, and they might even be on the lookout for signs." A crease appeared between his eyebrows as he lowered his head and looked at me.

"Do they think that we had met before now? Were you placed in my school because of me?"

He sighed. "Two very good questions, but I don't know the answer to either of them... Mitsuki," he said, voice cautious. "They could be people I can rely on to not mention it, or they could not."

I nodded, I understood what he was trying to tell me. I would miss the comfort, but I didn't feeling like complaining too much today.

"How long until they arrive?"

"Well, that depends. It could be anywhere between an hour and a day."

_I really picked the worst time didn't I? Maybe it's selfish or deceptive to wish that I had waited... Then I would be able to steal one last kiss, one last hug..._ I winced as I remembered the last time I had heard those words.

"_One last hug, my little Eva?"_

I abruptly realised the difference between the two. Eva was Aaron's. Mitsuki was Tōshirō's. The problem was that I was in between the two, I still considered myself as Eva, but I knew now that Eva was simply a part of Mitsuki, a part of her long life. But I had yet to completely renounce this current identity and embrace myself as a whole...

And that was partly because I had many people I didn't wish to let go... and also because I was lacking in those other memories... But mainly because Aaron held my heart in his hands. Tōshirō may have had his hands on it too, but he was allowing me to move on. Aaron wasn't. He was clutching with a tight grip and refusing to let me move forward. And I knew that breaking free would be painful and difficult... But also that it had to be done. I had to let go. I had to move on. I just wished that it was a little easier... Or perhaps that it had never been necessary in the first place.

I sighed. All this philosophical stuff was tiring me out. Or maybe I just labelled it philosophical because it was complicated.

"This needs to get sorted, Tōshirō, and soon." I told him expressionlessly as I looked out of the window. There was a blanket of cloud covering the sky. It was going to rain.

OOO

The team of four that Yamamoto had sent me wasn't the best I had seen... But as much as might have liked four captain-level Shinigami to miraculously appear, able to defeat any and all threats, that was never going to happen. So I would have to make do with Abarai, Matsumoto, my third-seat Hisamuko, and Kuchiki Rukia.

We were standing in the air above the Arima residence. This was mainly to showcase to whoever might be watching that there were indeed several Shinigami protecting and patrolling the area. It was also because this way I could send them out on their rounds without them ever having seen which bedroom was Mitsuki's. _But that might be entirely unnecessary. Matsumoto knows, and I am fairly certain that the others are trustworthy._

"Does everyone here know why we are here?"

Rukia spoke up.

"Genryuusai-sama said that we would be protecting the survivor and heir of the Arima clan from possible Hollow threats."

I nodded in confirmation. "That is correct. We assume that the same perpetrator that hunted down the Arima clan is the one who may send a specific type of Hollow, identifiable by the holes in its mask. We do not know possible Hollow numbers nor are we privy to who this criminal is, and we must be prepared to deal with any threat." I waited until I had seen nods all around before continuing. "I have a personal favour to request of you, but before I ask, I would like your word that it will not reach any other ears, regardless of whether you agree or not."

Abarai and Kuchiki exchanged a look between themselves, while Hisamuko nodded sharply and Matsumoto simply carried on staring at me like she had been since she arrived. I raised my eyebrows and waited, arms crossed.

"You have my word, Taichou." Matsumoto was the first to pledge. The others soon followed and I regarded them calmly, trying to convey as much seriousness as possible.

"Due to the fact that the proper course of action regarding the survivors has not been decided, I would like to ask you all to refrain from mentioning to the Commander or anyone else that I have a personal relationship with the heir."

Kuchiki looked delighted, before she smothered it with a mask of professionalism; Abarai had started off with shock, but now he just had this smirk that was already starting to irritate me; Hisamuko had looked surprised but had then just smiled neutrally; and Matsumoto was still staring at me.

Her reaction was worrying me the most. Something was wrong, she must have discovered something while in Seretei. At the back of my mind I was already weighing the most likely possibilities, but I carried on talking to the four Shinigami.

"Does anyone find this unreasonable?"

Silence.

"Then, does everyone agree to keep this information to themselves and not report anything related?"

I got a slow chorus of voices as the blended in with each other. I listened just enough to make sure that they weren't trying to trick me and had, in fact, done what I had asked.

"I thank you. Now, patrols will be in pairs starting in thirty minutes. You have that time to familiarise yourselves with the surrounding landscape and residence itself, and if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. Dismissed."

Three of the forms disappeared. Matsumoto walked towards me, her face now contorted into an unseemly frown.

"Taichou, Yamamoto seems to be under the impression that we are going to be attacked. I think he summoned Michiyo to ensure that she survived."

I frowned and muttered a choice profanity under my breath. That was low, even for someone morally grey.

"I did think that perhaps that might be the reason, but I couldn't work out _why_ he would prioritise in that order. It doesn't make sense."

"I think it might be some problem with Mitsuki's gigai."

I raised my eyebrows. "What, has she gotten stuck in it?" Ludicrous.

"I don't know... But Yamamoto was talking to Miyako about gaining audience with Urahara."

I sighed. "Maybe they want to make sure it would be okay for Mitsuki to leave it. After all, it was made specifically for her, and she might have been in it a long time."

We were silent for a while, until Matsumoto murmured that she should find Hisamuko and I replied that I would be inside the residence.

I arrived outside Mitsuki's bedroom window to see her sitting at her desk staring straight at where I was. Her gaze was unfocused, I realised, after a minute. I looked past her to see my gigai lying on her bed, right where I had left it. I stepped through, pausing before stepping around Mitsuki and into my gigai. I lay there for a minute with my eyes closed as I went over any possible complications with Mitsuki that could be what was preventing her from being safe and secure in Seretei.

And then I felt her hand tracing down my face. She still thought that I was in spirit form briefing my current subordinates. I opened my eyes, only to see her sit down on the bed next to me.

"You're not meant to be that close, remember." I reminded her in a whisper. She sighed.

"I thought it would make it look like I fancied you but that you felt nothing for me, and thus I would only risk touching you while you were out of your gigai. You just ruined my ruse though." She whispered back, and I looked at her pseudo-annoyed face as I grinned inwardly.

"You're good at making excuses," I told her as she smiled, taking it as a compliment. I supposed an ability to lie and deceive might come in handy these days.

"So? Did they give their word?" She asked, and I wondered if she had forgotten our... impasse. She cocked her head at me, a slight smile adorning her face. It sat a little oddly there, making it almost look derisive. "Don't worry – I remember that you might not be exactly willing to sweep me off my feet."

"Yes, they gave their word."

She smiled at me and then checked her watch. "Do you sleep?"

"Less than you," I replied, wondering where the day had gone when I noticed that her watch was stating that it was nearly eight o'clock. "Do you want to sleep now?"

She nodded and quickly reassured me. "You don't have to stay. And tell the others that if they need a room, my sister's room (–here she faltered but quickly recovered–) is opposite mine and will have a made bed. They can have my brother's next door bedroom if they're brave enough."

I levered myself up off her bed and, after having asked her if it was okay, left my 'body' in her desk chair. Once I was outside I sucked my lungs full of fresh cold air and began a tight circular patrol around the house, every now and then stopping by her window to check that she was still there. I passed Abarai and Kuchiki several times until they adjusted their route so that we weren't needlessly overlapping. I let my mind wander a little as I mechanically flash-stepped from lamppost to fence to my roof to postbox... After some time, I came to rest outside Mitsuki's bedroom window once more, and took out my cell phone to check that it was in fact functioning. I was met with a blank screen.

And then I looked up to see my gigai hanging from Mitsuki's light fixture.

OOO

I made Hisamuko up. I thought that Yamamoto would send people from 10th Division rather than force people from other Divisions to go, and Renji and Rukia sounded like they would volunteer. So, there you go, my logic!

And hehe cliffie! Cliiiiiffiiiieee! Me feels so evil. But I changed some things around just to get this cliffie on a chapter of decent length.

I hope you enjoyed!


	9. Drugs & Other Narcotics

Ohoho! So, who did you think it was? What do you think of the tangled web of secretiveness that surrounds our poor protagonist? And am I evil for leaving you with that cliffhanger? Oh yes! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I did own I think Bleach would have a _slightly_ smaller fanbase.

OOO

My blood ran cold as I released my Zanpaktou with a big enough burst of reiatsu to alert the others. Then I leapt through the window and did as quick a scan as possible to ascertain that Mitsuki was indeed gone. Then I cursed and with barely retained patience waited for at least one of the others to arrive. While I did so I closed my eyes and tried to find Mitsuki's ribbon... To no avail. My eyebrows lowered in a frown. She must be far away for me to be unable to find her... _Okay, Kidō then._

As I arrived to that conclusion, Kuchiki arrived. I quickly gestured around the room with Hyōrinmaru showing her the lack of occupants and ordered her to inform Yamamoto as soon as possible.

The next person to appear was Matsumoto. "Good," I snapped. "You're coming with me."

"Where, Taichou?"

It had been so long since I had seen my lieutenant with her more serious disposition... I had forgotten how she always managed to impress me with it. But if I ever brought it up it was purely to tell her that that was what she should always behave like and _please stop embarrassing yourself at important meetings, woman._

"To wherever the trail leads us," I told her as sheathed Hyōrinmaru and rolled up my sleeves and rolled through my mental inventory of Kidō and selected Bakudō number forty-three. I was suddenly grateful that I had used this one before, as it allowed me to forgo spelling out the whole incantation and simply thrust my arms forward, one hand over the other as I gathered the energy in my palms. As I murmured the name under my breath, I let my hands fly apart and my reiatsu to fly across the whole room. This would hopefully make any traces of reiatsu recently used shine to me like they were under a fluorescent light. I held my breath for a moment, and then opened my eyes.

I exhaled silently in relief as a glowing trail was presented to me. It doubled back on itself, both arriving and departing from the bedroom door. After telling Kuchiki to get the gigai down from the ceiling, I flung the door open, stalking down the hallway and towards the front door.

_They came in through the front door!_

How could I have been so lapse... I was ashamed of myself. My only objective had been to protect Mitsuki, and I had failed. I had let my own feelings get in the way of what was most logical... I should have stayed in the room with her. No one would have been able to get to her if I had been there, watching every breath. But my brain had become so addled, I didn't even ask Hisamuko to stay and do my patrol with Matsumoto. I had done the opposite of what I should have been doing; I had watched the area and not the target. It had probably been so easy for them to slip past, they must have laughed at our pathetic attempts to provide safety.

There was only one thing I could do to even try to repair the damage my carelessness had done: I had to get her back before any harm came to her. And that meant acting with all due haste, despite the fact that I was quite aware that Yamamoto would later reprimand me for "gallivanting off" or some such, leaving Kuchiki to inform him of the situation and not really giving orders to the others, who would probably make some mess and maybe try to follow me but probably stay here.

But I couldn't find it in myself to be particularly concerned. The only real worry I had was that this did, in many ways, confirm my suspicions that we were wither set up, or that someone on the inside found out. An mere observer wouldn't have taken the chance, they would have added two and two and realised that once Miyako returned, at least three of the Shinigami would leave.

And thus, Michiyo's departure was crucial to this kidnapping _attempt_. I just had to work out how before it was too late.

OOO

I had woken up sometime before arriving at wherever I was being taken and sometime after being gagged and unceremoniously slung over my kidnapper's shoulder.

I had then spent some time wondering what I would be able to do in this situation. How could I manage to escape from my captor –who, incidentally, was doing what I believed was called 'flash-stepping', if the cold wind attacking my face pretty much constantly with short pauses at regular intervals was anything to go by– and even if I did, how would I manage to communicate to Tōshirō (or anyone else who might be able to help) where I was?

At the moment if I tried anything, which probably wouldn't work anyway, I would just be endangering myself and angering them. I should wait until a more opportune moment presented itself. Perhaps when they stopped flash-stepping. Or, I could wait for Tōshirō to find me... Because he couldn't be that mad at me, right? He'd already be looking for me, right?

_Yeah, but he was meant to protect you and look at how well he did that._

_...What a bitter, petty and horrible person you are, Arima Mitsuki._

I sighed onto the... neck (shoulder? Back?) of my captor as I told myself off for being nasty; Tōshirō had done his best and he was probably doing his best right now. It was my fault that I went and picked the worst time possible to confess about my confusion and recent kiss with another guy. In fact, this was all one big mess.

_Shouldn't I be more worried? I _am_ being kidnapped here... _I thought lethargically as I realised that all I'd done was debate -with myself- and not done a single bit of panicking or screaming. I might have been pretty proud of myself if I hadn't suspected that I was on some sort of drug. When I envisioned myself crossed-eyed, laughing hysterically and peeing all over my captor, I wondered if they would let me go. And then I laughed.

Something was definitely wrong.

_Oh. _I groaned as I lurched to a stop, swinging into the air before coming back with a low _thump_. My stomach complained and I quite suddenly realised all the aches and pains assaulting me: my right elbow felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to it; I had a pounding headache that made every moment an exercise in patience; my mouth and chin were itching something fierce; my stomach had the dull ache that I associated with overeating and Christmas; and my neck and shoulder joints felt so stiff I wished I had puked all over whoever was carrying me without a concern for my well-being, because that was usually a good way to make someone put you down. And everyone found that gross. Even I would have found that gross, and it would have been me getting rid of my breakfast.

_You'd be puking all over your own face Eva, _I told myself after some seconds. I had forgotten momentarily about the gagged situation while lost in my fantasy. But that just added to my list of grievances.

So yeah, over all, I felt pretty shit.

_Kidnapped, in pain, all this crap... Why didn't I notice this before? Drugs wearing off? _I wondered as I stared at the dark ground with lines of pretty lights with bleary eyes. Was I crying? Had I forgotten my glasses? _You have a habit of leaving them off when pretty boys are around, you know..._ _Hmm, interesting... Lights are lampposts... No... that's a big building... Skyscraper? Ooh it's the cigar! Aww it's all lit up! Wait, something wrong... Oh, oh yeah! I'm in the air. Ha ha ha, I'm flying! Flyyyyiiinnng baby!_

With extreme effort, I raised my arms and did a vague flapping motion. I even jiggled my legs up and down a little. My voice was a little hoarse, but who cared? "Oh, I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky! Think about it every night and day, spread my wings and fly away!" I then burst into laughter, which ended with some shuddering and very painful coughing.

I heard low grumbling murmurs that corresponded with the breaths and vibrations of whoever had me over their shoulder. I couldn't catch any audible response, and was just thinking about turning my head to try and see who had me, when the gag was pulled up to cover my whole face. How annoying. What if they gave up and left me somewhere? I wouldn't be able to tell my rescuers in detail and at length about their ugly faces.

At least they were letting me breathe. How very kind and considerate... If only all people were so charming, the world would be a better place.

"This itches. And it doesn't do a very good job of shutting me up." I informed them calmly. "Which makes it possible for me to list all the people that are going to hunt you down for touching me."

I felt a harsh, barking laughter run through my... _God, what as the word? Mule? What was the name of that poor animal charged with lugging about all the stuff... Argh! Stupid drugs!_ Anyway, point being, the guy laughed. And I didn't appreciate this.

"Overconfidence gets people killed," I told him. _You shouldn't take a Captain lightly_ almost left my mouth before I realised that they might not know who he was, and that I might be ruining an advantage. So I kept my mouth shut, thankful in some perpetually cheery part of my brain that I had at least some sense about me.

"Talking too much makes me want to drop you, little girl." His voice sounded like a grizzly bear crossed with dragging a wet body over some gravel. It made me want to put my own hand over my neck, as if the watery edge might make the inside of my throat bleed in imitation.

But please, 'little girl'?

I snorted. "So, drop me," I retorted. I didn't know why I thought this false bravado would help me, but it made me feel better. Safer, like I'd just pulled on another layer to protect myself against cold weather.

He laughed again, shifting me to a more comfortable position – for him. My hips had been resting over his shoulder, with my legs hanging down to his left and my top half pretty parallel to his back. I scowled underneath the cloth as his shoulder dug into my stomach, and my spine began to ache as it had to bend forward rather than lie straight. And the blood was still rushing to my head. I had never been able to stand that, ever since I was small I had always refrained from being upside down: I had never learnt how to do a handstand, had never sat upside-down on the sofa like my brother, had never leant too far backwards on the monkey bars like my sister.

My head swam as movement started up again, and I grimaced as the movement made pain ripple through me like waves in the sea. I wondered if I was going to pass out, and if I would even realise. I was fed up with this kidnapping lark. I'd had a bad enough day – most of my family was still missing, I would never see too many people to count again nor my home country, my mother wasn't in the same world let alone country, and I had possibly ruined my only solace. Who happened to be the only person with a chance of rescuing me. _Nice one, Eva, really... You amaze me with your stupidity._

I sighed and then stiffened as it occurred to me that all my other family members had been killed. Had they been kidnapped first? I couldn't remember... And where were these people taking me? How far away _was_ this place? Were we leaving the country? No... We had been at the centre when I had woken... Maybe they were going in circles? Or trying to shake off pursuers? But they must be going somewhere eventually... They must have a place in Barcelona. Were they that committed to their cause -that was, getting rid of us- that they were willing to go to these lengths?

What had we done in the first place? As far as I knew, I hadn't taken out anyone they knew. So why all the ill will to me personally? Why couldn't they just leave us alone now? And just who were these people that were so loco they kept a grudge for over three hundred years? Did they all work for one man? Shinigami _and_ Hollows? Just how powerful was this guy, and why hadn't the Gotei Thirteen gotten rid of this threat?

And what did they want with me?

I had too many questions running around inside my skull, and there wouldn't have been enough space even without the headache. I bit my lip and frowned underneath my impromptu mask. I had wanted to find out who it was that had been baying for my blood, but now I just wanted them all to disappear. I wanted to never have to think about this again.

I wanted to go home and see my family and go to school and mess around with my friends and be young and irresponsible. I wanted my life back.

OOO

Seeing as I had had the misfortune of being in _slightly_ too much pain to fall asleep but not enough to pass out, I had been _blissfully_ aware of every moment. Including the one where the wind stopped attacking my bare arms and feet and my slight swaying increased and I felt gravity start to pull at my legs. We were going down, and it seemed so consistent that it had to be stairs. I hoped it wasn't a basement... I'd never liked basements; horrible musty places with spiders where no one would hear you scream. But I probably wouldn't mind being able to sit down; we had been running about for an _age _and my body felt bruised and battered, as well as slightly frozen.

I knew I had been right to forgo changing into my pyjamas and to simply collapse onto my bed, jeans and all. But I had only been wearing a short-sleeved t-shirt.

Suddenly my body was moving through the air and my back connected with a hard surface, my limbs and head following with horrific thuds and cracks. I let out a moan as I slumped to the side, realising that I had been thrown into the corner of a room.

"The drug should wear off soon, little girl... Soon I will be smelling your fear and hearing your screams."

_What a freak..._

I thought, and I would have shuddered if I'd had the energy. Instead I felt a trickle of gratification that I been right about the altered state of mind I found myself in. They had probably not wanted me to make a fuss, I might have slowed them down.

But now... I was at their mercy.

As I heard his heavy solitary footsteps receding, I vaguely remembered him talking to someone, but I hadn't had any indication of their presence since (with now being no exception)... Maybe he had been talking on a phone... But I hadn't felt his arm move... then again, these people must have the monetary means to follow us around the various countries I suspected we had had stints at. He probably had one of those Bluetooth thingies attached to his ear.

I pictured some big hulking caveman wearing a loincloth combined with shoes and a modern communicator in his ear. I would have laughed if I hadn't suddenly choked on the feeling that my life was probably going to end in the next few hours... If not minutes.

I felt the tears dampen my blindfold as I thought about all the places I would never go to again, the things I would never get to do again, and the people that I would never be able to hold or talk to again. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a little voice was saying that I was behaving more normally, so the drug must have started to lose affect already...

And that was when I came to the conclusion that my drug-induced apathy was the only thing that was keeping my captor from harming me. I grabbed onto the thought and became determined to pretend that I was still affected; I was small, he would probably think that he had given me relatively more than he thought. He might fall for it. I would keep my blindfold on, I wouldn't move, I wouldn't try to escape, I would feign cheerful indifference... For now. It might give me enough time, it might give Tōshirō enough time...

I almost wondered if people had stayed behind to take care of him and the others, but then I pushed the thought away before all of my hope was leached out of me. There was only so much I could do, and most of the work would be his. _Was_ his. I had to trust that he would get through anything and that he would find me and take me back and protect me.

I _had_ to keep myself from falling apart. I _had_ to do this. There was too much that I still wanted to do or see or have. I wasn't willing to let my life go just yet.

Determination made me square my shoulders slightly and clench my fists. I had been in bad situations before, and I got through them. I always pulled through.

_Always_.

_...Tōshirō, come and save me already._

OOO

If I had been one of those sensitive guys who had long hair and liked flowers, I probably would have been in tears. Instead I was ready to howl with frustration as the trail looped back in on itself _again._

Following them into Barcelona proper had been easy. In fact, I would have hazarded a guess that they were going into the city centre anyway, if the statistics of their Hollow apparitions were anything to go by. But they seemed to know this city well; _too_ well. I would follow the trail around one block only to find myself ten minutes later where I started, but this time I could see three or four glowing lines leading away from me. At least one was my own, and one was the one I had already followed, but the others I either hadn't been able to see before or they were new.

I kept my faith that they were new and that I was just behind them, but as time went on the lines became hopelessly tangled.

If I kept on doing this, I might never find where they went, but it might be my only chance. I could flash-step upwards and look down on my messy map of lines, but what if we had passed the location several times? I doubted that they would be so lax.

I arrived at another crossroads. This time there were eight different possible paths. I frowned. I no longer had a choice.

_Let us hope... _My mind started but never finished as I tensed my legs, moving upwards a dozen times in quick succession, rapidly gaining the necessary height. I prepared myself, and looked down.

_There!_

I spotted it almost straight away; the strength of the light made it the most stand-out trail. I followed it away to a rather swanky-looking but petite apartment complex. It had a flat roof and the light went right into the trapdoor in the far corner.

Mentally crowing with victory, I shared a glance with Matsumoto. She nodded, loosening her Zanpakutou from its sheath and signalling to Hisamuko, who had caught up with us some two minutes ago. He rushed over and planted himself behind me on the left. Between some slightly aggravated breathing, he informed me that Rukia had still been caught up with Yamamoto and that Renji was prowling around the residence just in case. I nodded; I had expected as much.

"We don't know how many there are, at least one big enough to carry Mitsuki all this way and without slowing. Be prepared."

"I'm ready, sir." Hisamuko told me as he drew his weapon. Matsumoto didn't need to say anything.

"Let's go," I said.

It was time to end this.

OOO

Now this _was_ a hard chapter to write! ;) And aren't I lovely? Poor Eva/Mitsuki is going through some tough times here! I hope you enjoyed!

And what do you think of my Kidō? It doesn't sound too bad and/or unrealistic, right?

P.S: The other day on the news about Japan's disaster, I saw that a town called Miyako was affected (a name I nearly decided on for Michiyo). Thus me remembering it now while writing my fic. My condolences to all and any affected by this tragedy ):


	10. There & Back Again

Houston, we have a problem.

Look, guys, if you want me to post this you should really _show_ it. I'm at the end of my academic year and I have some fierce exams coming up. In fact, I'm in the middle of them. In the equivalent of college or 6th form or whatever you call it, in Spain, you have nearly a _dozen _subjects. Not two or three or just the ones you choose, you get four of those plus six more that you _have _to do regardless of your course. It's also continual assessment and I have at least one exam a month for every subject, as well as essays and homework and what have you.

I'm writing this in my (obviously very short) spare time because I was inspired by _one review. _I already have several more chapters written, but what's the point of posting if you don't get any feedback?

I quit ffn because I had no time. I still have no time. Generally, I write for me and post for you. But in this case, **I'm only doing this for you guys**. And I'm not bitching, or demanding reviews, or making threats, but that's the way it is. If you want it, you've got to show it. I'll be able to post up what I've got, sure, but if I'm not getting motivated I'll be studying for my end of year exams instead.

Disclaimer: I only own this largely unappreciated plot and OCs.

OOO

I had kept it together until I heard the bangs, crashes and muffled shouts from what I supposed the floor above, recognising the deep voice. At that point I had gasped and torn off my blindfold, blinking until my eyes had focused in the dark.

Looking around, I saw that the room looked a lot more like a small apartment. There was a kitchen in the far corner, a dining area to my left, and opposite me was the lounge, complete with a wall-mounted TV and some sofas. Spotting a light on the wall next to me, I levered myself up, grunting lowly at the pain that sprouted in just about every area of my body, and stumbled over to it.

I squinted in the harsh yellow light as I scanned the room again.

This apartment didn't look lived in. In fact, it looked very nice and high-end, like you might expect to see in a catalogue. There might not even be anyone living here, I might have just been going round and round until the guy found an appropriate place. I stepped closer towards the sofas. They looked spotless: not a speck of dust, not a smudge of dirt, nor did it look like anyone had ever touched -let alone sat on- them. I glanced at the low glass coffee table with a rack underneath it for magazines or books. There wasn't a single thing there. I was willing to bet that there wouldn't be any food in the fridge, nor anything in the bathroom cabinet or the bedroom wardrobe.

No, nobody lived here.

So why had I been brought here? Why take me to a flat that nobody lived in, if they _were_ planning on killing me? They wouldn't have anybody to frame. Also, being so clean, any fingerprints found would point directly at those responsible... But I supposed that, being dead and all, they wouldn't be on any record or register. None of the usual rules would really apply – they could just vanish into thin air. Quite literally, in fact.

I was distracted then by the sounds from above. The sounds of conflict had been background noise, but now it suddenly stopped. I held my breath. I could only hope that there had only been that one guy present, and that my side had won. I wouldn't be able to pretend now; I had thrown all that away when I had taken off my blindfold. I ran a hand over my itchy skin and felt tiny bumps. Alarmed, I wondered if I had had an allergic reaction to something... Maybe the cloth wasn't for gagging me at all, and was actually so that I would breathe the drug? It _had_ smelt odd.

I waited until the silence stretched out into eternity. What had happened? I held my breath. I was either done for or saved, those were the only options. Just in case, I looked around and spotted two white doors. One was slightly ajar and I could see the corner of a bed. The other must have lead into the hallway. I edged closer to it, stepping back around the sofa, hand on the doorknob.

I had never been a fast runner... But I would do my best, and hope that he tripped and his own weight caused his injuries to be severe.

I looked up, tense, and watched the stairs between the lounge and the kitchen. _Any moment now..._

Nothing happened.

_Maybe... I should go up there._

Was I willing to risk it? Was I prepared to go up there and possibly see the dead bodies of Tōshirō and whoever else had tried to help me? At first the answer was a resounding no, but the lack of sound ate away at me. My fear was soon joined by nerves rubbed raw and heightened senses as I jumped from the slightest noise.

But still there was nothing from above.

_Oh, what does it matter! You won't be able to do anything to help them, it's already over. All you're doing is delaying the inevitable. If the bad guys won, you'll be seeing them soon enough._

Saying was different from doing. I took a step forward, and faltered slightly. I took another few and soon was standing at the bottom of the stairs. I started trembling and I felt slightly ill. As I tried to climb the stairs as quietly as I could, a cold sweat started breaking out on my forehead and the back of my neck. It was a never-ending staircase, this thing. My various maladies came back to me as I heaved myself up the steep steps. My gaze fixed on the floor disappearing beneath me. And then I was looking at the last step and flat uninterrupted ground.

I had arrived. Nothing happened, there was no movement or sound. I stilled and closed my eyes before raising my head and opening them. There was a huge form slumped in the corner (but no stomach-churning injuries), and things spread across the floor, but as for Tōshirō or anyone who put my captor (I assumed it was him... he was large enough for the profile) there in his prone form... The room was empty of what I had really wanted to see.

I was alone.

_Tōshirō, where are you?_

OOO

It was over. We had caught him unawares with his back to us, still in some form of gigai. We had had the advantage of surprise, and after yelling and falling, pulling down his metal counter covered in what looked like medical instruments with him, he had thrashed around and been so wild it hard been a tough time getting to him. Eventually he had stepped out in Shinigami form. After that, we had been getting through his aggressive defence (that is, offence) but it had taken an infuriatingly long time for me to get myself in an advantageous enough position for a fatal blow. But we had succeeded with no casualties and minimal injury. We hadn't even needed to release. It was almost insulting, how they thought that that guy was going to be strong enough to defeat us.

_Let us just hope that she was not harmed_, Hyōrinmaru murmured at the back of my mind as I sheathed him.

_Agreed. _Who knew how much time we had given them?

"Matsumoto," I said, looking over at my lieutenant as she wiped away blood from her cheek. "Return to the residence, inform Abarai and Kuchiki succinctly as possible of the situation and return to the roof with my gigai." As she bowed her head slightly and replied 'Yes, Captain' before leaving, I turned to Hisamuko. "Clear up and investigate this area. I want to know what those are." I nodded my head towards the items scattered on the floor. He bowed and got to work as I turned towards the stairs.

I dreaded what I would find, but I rapidly made my way down the stairs. I arrived at what looked like an apartment, and felt a huge surge of relief as I saw her.

Mitsuki was standing there, eyes wide and scared as she watched where I had just appeared, left hand clutched around a piece of white fabric and right holding onto the handle of a door behind her so hard that her knuckles were white. Eventually I managed to tear my gaze away from her to check that there was no one else here, and then I walked forward.

I longed to comfort her, but I had known that she wouldn't have been able to see me. I scanned her, expecting to see a horrific injury. All I managed to see was a nasty-looking bruise adorning her elbow. I sighed slightly in relief, glad that it wasn't worse but angry that they _had _hurt her, however far from seriously life-threatening it may be. I looked from her limb up at her face and noticed that she had little raised white spots surrounded by red skin all over the bottom half of her face. I scowled, I had seen that before. I looked down at what she clutched in her hand. She had been subjected to a very abrasive sedative that only managed to have lighter effects -namely keeping panic at bay and thought fairly tedious- in very low quantities. That was why simply inhaling it caused a reaction.

I was glad that they had used a gag rather than injected it directly into her bloodstream (which would probably have killed her), but I knew it wouldn't have helped her fear, and that no matter how they did it, that drug was dangerous.

My gaze darted back to her as she moved forward one pace and then stopped. Her fear was palpable and I wished more than ever that I was able to reassure her that it was okay, she was fine now. She starting moving again, this time without stopping until she reached the bottom of the stairs. I followed her, noting how her movements were stiff and jerky. My scowl became more pronounced. She was clearly more injured than I had first believed.

Her trip to the upper level looked painful. I walked next to her, watching to make sure that she wouldn't fall, despite my inability to do anything.

When she arrived, she paused and seemed to brace herself for what she might see. When she raised her head and saw nobody, the fear that had momentarily left her face returned, albeit not with the same intensity. She glanced around, eyes lingering in the area where my third-seat was peering at the curious artefacts and where the empty shell of her kidnapper remained. Then her gaze turned towards where the trapdoor was located before looking back the way she had come, thoughtfulness now apparent in her expression.

I really hoped she didn't do anything. I prayed for her to stay where she was and wait for me.

Heaving a sigh, she lowered herself onto the ground, back against the wall and watching the two entrances into the room.

I turned away from her and gestured towards Hisamuko. His tall form straightened and loped over. After he had told me in hushed tones -like Mitsuki would have been able to hear us- that to the best of his knowledge those instruments were indeed of medical usage.

And then he said that they also had a history of being used for torture. I now understood why he had been near whispering. I clenched my jaw, as well as most of my other muscles, and waited for the surge of rage to pass. I felt the room get colder and I saw my subordinate flinch, but it wasn't until Mitsuki started shivering that worry and concern managed to calm me down enough.

I felt Matsumoto's presence arrive on the rooftop and as I sent Hisamuko to check out downstairs, I cursed myself for having wasted time. If I had been out there already, all the quicker that Mitsuki would feel safe. But I couldn't run, no matter how much I told myself that he already knew, I couldn't bring myself to present him -or anybody else, for that matter- with such an indication of how much I _did_ care. Eventually I made it outside and asked Matsumoto what was going on. "He's not happy, but he'll deal with it because it worked out. He's called a Captain and Lieutenant assembly, and we're to return within a maximum of forty-eight hours." She informed me as she handed over what looked very much like a dead body. I filed the information away for after as I stepped into my gigai and then did something that I hoped my lieutenant would never care to repeat: I ran towards the trapdoor, jumped through and hurtled down the stairs.

But it was worth it for the look of relief on Mitsuki's face as she shot up and came towards me. I didn't hesitate to put my arms around her and rest my head against hers as I felt the tremors shake her. "I'm so so sorry." I whispered, wondering how much of the deserved blame she would place on my shoulders.

I felt her wavering laugh as she pulled back just enough to look at my face.

"Nothing happened, don't worry," She told me, smiling at me, even as I spotted the wet trail leading away from the corner of her right eye. I wiped the tear clinging to the edge of her jaw and frowned.

"Being kidnapped is not nice, Mitsuki." _Even if you weren't tortured. _I eyed her as she tucked some hair behind her ear and sighed as she tucked her head against my shoulder, wondering what she would make of that particular piece of information. I knew the reaction would probably be fear, but I found myself curious as to what the side-dish would be: horror, shock, anger, relief, or more fear? I shook myself. Time for talk and debate and mulling things over later.

"Let's get you out of here," I told her. I felt her nod before she asked quietly:

"Are you going to carry me?"

I smiled somewhat. "Bridal or piggyback?"

"I think the latter would be best," She informed me a little dryly as she covered a yawn with her hand. She blinked several times and rubbed her eyes. Catching my gaze, she raised an eyebrow.

"What? Stop looking at me."

Her voice was surprisingly neutral as she walked towards the trapdoor and looked up the stream of rather nicely lacquered wooden steps. I followed her upwards. She turned back and smiled at me as what sounded like very loud radio static reached her ears.

"It's raining."

OOO

I was thoroughly soaked once I arrived outside my front door, arms locked around Tōshirō's neck and knees hurting from being bent so long. I felt his hands detach themselves from my thighs and gingerly lowered my feet, brushing the ground before I let myself slide downwards. I looked up at him as he turned around. I eyed him as he stood there, silent, before he turned and walked through the open door. Following him to my room, I glanced around the cold, empty corridor, grabbing a towel on my way past the banister where it was hanging. Arriving at our destination, I lowered the towel from my head and spotted Tōshirō sitting in my desk chair, face way too serious. I reached behind me and shut the door slowly. I then went towards my bedside table and used the remote to turn on my air conditioning, turning it up to a toasty thirty Celsius.

I turned towards him. "What's happened then?"

He looked pained.

"This isn't right. Something is going on, and I no longer know who to trust," He confided slowly.

I sagged against the desk at his words, exhausted. This day was just going from bad to worse – and my problems weren't over, it seemed. In fact, it looked like some very drastic measures would have to be taken to get me out of this mess. And I hadn't even _done_ anything...

I just wanted to sleep. And mourn those I had lost – including my sister, who I felt had been neglected so far and whom deserved the grief – and find myself capable of seeing each piece of my life that I had to still let go of, and be able to know what was coming and prepare myself for it and just _do_ it. I was tired of being stuck in a rut, blind to all the dangerous sharp objects littered all around me. I ran a hand through my damp hair and sluggishly moved to get my brush from on top of my chest of draws. As I started brushing mechanically, I tried to think. Eventually I managed to come up with something.

"It doesn't make sense, where I was taken. And him, you defeated him easily... But they must have known that you were all here, because it was perfectly timed... Maybe you outsmarted them in finding me, maybe they just needed time... Maybe someone was coming. Or maybe someone was meant to come here to take care of you, but they were held up somehow."

I had drifted my gaze towards him as I spoke, and now I saw him visibly stiffen. He stood and came over towards me, taking the brush from my hands and gently pushing it through the rat tails.

"My Commander called a Captain and Lieutenant assembly..." He told me very softly, almost under his breath. I suddenly realised why he had taken over my task; it was a pretence so that he could keep his words confidential. I looked up at him, scared, and saw the dark expression acknowledge that I had understood.

It was the only way it made sense. My enemy was at least a Lieutenant, if not a Captain.

And look at what happened last time a Captain (or two) betrayed Seretei.

_Shit..._

"It seems that I have very powerful enemies, does it not?" I whispered, with our gazes still locked. He nodded almost imperceptibly and then bent down to place a chaste kiss on the corner of my mouth. I turned my head and captured his lips, too late remembering my inflamed skin. I pulled back, vaguely repulsed as I lifted a hand to rub over my left cheek. The little bumps were gone. I made a 'thank the Lord for that' face and sighed as Tōshirō's face momentarily brightened with amusement.

"Ah, yes. That was a common reaction to the drug they subjected you to."

My lips twisted as I thought back.

"I didn't think that song was a normal reaction to kidnapping."

A silver eyebrow raised.

"You sang?"

"Oh, yes. Not well, but yes," I laughed, wondering somewhere how I could be so carefree so as to _laugh_. Couldn't I see, my life was _still_ in danger, my planned future was no doubt _still_ irreparably shattered and unidentifiable compared to my previous ideas, and my family was _still _missing, and there were too many people I would most likely _never_ see again?

_Yes, but I am helpless. The only thing I can do is keep myself somewhere close to sane. _

The truth pained me slightly, but I had always been a little girl against higher powers. This wasn't such a great change, just a more life-and-death (and more literal) one.

"I suppose singing is better than panicking." I heard a voice muse from just above my head. I nodded and hugged him, aware that he was still brushing my hair and that it felt really nice. I yawned and felt him shift. "Mitsuki... you should sleep."

I didn't want to sleep here. I was tired and I wanted to rest, most definitely, but I doubted it would come easily (if at all, really) in my bed.

Mute, I shook my head. _No._

"I'll stay with you, Mitsuki, you don't need to worry," His voice was strained and tinted with an apology. I considered before eventually nodding in acquiescence and letting him lead me towards my bed. He took the towel from me and folded it up to place over my pillow. "Do you want to change into nightwear? I'll be right outside the room."

Getting out of these dirty clothes would be nice. And I knew that I didn't really want to be wearing the outfit I was kidnapped in. Even so, I found it hard to agree and have myself alone in my room. I went and closed the blinds before setting out the pyjamas I wanted (warm trousers and button-up long sleeved shirt set) and changing in record time, dumping my reject articles behind the door. I opened the door and let out a silent sigh when Tōshirō came back in and nothing had happened.

I slid under my covers and watched him close the door behind him and then walk over to me. I shifted away from him and he lay down in the space, on top of the covers. I wanted to protest and have him properly hug me, but I realised that he might not be doing it for me, but for him because he was still upset over what I had told him. I quenched my desire to reach out to him and tried to sleep.

Rest only came once I felt the gentle pressure of his hand coming to rest on mine and his lips on my forehead.

I was home.

OOO

I hope you enjoyed!


	11. Revelations

Chapter 11! I'm not quite sure how long this thing will be, but I do have the rest of the story planned out. I can't wait to see what you all think! :P **This is a really important chapter, guys! I'm so excited: the plot thickens!** Enjoy!

Disclaimer: doing these over and over again is almost annoying as having to go the Guidelines every time I want to start a new story... Or maybe as frustrating as having the upload server down for a week. What do you think, ffn?

OOO

I woke far too early for my liking. I would have given quite a lot to have slept away a good chunk of the afternoon and missed all other important happenings, and for everything to be neatly sorted and taken care of. As it was, I was awake at ten in the morning and was strangely rested despite my short hours of sleep.

"Good morning," Tōshirō murmured to me, opening his eyes. I waited for him to sit up and scarper, but he made no move to leave. I almost sent him an inquiring look, but that would have implied that I didn't want him here. Which I did. "I've been thinking."

_Oh noes, don't do that! You never know what might happen! _Again, I had to resist my impulse. What was wrong with me? I didn't resent Tōshirō for making part of the situation clearer to me, in fact I had been aggravated by everyone else who was striving to keep me in the dark. Not even my kidnappers had dignified me with reasons as to why I was being snatched in the middle of the night. My mother, who was supposed to tell me everything, had just upped and left, perhaps not of her own accord, but she hadn't even told Tōshirō to explain everything that she wouldn't, and obviously he couldn't say anything without displeasing her. I knew enough to see how important my mother was, and I would have been blind not to realise that she had the means to contact Seretei and that Tōshirō had already known to wait for us because the Commander had been warned. In fact, he was probably warned a fair while ago, I would hazard a guess that he knew, say, a few days before Tōshirō came to my school.

He let my have my minute of introspection and waited for me to come back down to Earth.

"About?"

"About Aaron."

I tried to hide my shocked and terrified expression.

I didn't remember telling Tōshirō his name, and hearing it come out of his mouth scared me more than I would ever have thought possible. It suddenly felt like he knew everything, had read my mind, that I couldn't hide, like my deepest secrets had been dredged up to the light for his inspection. But it was more than that. It was a collision. Tōshirō saying Aaron's name brought them together somehow, two separate worlds (alive and dead, unquestionable and surreal, past and present...) had again come to confront each other. Before they had both existed, now only one could win.

Now I had to fully accept that I would never see him again, that he _was_ a part of my past, not of my present, and most certainly not of my future.

I had to choose. And I had only one choice.

My heart was beating fast in my throat. "And?" I said, voice only wavering slightly.

"I'm being irrational," He started slowly, but picked up speed. "You and I weren't together in any way, we did not have any sort of relationship outside of the platonic. I had no claim on you, and even now my 'claim', as such, is not very strong. It was your choice and you made it, and, while I will not apologise for your feelings for me, I understand that he is another thing that has been taken from you. And that, I _am_ sorry for."

I let out a breath as he watched me.

He didn't mention my confusion, or his feelings for me, nor did he ask me for anything. It was, above all, not an apology, but his way of trying to lessen my guilt and take some weight off my shoulders. I was glad, but having worked this out led me to wondering about the most crucial parts that he _had_ skipped. But it was still more than I had hoped for.

I smiled at him. "Thank you," I whispered, and nearly came to tears when he shifted forward and held me, one arm around my waist and the other around my neck and coming up to cradle my head.

I wanted to kiss him so badly, I wanted to hold his face in my hands and thread my fingers through his and laugh and joke around and feel like we were in a real relationship, so that I had something concrete that I could name and defend. But I was terrified of gaining that and then losing it (and thinking about what had started and what could have been, of having a taste only to have it torn away... to have the same thing happen again. _No_). I knew this left me with the only option of forcing him to decide, to act. To leave everything up to him. It was perhaps harsh, but what else could I do?If he found my behaviour unacceptable then I would suffer the consequences and that was that.

I was afraid, and with good reason. My yearning for affection had battled with my quite rational fear, and they had arrived at a sort of compromise.

He held me for much longer than I thought he would, and when he slowly dipped his head to kiss me, it felt like a sigh of relief. I relaxed and melted and moulded myself to him. When he eventually opened his eyes I smiled at him because I knew that he hadn't done it for my benefit, and that was what I had been holding out for. I could have pushed it, but I hadn't, because I knew that what I really wanted was for _him_ to want to kiss me. And he had.

I rested my head against his chest and let myself sleep again.

OOO

"Hitsugaya-Taichou and Matsumoto-Fukutaichou, your presences are required at tomorrow's meeting. That is all."

And the bastard turned away, and the screen turned off before I could ask 'And Mitsuki?' My jaw muscles bunched and jumped several times as I tried to rein in my wrath. I didn't turn to face my Lieutenant.

"He didn't say anything about the others," She murmured, trying to placate me, but I could see that her hand had fallen onto and was gripping her Zanpakutō hilt, a habit that signified rising ire. I myself couldn't grasp Hyōrinmaru because I was still in my gigai for convenience.

I sighed and fixed her with a look.

"Abarai and Kuchiki will be summoned back, you know that. That will leave her with Hisamuko."

I trusted my third-seat... But he was my third-seat, not a Captain, not even a Lieutenant. He was an inch of the two-foot wide ring of protection Mitsuki obviously needed. Yamamoto knew this... Why was he taking such risks? Nothing made sense unless you considered the possibility that Yamamoto wanted Mitsuki dead and was trying to get her killed.

I mean, _what_?

My head was hurting and I needed to say goodbye. Mulling over this had gotten me nowhere so far, and I doubted I would have a eureka moment with a headache present.

I turned back towards the neighbouring house, calling over my shoulder to Matsumoto that she should inform Hisamuko and impress upon him the importance of sticking with the heir _at all times_. Because, dammit, I don't make the same mistake twice and I would be damned before I let someone else do it for me. I arrived outside Mitsuki's bedroom and had a moment of nervous tension as I swallowed. What if something had happened in the five minutes I had been away? She hardly needed that long to get head-deep into trouble. And after what happened last time she fell asleep in a room by herself... My heart relocated itself to my throat as I reached for the ugly gold-imitation doorknob.

She was there, sleeping above the covers, hands folded underneath her head and legs bent to make a near-foetal position. I smiled at her in relief and moved to wake her.

"Mitsuki..." I murmured as I crouched down. I felt warmed by her immediate resulting smile as she opened her eyes.

"Hey," she greeted softly, sitting up and rubbing her eye with her fist like a three-year-old. "Let me guess," She yawned, looking at me with one eye as she started smiling at me again. "More bad news?"

_That is so ironic... _

I let myself frown, preparing her. I watched her face fall with resignation and reached forward for her hand. "I have to be there at the meeting tomorrow."

I didn't want her to cry. There was nothing I wanted more than to help her avoid more heartache, I wanted that even more than I wanted her... But she couldn't be blamed for her tears. Whoever could? She was as helpless as a newborn babe left in the woods. And that metaphor was about to become even more applicable to her situation... But I watched as her reddening and watering eyes started clearing. She sniffed once, and then she composed her face.

"Take me with you."

I dared to dream that this hope of hers wasn't the only thing keeping her from breaking down mentally in desperation.

"I don't know if I can... I would need to talk to the maker of your gigai..." I rocked back on my heels and looked upwards as I considered. "Actually, perhaps I could ask him to look after you."

"I don't know, Tōshirō, I want to be around someone I trust..."

I heaved a sigh, even as I hid the gratification of knowing that she at least trusted my judgement on his strength and capabilities. This _was_ her life, after all. "I know, but I trust this man with my life..." I leaned forward to hug her, saying lowly into her ear, "And if the threat really _is_ from the inside, bringing you to Seretei may just be putting you more directly in harm's way. Don't be fooled: Seretei doesn't equal safety at this point. The man who made your 'suit' is trustworthy and has helped you and your family before."

"Okay... okay."

She conceded, and I released her, going on to explain that at least one person would definitely be there, and that I would try to find out what I could. I then told her to sleep, I would be in the kitchen making calls. She refused to stay put and insisted on coming with me, despite the fairly obvious way her tired limbs shook, the conspicuous slow blinking, and the downright obvious yawning. But I didn't stop her; I merely ordered her to sit down at the kitchen table. She complied and rested her head one her palm, looking at me with half-closed eyes.

"I wonder how much the telephone bill will be..." She said slowly. I merely nodded, knowing that her unfocused eyes were actually indicative of how she'd moved onto another train of thought.

"Howdy!"

Urahara was going through a cowboy phase. I just hoped he didn't show up in leather trousers and no jeans underneath.

"Urahara," I said shortly, and was internally relieved when his disposition became more serious... Well, serious for his general behaviour anyway.

"Ah, Hitsugaya-san. Is this about the heir?"

How did that man know everything? _At least he might know what's going on._

"Yes. I'll be succinct."

"Do go ahead." He was holding his fan over his face, I _knew_ it.

"What the fuck is going on?"

I heard a heavy sigh and Yoruichi's voice in the background... Hadn't she been here? Maybe she too had gone to Urahara for answers.

"As unbelievable as it may seem, Hitsugaya-san, I am actually unaware of-"

"Cut it. What do you know?" I felt like shouting at him or hitting something. When would he finish with the playful bullshit act?

"Hmm. I know that all is not as it appears. I have just contacted the Commander, and now he knows not to trust "Arima Michiyo"."

This stuns me for a second.

"Come again?"

"Apparently, it was in fact the Arima clan that started their little dispute. One of the Arima kidnapped the young Shimatsu heir, Tsubaki, after her own child was killed. The Shimatsu retaliated with all their force, crushing them, but still unable to find their lost member."

Shimatsu. That was the name. I had been trying to remember for so long... But people only remembered the horrors inflicted upon the Arima, and the Shimatsu name had been erased from history for their atrocities.

Urahara continued talking, and I listened, rapt. Maybe now it would all make sense, if he knew this much, he must know what was going on right now, at this moment.

"And of course, when the Shimatsu were banished from Seretei, converted into outlaws, they were furious. But by then, no one would listen to their attempts to tell the true account of what had happened. This just made it worse, and now Shimatsu attacked the remainder of the Arima –decimated to half their original numbers already– and, well, you know what happened then."

"Yes," I said, nodding. It was the bogeyman warning to every child in Soul Society. Everyone had heard the stories. "But that doesn't explain why..." I paused, and turned to check on Mitsuki. She was asleep, head resting on her folded arms, supported by the kitchen table. "Why they are not trustworthy."

"She is Shimatsu. She is Shimatsu Hiroko, the mother of the stolen heir. Halfway through their genocide campaign, Hiroko realised three crucial things: that both clans would be disappearing, that they needed someone to survive, and that they needed an insider in the Arima clan to find Tsubaki once things were all over. She decided to double and fulfil both roles, thus ensuring the continuation of her clan with her heir and the end of her mortal enemies, the Arima. She knew that Miyako, being clan head, would be taken down by the lesser members hunting them before she could get to her or explain to the rest of the Shimatsu, and so she targeted her younger sibling, Michiyo... And it took her three centuries to find her. Once she had, she tore her out of her fake body, murdered her, and managed to squeeze herself into the empty gigai. An unfortunate side-affect of Michiyo's modified suit. I would know, I made it."

I took a long moment to process this, and then I asked the most pertinent question. I kept my eyes trained on Mitsuki.

"And why hasn't she taken care of the heir? I assume she is responsible for the death of the guards posing her father and her siblings."

"Because she believed that Mitsuki was actually Tsubaki, _her_ daughter, and that Michiyo was the one who had kidnapped her."

It made sense... Did Hiroko travel to Seretei to reveal to Yamamoto who she really was, find out if Mitsuki _was_ her real name after all?

"Why did she leave for Seretei? Was she happy to continue her clan under the name of her enemies if it meant re-entry into the clan hierarchy?"

Both the Arima and the Shimatsu had had something in common: they had a cold rivalry with the Kuchiki clan. It had been a shared ambition to surpass them in any way possible: in Shinigami strength, numbers, power, influence... You name it, the Kuchiki had it. And the Arima and the Shimatsu wanted to better them; now that I thought about it, they had been discussing uniting the clans... But of course, all that was forgotten with the kidnapping.

"This is where things stray into the field of guesswork. I believe that Hiroko wanted to coordinate with whomever was helping her from within Seretei (and there is an insider, I can assure you of that) and also that she planned the attack on Mitsuki, because she had discovered that Mitsuki _was_ in fact Arima, and therefore the only remaining survivor. Being under the Commander's eye would exempt her from suspicion, don't you think?"

It had been Hiroko all along. She must have taken care of the guards that same day that Mitsuki left for England.

"Where is she now?" I asked, throat dry.

"I don't know. When I spoke with Yamamoto, she was resting before the meeting tomorrow."

"She was going to be there?"

"Oh yes; it was actually going to be an interrogation... Well, more like a courteous request for information about the Arima situation and her escape."

I scanned Mitsuki's face. I had been wondering why Mitsuki had been imparted with all this information, and now I knew: Hiroko had made the mistake of assuming that Mitsuki wasn't who she was meant to be. Once she had dispatched of everyone Mitsuki thought was her family, she couldn't go back. She had shot herself in the foot. She had nothing left to do but masquerade as Michiyo and reveal basic information to satisfy her.

But she could have just taken care of Mitsuki once she realised she wasn't _her_ daughter. But maybe the woman wasn't without scruples and refused to kill Mitsuki, who was pretty innocent, especially considering her ignorance.

I abruptly remembered the kidnapping, the ease with which we had gotten Mitsuki back, the abhorrently suspicious timing, and the medical instruments...

"I don't think she was sure yet... I think she wanted to find out. Mitsuki was kidnapped last night," was it really just last night? "and there was only one enemy, whom we defeated with ease. He had been distracted with medical instruments..."

Urahara was silent for a long minute as he reassessed the situation. I didn't wait for him: I had questions to ask that would hopefully point to something that would make sense of this, and Urahara would know the answers.

"Her gigai, is there a problem with her getting back into Soul Society?"

"No, none, once she takes it off, but that requires a particular incantation... that only I know. You might be able to tear her out of it, but that would be high with risk for injure, coma or death."

I had wondered (for about ten seconds... but honestly, I had only just been informed!) why Hiroko hadn't just taken her out of her gigai while she was sleeping, surely she would recognise her daughter. The Shimatsu had very distinctive traits, namely reddish-brown eyes and light hair. The Arima, however, had dark hair and eyes. And even if that wasn't enough, her Zanpakutō wouldn't have left any doubt.

"And can her memories be recovered?"

"Yes... But it would be a lengthy process. If her brain were given all that information at once, it would most likely kill her, aside from the psychological effects. However, only a day or so would be enough. But..."

I sensed what he was about to say next before he said it.

"But, only I know how to do this, as the procedure of memory removal and the updating of her gigai fell to me. However, it is fairly common knowledge, if you ask around, that under duress, the brain, or indeed a Shinigami's Zanpakutō, can access the locked memories when searching for a way out. After that opening of the floodgates, the recollections continue to trickle through, occasionally triggered by seemingly unimportant happenings or objects... Did the instruments, by any chance, double as those of torture?"

"Yes... yes, they did."

I thought _my_ brain was going to explode. I had so much more knowledge, and some things were clear, but it was still murky as to why Mitsuki had been recovered so easily.

Unless Mitsuki herself had told me, without even realising how right she was...

"_...maybe someone was meant to come here to take care of you, but they were held up somehow."_ I had never asked Urahara who this insider was. It was time to know. It was time to take them down. All of them.

"Who is the insider?"

Urahara was two steps ahead of me already.

"Someone powerful, high in the chain of command. And now we know: Lieutenant or Captain."

I knew them all by name. This betrayal cut deep (_but_ _not_ _as_ _deep_ _as_ _others..._ _as_ _hers_), it insulted everything we stood for, because no matter who started it, the Shimatsu had most definitely finished it. Their actions from start to finish had been appalling. If they knew they were in fact the victims, they should have explained to the Commander, followed the rules. He would not have denied them.

But they were hot-headed and not a little sinister, from what we had all seen. Genocide over one person? No, they had already had it in themselves to commit such acts, they had just needed the excuse.

"Is the Commander going to tell Hiroko that he knows who she is, and does she already know that the attempt failed?"

"I didn't know myself of the kidnapping; news does not travel that fast around the world," His voice was a strange mixture of sarcasm and regret. "And I suspect he will wait until tomorrow, during the meeting, when they are all present. I told him outright there was an insider, and he worked out for himself that they were powerful. They had to be. He probably wants to discover who it is. Otherwise, why would Lieutenants be present? This would surely be a strictly Captain matter."

"I concur. So..." I turned things over in my mind, deciding on a course of action. "I will have to attend the meeting to avoid raising suspicion. Could you make it here before then? I cannot risk taking Mitsuki into Seretei, and she needs protection."

"Yoruichi and I will be there in less than six hours. See you then, Hitsugaya."

I didn't correct him before he hung up about his lack of honorific: he had earned that much. I knew how unprepared I would have been without his help; I had never suspected Michiyo...

_She _had_ been looking at her daughter in that car, or so she thought. But she's so beyond sanity, she's willing to torture her to find out if she's her mother or not... And even if she is Tsubaki, what if she had never forgiven her for what she'd done? I wouldn't._

I sat down opposite Mitsuki, or Tsubaki as the case may be (it made too little difference to me. At the end of the day, she only had this life of memories, and the same things had happened), eyeing her peaceful half-hidden face. I knew she had been unhappy with her general exclusion from the goings on general neglect when it came to knowing what's what.

But how could I tell her all this? Her mother was all she had left. I knew the rest of her family had been just that – a family. Learning that they hadn't been who they had said they were was hard, and it destroyed most if not all the trust their bonds had been formed upon. It was simply distressing and mixed up your feelings about their demise. So how could I possibly tell her – your mother is also a fake, in the worst and most dangerous way possible... and your real mother is gone with all the others?

But I couldn't tell her nothing. I couldn't keep her in the dark... even though it would be easy. It would be so simple. Wait for Urahara, and leave for the meeting as if I knew nothing more.

However, I would feel so- so ashamed and guilty, like I had let her down. And if she ever found out, she would never be able to completely forget it, let alone forgive me. But if I told her right now, if I shook her arm and said "I think I know what's going on", she would be so distraught and in mourning, and so afraid to be let alone. I wouldn't be able to leave then...

I could have shed tears for her at that moment, if I had been able to. But ever since the whole Hinamori debacle, those sort of things had no longer come to me. I truly was a master of the ice. The cold, unfeeling, unemotional ice. But even taking that into account, I couldn't help but feel pity, sorrow and regret as I stared at that young girl's face. Because nothing in her world was the same any more, when she hadn't wanted it to change in the first place.

One by one, all the people close to her were leaving her, betraying her, or being taken away from her.

I merely hoped not to be one of them.

OOO

Arr, me hearties! Still liking? And by the way, a little titbit: Mitsuki is what I got when I translated my name into Japanese, and Michiyo is my mother's. I only just remembered xD

Also, did anyone see that coming? Any ideas on who this mysterious insider is? Hehe...

And I kept spelling Shimatsu 'Shitmatsu'...

See you next time!


	12. Lunacy

Sorry for the lateness, three very important things happened: I was abroad for a very important project. Then I had the end of school with my grades. And then, well, my LDR boyfriend (ehe :3) was here, so I literally haven't touched my laptop since I last updated. Enjoy!

Warning: naughty language ahead!

Disclaimer: "No... no he isn't mine. I didn't know he was for sale! Well, what's the guide price? ...Holy – two million! I don't have that kind of money! And you thought he _was_ mine? I'm flattered."

OOO

I woke up on my bed, again (whoops, I didn't mean to fall asleep at the kitchen table!), but this time there was sunlight coming in through my window. That meant afternoon at the earliest. I smiled, and then remembered that Tōshirō would be leaving for the meeting tomorrow... So the chances were I would be by myself or with strangers by tonight.

But still, I forced myself to keep on smiling. I sat up and looked down at myself. I needed a shower, so I picked out some clothes and grabbed a towel from the banister. I saw Tōshirō climbing in through the kitchen window out of the corner of my eye as I did so, and I stopped to consider the strange picture. When he looked up and noticed me I pointed in the general direction of the bathroom and mouthed 'shower', to which he nodded and indicated my room. I smiled and left the hallway, setting my things down on the counter and turning the shower on.

After waiting for it to heat up (this is Spain. Do you even know how unreliable things are here?) I stripped, shoved my pyjamas under my neatly folded towel and stepped under the warm spray. I adjusted the curtain hanging over the window (and made sure that the window was indeed locked) and the other curtain screening me from the door.

After half an hour, my skin was scrubbed pink and my hair was feeling like liquid silk it was coated in so much conditioner. I reached a hand behind my back and fiddled with the ends a few inches from my waist. I knew I needed a haircut. I shrugged and began to shave, because, frankly, being so hairy about my kind-of boyfriend made me downright uncomfortable. I hadn't been able to raise my arms in days.

I chuckled at the absurdity of worrying about underarm hair when my life was in danger. As I took down the shower-head to wash off my legs, I considered this change in disposition. Was I finally feeling a little more optimistic? Well, let's look at what's going OK:

One: Tōshirō. I don't really need to say more.

Two: I've missed a week of school. I was too busy running for my life, hiding, being kidnapped and then returned to safety. Go figure.

Three: Even if Tōshirō is leaving, I'll be protected.

Four: Once the meeting's over Mum might be coming back.

Five: While in Seretei, Tōshirō might discover who's chasing me or ratting me out from the inside and take care of them (whoop, go Tōshirō! I should start a fanclub).

Six: Even if that doesn't happen, once the Captains know the whole story they might start investigating and sort it out for me.

I tried as much as I could to think of more things that could be making me feel so good (relatively), but all that came to mind were the things that were bothering me, that weren't right... the things that, in essence, had changed my life – changed me.

One: My father is dead. My brother is dead. My sister is dead. (And many more might as well be, for all I'll see them.)

Two: They weren't my family in as many ways as I thought they were.

Three: I'm the crypt-keeper, at over three-hundred years old. Cougar, anyone?

Four: You know, all the strings that come attached with being centuries old, instead of under-age. Like memories.

Five: I was recently (okay, last night) kidnapped, drugged, and nearly tortured.

Six: I'm dead.

Seven: I'm the last of a dying race... And that sounded so Drama Queen. And we're not really a race anyway, just a clan. Which is a nicer way of saying 'extended family'.

Eight: More strings, this time related to genocide. Charming.

Nine: I still don't know who this mystery person with a lot of power and a grudge is.

Ten: NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER.

After looking at it like that, I honestly couldn't see why I would be feeling any better. Once this bad guy was dead (dead_er_) and I had my mother back, then maybe it would be acceptable. But now, when things were still just going from bad to worse in that unstoppable downward spiral? I must have hit my head.

But I was still catching myself smiling as I rinsed out my hair and felt the water on my face, breathing a deep sigh of contentment. I tried to shake myself into a place where I had some sense about me, rather than thinking that six had always been my favourite number, and that ten was Tōshirō's Division, so it wasn't too shabby either...

_Why? Why is being a little happier unacceptable, Mitsuki? Why is it a crime, a disease to be cured?_

Because it's not right. Because the dead deserve respect and mourning, and because I have way more reason to be _un_happy, I thought to myself. And then I shook my head. Talking to myself, really now? I've reached an all-time new low on the 'sanity' scale. I took another deep breath and reached for my towel, patting myself dry as I told myself that I had had traumatic experiences and was most likely a teensy bit unstable. I was bound to have ups and downs; bad and good moments.

As I got dressed, I started thinking about the boy waiting for me in my room.

_Do you love him, Eva?_

I moved in front of the steamed-up bathroom mirror close to the door. It was the largest we had in the house and spanned the whole length of the counter, also nearly reaching the ceiling. I wiped my hand over the surface, revealing my slightly red-cheeked face. I stared at myself, resting my hands on the edge of the counter-top. I wondered what I really saw, Eva or Mitsuki. One minute I was Japanese and running from my would-be killers, another I was British and wondering how much homework I would have to catch up on.

_Does Eva love Tōshirō? Or is it just Mitsuki?_

I realised then, at that moment, that whatever happened, I needed those memories. No matter how hard, how painful, how much it would make me question myself, my personality, my feelings – I had to know. I had to know who I was, what I had done, what I had seen, who I had left behind... I had to know myself. And I could hardly do that with most of my experiences locked up in a box.

And because all I had right now was him, and I needed to do this to truly accept him, to move on from what was before.

_You're actually pretty clever, Mitsuki._

I froze.

Sure, I'd talked to myself in my head before. I'd heard what I would sound like if I ever said something out loud, and occasionally I debated saying something so completely outrageous, horrible, or out of character, just to see someone's reaction. But this...

That hadn't been my voice. And it hadn't been me asking why being unhappy was bad, either.

I needed those memories because I kept on referring to myself as 'Eva', not as 'Mitsuki'. This voice, however, addressed me by my 'real' name. I struggled with the urge to glance over my shoulder, look around me, make sure I was alone. But I knew that this was all in my head, literally.

_A__sk_ _Tōshirō. Go, now, go ask him. _

I nearly ran out of the bathroom, collecting my stuff hurriedly and not bothering to hang out my damp towel. I rushed into my room and closed the door behind me, breathing a little too heavy and erratically. The figure stretched out rather cosily on my bed looked up at, tensing as he noticed my fear. He shot up and came to halt in front of me, posture vaguely protective.

"What is it?" He asked, voice harsh with urgency.

"Tōshirō, there's a voice, in my head," I blurted too loudly, before I stopped to consider how absolutely retarded I sounded.

A _voice in my head_... Jesus, Eva. You've heard that so many times – almost exclusively in bad films. Nice going. Now he'll think that you're a psycho with some substantial brain-damage, as well as loner with an identity crisis. Look, look at how he's staring at you. He can't believe the words just came out of your mouth. He's astounded. He knew you didn't have much going for you, but he did expect some sort of brain in that skull of yours. Now he knows that why you're being hunted down: you're an insult to the human race, supposedly dominant because of their intelligence.

I carried on in this self-detrimental manner for quite some time. Well... For maybe a minute. That is to say, until Tōshirō finally said something to me.

"What did it say?"

I hesitated.

"Well... It was just sort of replying to me, to some of my thoughts and feelings... I noticed because they didn't call me 'Eva'. And it wasn't _my_ voice, if you get me, it was some guy..."

I was sort of ashamed that I hadn't noticed a male voice running around my head before now. Oops...

He blinked. "And you didn't consider that it might be your Zanpakutō?"

That made me pause and stare right back at him. "They talk to you in your mind?" That made him frown.

"Mitsuki, how much exactly did your mother explain?"

"Well... She said that a Shinigami's sword has a spirit in it which helps you fight," I said slowly, watching his face. He was waiting for more, but that was all I knew. I felt embarrassed and glanced away as I turned red. Could I possibly be making myself look like _more_ of a fool?

"And that's it?" I nodded, still looking away from him. "Mitsuki... your Zanpakutō is a part of you, of your very soul. It is much more than a sword, a weapon. They are an integrate part of you, and your strength depends on the depth of your connection. This depth corresponds to releases, which change the aspect of your sword and unlock new abilities. There are two releases, Shikai and Bankai. This second and released state of Zanpakutō is very difficult to achieve... Once you have, you become a Captain."

I looked up at him, finally, wanting to show him that I was glad for him and impressed. He gave me a crooked smile and shrugged.

"Show-off," I murmured, "Boasting about being the youngest Captain since the Shinigami started..."

His eyebrow jerked up. "You knew that but didn't even know that Zanpakutō have their own voices?"

"How did you do it?" I asked, genuinely curious and avoiding his half-rhetorical question.

"Apart from training hard night and day? I just had a strong bond with Hyōrinmaru. Hence..."

He trailed off and gestured vaguely towards his head. I laughed at him, making him adopt a sour visage before breaking into a one-corner-of-my-mouth-is-uplifted smile.

"But... what's happening to me? Is my gigai getting too old? The... barrier breaking up?"

I looked down at myself. How absurd. I still had a child's passport, and yet here I was wondering if my body was deteriorating and pretty much at the end of its life. _I should be worrying about boys, grades, parties, make-up and friendships... not death, kidnappings, monsters, blood feuds and the afterlife_, I thought miserably, and not a little nostalgically. I sighed and looked up, finding a thoughtful and worried face.

"Perhaps. You can ask Urahara yourself once he arrives."

"When is he coming?"

"Any minute now... within the next two hours, maximum."

"...I'm not sure if I want him to come," I confessed, finding myself once again looking at my plain white wall instead of Tōshirō's face. There was a short, slightly uncomfortable silence as he looked at me and as I avoided him as much as humanly possible.

"I can't stay behind."

"I know", I said miserably. "I'm well aware of that, and I'm not complaining, I just..." I trailed off and shrugged. I started to turn away, feeling sorry for myself and lonely, when a hand shot out and landed on my right shoulder.

"Mitsuki..."

I would not cry. Hearing my name would not make me cry.

I shook my head at him, back still turned. "I don't want to start an argument. I just want you here, is all." I said quietly, closing my eyes for a long moment before shaking his hand off me and sitting down on my bed. I looked at him now, meeting his gaze because I wanted him to see that I wasn't pushing him away. I wasn't unapproachable.

I had made that mistake before, but people never seemed to really understand how I said _no_ when I meant _yes_, how I pushed away because I wanted them to try to hug me harder, how I ran because I wanted them to follow... and how all you needed was a little insistence to convince me. I had so far managed to quash this somewhat, and I wasn't stopping now. Feeling like not even Tōshirō understood me would be alienating and downright depressing. I would rather not give it any opportunities than see if he got me _that_ much just yet.

But compromise was all I could manage. I moved away and sat down, but I established a different link.

He came and sat down next to me, fiddling with his sleeve. I say 'fiddling', that's such an un-Tōshirō-like action... It was so slow and careful, it looked more like he was checking for faults in the stitching.

"I'm glad you want me around," He said finally, glancing up at me.

I leant forward and kissed him.

OOO

We had about an hour until Urahara showed up... I had to tell her now. I gently pulled away from Mitsuki and took a deep breath.

"Last night Urahara gave me a lot of information."

_Intelligent of you, now you have to _give_ a lot of information..._

I watched as her eyes widened. She closed her eyes for a long second, and then moved to lean against me. Once she was comfortable, she whispered: "Tell me."

"Mitsuki... Your clan, the Arima, were the ones who started the war."

I felt her breath stop. "What did we do?"

"You kidnapped the Shimatsu heir, Tsubaki. Her clan retaliated... And Tsubaki has still never been found. I also discovered that the Shimatsu clan head, Hiroko, is the one behind the hunt for you. She has been coordinating everything, and she does indeed have an insider in Seretei... Exactly who we thought."

She was silent for a long time, and I began to worry.

"Am I Tsubaki?"

_Holy – shit! _But I had to give the girl credit, she was intelligent. I shook my head, my chin resting on hers.

"Nobody knows exactly one-hundred percent which you are, not until Urahara arrives. But I am certain that you are Mitsuki."

She sighed against me, and mumbled a curse.

"Anything else?" She inquired in a weary voice.

"No."

It made me wince as I said it. I felt like such a liar...

"Tōshirō... you are a good liar, but I'm better. I know that you're not telling the truth."

It was true, the girl had a talent for it. It had worried me on occasion, but some things you could never fake. Some of her weakest moments had been the most revealing, and I had nearly always been there.

I hadn't wanted to tell her this, but maybe after my denial, she would understand why I had tried to avoid it.

"Mitsuki... You may have met Hiroko..."

"Please don't say she's Mum..."

Her voice was more pained than mine, wavering and changing pitch as she pleaded with me. I let my silence answer her, trying to avoid further agony.

"Oh God.." Her voice trailed away as she started sobbing, fingers clenching into fists as she gripped onto the front of my shirt. I let her cry as I tried to show her that I was still here, but I knew it to be cold comfort: I would be gone in a few short hours... I felt my own resolve and faith weaken as I was forced to listen to suffering personalised. "Why?" She asked me, herself, whomever she believed in. "Why me?" I heard it escape between the gasps and shudders and honestly couldn't answer her question. Once she was quiet enough for me to be heard, I whispered into her ear.

"I'm so sorry, Mitsuki..."

"No," She sniffed. "Call me Eva. Eva is all I have ever known and I feel like her. Mitsuki means nothing to me. I could obviously be someone else, and not her anyway."

I nodded slowly, wondering if Eva was who she wanted to be, really. Wondering if Aaron was who she really wanted... not me.

"Okay, so, all of my family died and they were killed by Hiroko, who took Mum's place... Did she organise the kidnapping?"

"We assume so..."

"Did she want to find out who I am?" I winced. For a second, I wished fervently that things had been different, including a swap between her intelligence for dull stupidity. Then I wouldn't have to answer any questions like this, because she would never have thought them.

"If it was her, most probably."

"I heard him talking to someone," She said quietly after a minute of sitting together in silence. "On the way. I never saw her, but it was a woman..." She must have sneaked back, but why she would do something so risky was beyond me. "The guy who took me was a freak... He couldn't wait to torture me."

Fuck_. She knew all along...?_

Kami... This girl had more mettle than I realised. Even if she did cry too much for my tastes, she took everything better than most probably would. "So she was making sure her leash was tight enough."

"I think so. She had no other reason to be there, as she surely didn't intend to participate in the torture. Do you know why they were going to? I mean, I have been wondering about why they didn't just kill me. I assumed that they were sadistic enough to want to cause me pain first, but maybe..."

"Pain might have lowered the barriers, revealed who you are."

"Oh... It all makes sense, somehow, doesn't it?" She said slowly as she mulled things over. Then she sighed and tilted her head up to look at me. I met her gaze. "Thank you. I understand why you didn't want to tell me, but I'm glad to know. What if she comes back, and I'd had no idea?"

"Hmm. But, even so, do you wish I hadn't? It just makes things harder..."

I was unconvinced. She shook her head. "No. And not harder. I already knew my life was never going to be the same again. I'm never going to sit in my classroom again, see my friends again, see my bother or sister or father again, I knew I would never see my 'homeland' again, none of it. This is just another step in the new direction, that's all. I just want to get out of this alive, and at least... this way, I mean, I'm not glad they died, but this might be more of a... clean break. Maybe having nothing from my previous life will make it easier to move on... Because I fully intend to survive this. It doesn't matter to me how many people want me dead or the extremes they go to to achieve it... This is my life...

"And no matter how deformed and mangled it is now, I'm not giving it up. Not now... Not ever," She finished, relief showing a little on her face. I realised that her confusion had dissipated somewhat with this conclusion.

I smiled at her. It must be hard not to just decide to give up. Then I prepared myself to ask her a question that had been running around in my head for a while.

"M..." I coughed. "Eva, what would you choose, if you could? Who would you chose?"

She went still and silent. I hoped I wasn't starting another round of crying.

"I haven't actually considered it. Rain-check?"

I got the distinct feeling that she didn't want to say anything hurtful, and then realise later that that wasn't how she actually felt. I shrugged with a nonchalance I didn't really feel.

"Of course."

She did a hesitant smile in the general direction of my neck. I abruptly remembered Hisamuko and told Mitsuki that I would be just outside the window, and would be right back. She nodded and seemed rather shocked when my gigai suddenly collapsed onto her. At her gasp I glanced back over my shoulder to see her beetroot red and my gigais head most definitely resting where her chest should have been visible. I felt a mixed surge or embarrassment, jealousy and amusement.

Then it turned into something harder to define, because I was there for far too long before she blushed harder and looked around, as if hoping to get some evidence of me not actually being there in the room. She gently pulled me back up and manoeuvred my head onto her shoulder. Face still pink, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"So embarrassing..."

I heard her mutter. Did she mean my accidental groping or her reaction, quite a ways out from rejection?

I chuckled and turned towards the window, leaping through the double-glazing easily and landing on the sill. I called to Hisamuko and was rewarded with his form appearing in front of me almost immediately. I wondered what he had possibly seen, and I was surprised when I realised how little I cared. It was about as much as I cared the time that Matsumoto spilt nail-varnish over Kuchiki's hair for a dare. I had been chastised, as her Captain, which I had minded, but the comic value had helped me sleep afterwards.

As I asked my Third Seat for any news, I had a hard time keeping a small smile from playing across my face.

Dammit. You _sap_, Hitsugaya!

OOO

I've suddenly realised that the ending I had planned for this story is rather... well. I can't say too much, but what would you guys like to happen? Anything goes. I'm actually thinking of posting various different endings, some 'better' than others. Ideas are welcome :) And if I do decide on only one ending and don't post the others, I'll put the other rejected possibilities in an A/N.

I realised that this was meant to be _Eva's_ story, not Hitsugaya's, so I tried to keep it in her POV for most of the chapter. Also, I know this miiiight seem filler, filler and more talking (goodness! More talking!) but it's actually really important. I hope you enjoyed :)

Ciao.


	13. Trials and Clogs

The first part of this chapter was originally included in the last one, but I moved it to here so that the other one would seem more filler xD And in any case, I'm pretty sure this is the longest chapter we've ever had. Extra early, too! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I can't think of anything amusing. All my creative juices have been wasted on this collection of chapters that basically mess around with Hitsugaya Tōshirō's head. Ta-ta.

OOO

I was quickly discovering that Kisuke Urahara was one of the most eccentric people in the world.

He had arrived through my bedroom window in a stripy hat, clogs, and a coat. And a black cat. And a cane. And a slightly perturbing mischievous grin on his face. He had greeted me like and old friend and talked like a girl whose seven-year-old voice I remembered for being slightly masculine.

"Hey, Mitsuki-chan! Let's check that suit of yours!"

I had wanted to tell him not to call me that, but I had a sneaking suspicion that he wouldn't listen anyway.

The cat talked too, with a deeper and rougher voice, even though she was female. And she transformed into a tall, beautiful, dark-skinned, purple-haired, light-eyed woman with nice legs and a bare arse. Actually, make that a bare everything. I stared at her as Tōshirō squawked and turned around, telling her to get some clothes on and to stop doing that.

I wasn't impressed. Mainly because of who was in the room.

And then she told me that she'd been brainstorming with Urahara about the whole fandango and that she really needed a dress. I shrugged and leant her a black strappy one that was about six sizes too big for me and that I only wore around the house. She thanked me and told me as she was shimmying into it that she believed that I had outgrown my gigai and was as such 'stuck', or that it had malfunctioned. As soon as this came out of her mouth, Urahara leapt forward and shoved the heel of his hand into my forehead.

"_What the_- ouch, god dammit!" I shrieked, holding the front of my head as Urahara put on a thinking voice and held his chin. He brought out a fan and held it over the bottom half of his face. The thing didn't match his black Goth glove, which appeared to have a flaming skull on it, as best I could tell from between my fingers.

"Tōshirō, please tell me they have a serious side." I muttered to him, hand still rubbing the sore spot on my forehead.

He just looked at me out of the side of his eye and smirked slightly. "Stop pouting."

"Only if they stop behaving like lunatics," I retorted, keeping my voice down.

"Okay, people, I think we're going to have to run some tests..."

_Tests? _I wondered. _Tests... ugh._

"What sort of tests?" Tōshirō asked, arms crossed.

"Oh, nice tests. Painless tests. They would just be to see what has gone wrong since your last re-haul," replied Urahara, looking at me now.

"How long is that?"

He adopted the I'm-trying-to-be-all-mysterious voice again. "Only a few decades, that's why it is so confusing... all of your suits are custom-built for you. They are my most advanced models, to date the only gigai that I have developed which age and replicate _all _bodily functions, including things like an irregular heartbeat or hiccups."

He could've skipped out that last one, right? But then again, at least he didn't say "basically you breathe, eat and shit"

"You mean you made the illusion all the more convincing."

"Mitsuki, you yourself chose to live every other life cycle without any memories."

My mouth opened slightly as I considered this. So my memories would come back, or could be called back.

I tried to figure out what I would do, Eva, I mean. I wanted to see how much I was actually like myself. If we made the same choices, did the same things, had the same philosophies... I was morbidly curious as to how I might act if I was Mitsuki.

And then suddenly I get an idea.

"Urahara, are you going to try and get my memories back?"

Urahara shrugs as he waves his fan around. "I don't see how that would help in any case if we can't get you out of that gigai."

Tōshirō frowned at the madman. "I thought you said it was risky and needed an incantation?"

"It is and it does, my little Captain friend. However, the incantation is placed upon this special glove... Although I suppose whatever changed must also have rendered this redundant." And with a flourish he took off his glove. He even put down his fan on my desk and looked at me seriously. "I'll go and look around, investigate a little. Call me when you're going, Hitsugaya."

We both nodded and the other two moved away and out of the room, closing the door, leaving us staring at each other with a foot between us. I frowned at him unhappily. He looked apologetic as he took my hand and pulled me down to sit next to him on the bed. I was reminded of the first time we kissed – only days ago! It seemed like years – as he settled down next to me, cross-legged. I slipped off my trainers so I could curl my legs up onto the bed. He pulled me to lean against his shoulder and I looked at the collar of his shirt, watching his chest rise and fall.

Then I remembered Urahara's gigais, and felt alienated as I realised that we were both just sitting in suits. There was suddenly so much distance between us and I reached for his side, lowering my face until I could smell him.

Was this really his scent? I remembered it vaguely, but it might all just be a fabrication. Of course, someone who doesn't smell of anything is really weird.

I wondered how much better it would be if we weren't wrapped up like this. I wanted to kiss him with nothing in between. I wanted his real lips, real eyes, a proper hug... I sighed. I wondered if I would ever be able to have a proper relationship with this boy. It was funny, I had never truly respected the sort of girls who did things with boys that they barely knew... I _had_ changed.

Tōshirō's question, I remembered it now. '..._if you could, who would you choose?'_

What would I do if Hiroko was taken down, and the insider too? If the choice was actually left up to me... I had spent so much time being told what to do (mainly "stay here") I hadn't really considered my future and what I would like to do with it now. Apart from, of course, regaining my memories. But would I go to Seretei? Would I try to integrate back into my old life, if I even could? Would I visit my friends, tell them about this tragedy, all my family dying in a 'car crash', and then tell them I was going to live with relatives?

Suddenly I missed all my old friends terribly, remembering a smile here, a laugh there, a yawn...

Would I visit Aaron again? Would I do that to him, and me? ...And Tōshirō?

No, I shook my head. As much as I wished it was otherwise, no matter how I sliced the situation, I couldn't have both. It was the past (my friends, my family, Aaron) or the present and future (my real identity, my memories, Seretei, Tōshirō). And no one should live in the past.

"I choose you," I told him quietly. "I think I always knew I was going to chose you. I felt guilty for choosing someone I haven't known that long, truly don't know that well, over people that were my family for years, friends for years..."

"Love-interest for years," He finished for me. I chuckled lowly.

"That makes it sound so grown-up, like a character in a book."

"It wasn't a crush, though, was it?"

I sighed and shifted. "No, it wasn't, but..." I gathered my courage and looked up at him. I was trying to tell him that I hadn't liked Aaron, I had _loved_ him, and that I cared for Tōshirō more than I could say right now. I hadn't known him very long, true, but that was no factor when it came to emotions. And as much as it might have been better to never feel this way, it was totally out of my control, and I didn't regret it for a second.

He smiled. I thought he understood, but knew that I would find out later anyway. I looked at him as he leant down rubbed noses with me, still smiling. I laughed shakily and pushed him away.

"Now go and kill the bad people, and then come back here to me."

He sneaked forward for a kiss and I indulged him before firmly making sure he was away from me. As I watched him leave, taking his gigai this time, I thought how anti-climatic this all was. I thought that there was meant to be tears and tense music. Instead I'd told him to bugger off and go and risk his life on my behalf.

Well. I supposed it was actually his job, so that meant a clear conscience for me.

"Now, Mitsuki-chan, it's time for those fun tests I told you about!" Urahara burst into speech as he shoved his way into my room, possibly breaking my door in the process.

"Yep, good times," I said with a hint of cheerful sarcasm.

OOO

I had never been so cautious entering what I considered to be my home. I found myself automatically treading lightly and slowly, aiming for stealth. I had no idea what I was expecting, to hear an evil cackle from around the corner? To stop and glance around the corner like those human films? I shook my head in self-disgust. I needed to act _normal_.

I needed to act like I felt nothing for Mitsuki, like I suspected nothing, like I was at ease and simply enjoying a break from my mission.

No one could be trusted. I couldn't reveal anything. I had to put my poker face on and keep it there, at least until it was too late and we were all locked inside a room with the Commander. Because then, there would be no escape.

How would she act, he wondered. Would she ignore his presence because they shouldn't really know each other, would she perhaps wave, or would she smile and act as if they were best friends? He knew that the last option was entirely possible, because she was a good manipulator and an outstanding liar, and a seconds hesitation from him – especially at a crucial moment, like her escape attempt – was all she would need. She would either get past him or slip through his guard to take care of him.

But she had no idea how deep in shit she truly was. In fact, Tōshirō was quite unconcerned about her fate. He found himself more preoccupied with Mitsuki's, but he knew that Urahara would have answers for him soon. And once they all knew just who exactly she was, Commander would make one offer or another, and Mitsuki could decide her future.

He wouldn't deny her anything. Even if, when push came to shove, she chose her old life, he would do nothing to complain. How could he? She deserved control and freedom, like anyone else.

But he trusted her, he supposed, to not have lied to him with her answer just an hour ago.

He started to flash-step. Arriving at his Division, he quickly checked his paperwork, signed a few urgent documents that Matsumoto had been charged to send to him this week during his mission, and then poked his Lieutenant awake. She flailed about a little about having a man in her room, before Tōshirō reminded her that _he _had always been the one protesting her having males in her bedroom. She was adamant, but he let the injustice slide because she was severely hungover (how she did it in such a short period of time he didn't want to know) and he didn't need that right now. He focused on telling her to get ready for the meeting, and then explained lowly Urahara's information. Matsumoto nearly fell off the bed in horror.

"What a shame..." Her musical voice commented, and Tōshirō knew that she was referring to Mitsuki's life. This was confirmed as she went on. "Young intelligent girls like that usually do have everything to lose, except they don't."

He knew she was thinking of herself... of Hinamori. He shrugged in reply and left her to get change into clothes that didn't stink of alcohol and sweat – she had clearly gone into one of her favourite seedy bars.

Half and hour later and they had finally arrived in front of First Division. Tōshirō was in fact early, but he assumed that Yamamoto wanted to talk to him. He hadn't written a report because of the sensitive nature, and with the insider, nothing was ever going to be written down. Although they hadn't spoken of this meeting either, Tōshirō knew his leader well enough. He wouldn't be surprised if the next twenty minutes turned into and investigation, if he himself was suspect. Yamamoto had never been knocked off his pedestal, and he did his job very well.

Everyone was indeed innocent until proven guilty, but if something arose, you and and everyone else could be responsible or an enemy. It wasn't that Yamamoto didn't trust his subordinates, but he kept a cool head and was detached.

Tōshirō, who hadn't bothered to hide as he entered the building, left Matsumoto behind as made his way through the large assembly hall and into Yamamoto's reception area. As he arrived, Yamamoto's Fourth Seat – his name escaped Tōshirō, though he recognised him and nodded – waved him through into Yamamoto's office.

"He's been expecting you," The man said as he went back to fiddling away behind his desk. Tōshirō wondered if he was late.

He knocked twice on the door before entering. He looked up and saw Yamamoto alone standing in front of a window to his right. The old man didn't turn around, but when he spoke his voice was heavy.

"It seems I took the wrong course of action, Hitsugaya-Taichou."

Said Captain waited for the Commander to elaborate. Was he talking about leaving Mitsuki alone? Had something already happened? Tōshirō felt a rising tide of panic.

"I should have dedicated more to finding the Shimatsu survivors... No, I should have exiled them long before they started murdering the innocent."

Tōshirō was surprised. He hadn't known that there had been any indication of the Shimatsu being a bit iffy before the blood feud.

"They had already shown questionable behaviour?"

He had been in his job too long; he now had the ability of making anything sound better than it was. Could 'treason, murder, kidnapping, torture, and all around insanity' be put any more reasonably than 'questionable behaviour'? Tōshirō doubted it.

"Yes, but we turned a blind eye. It was only a few instances, and they insisted that it was those individuals, who were dealt with accordingly."

Ouch.

"What sort of crimes were they?"

"Mostly petty. Theft, bribery... but no less than a week before it all started, an adolescent was found in one of the poorest districts, assaulting a young girl."

Yamamoto didn't need to say what sort of assault it was, nor did he need to confirm that it was a male who had done this. Tōshirō swallowed his disgust and the harsh comment that surfaced. He listened very intently as he watched the older man's back.

"Someone so young had only been out of the Shimatsu compound twice... His actions showed a deep-rooted problem within the clan. I suspected that most of the clan was corrupt at this point, and began an investigation... But I was too late to save the Arima." He finally turned around and walked towards his large desk, sitting down. He looked up at Tōshirō. "I had had no doubt that it was the Shimatsu that killed Mitsuki, but now that the child is possibly alive it makes it entirely possible that the Shimatsu merely invented this excuse."

He gestured for Tōshirō to sit down, which he did slowly as he thought.

"But there was a reason that they targeted the Arima. There has to be, and they also wanted to remain in Seretei. They were deluded, but they definitely believed their enemies to be responsible for something."

"Perhaps they _did _kidnap Shimatsu Tsubaki, but only to protect her. As I recall, her and Arima Mitsuki were in the same Academy class and they trained together."

It made sense. "Then perhaps that was why the Arima put forward that Mitsuki had died; when in fact they must have known that they were going to war. But why they did so... They were outnumbered and outclassed."

Yamamoto leant forward and rested his elbows on his desk.

"And that is where I truly made my mistake, Hitsugaya-Taichou. I was unwilling to act unless things had been proven. I should have gone with my instincts and protected the Arimas, who had never shown any signs of instability."

Yamamoto had that smooth talking ability too, 'instability' was almost as good as 'questionable behaviour'

"You could not have known, Yamamoto-sama. Although it is regrettable, not much else could have been done."

"It is true that once I began to see that they would stop at nothing, we intervened and began protecting those we could and fighting off the Shimatsu. But we were already too late: they had mobilised so quickly."

There was silence for a minute, and Tōshirō knew that he was reliving the events in his mind. He was glad that it had all been before his time; no doubt it would have given him nightmares.

"In any case, we need to know if the Arima is indeed that. Once she recovers her memories, we can ask her for her account for events. It may even be that Tsubaki told her about her clan and consented to being taken away."

"If so, I pity her. I would not want the deaths of so many on my shoulders."

It was as I said it that I realised that Yamamoto considered the deaths on his, because his reaction to my innocent reply was a slow nod and the tension that had surrounded him lessened.

"Someone so young must not have accepted the extent of the corruption in her clan. In any case, we must move on from the past and consider the present," Yamamoto changed subject fluidly. I nodded in agreement.

"As you may have guessed, I worked with Urahara and had sent three separate groups to him for protection and relocation. It had been too risky to keep them here in Seretei because of the survivors of the Shimatsu clan, and we suspected that others from outside were working with them... A suspicion that was not misplaced, it seems. However, I did not know whom I had managed to save, because I could not meet with them. It was perhaps better not to know.

"Things began to decline after two hundred years, when Urahara began reporting to me that one group had vanished. Another fifty years passed, and he reported the second group had been attacked and that only one had survived, and was being sent to relocate near the other group. For safety reasons, the third group was not informed of this. As a result, they have been followed from a distance for a long time by the remainder."

_What? _My mouth nearly dropped open. Instead I just managed to contain my reaction to a widening of my eyes.

Yamamoto paused. "I take it that you did not know this?"

I shook my head mutely, before clearing my throat and speaking. "No," was all I managed to say. _Who could it be? _I wondered.

"It seems now that Shimatsu Hiroko had been working her way towards Arima Michiyo for some time. I have no doubt that she is who I met yesterday. She will face the consequences of what she has done."

I agreed whole-heartedly with this last statement. "And what of the insider? Urahara spoke as if there is only one."

"There used to be seven, but I discovered their identities before long, except for the last one, who evaded me. But now, I think I know."

At this point Yamamoto turned his eyes towards me very slowly and gave me an intense, pointed look, but kept silent. It was then that I realised who had been missing from this meeting: his Lieutenant, Chōjirō Sasakibe. The man had even been present when other Lieutenants hadn't been allowed, he was practically a Captain. My heart sank, because Yamamoto had trusted this man.

As the full implications of another betrayal this deep into the centre of the Gotei Thirteen hit me, I winced inwardly. Yamamoto wasn't going to take this lightly and would probably tighten his iron grip. And any relationship with Mitsuki would no doubt be frowned upon, at the very least... At worst, it would be forbidden. The Commander surely wasn't going to allow something so 'frivolous'

But maybe he would show a little kindness to her, a little lenience.

Perhaps.

OOO

My breath was slightly quickened, but I was no longer afraid, or even nervous.

Shimatsu Hiroko was about to pay. There was no escaping it now, and I had no doubts that the Commander General alone could take her down, as well as his own Lieutenant. With all of us here, it was impossible.

In fact, the only thing that concerned me about this meeting at all was if Hiroko would say something about Mitsuki and I. Any damage right now wasn't exactly what we needed. But on the other hand, the woman wasn't to be trusted, and if I saw a negative reaction, I could deny it. And Mitsuki would understand.

Of course she would.

I watched Yamamoto's face, deliberately avoiding staring at the man standing behind him. I glanced around at the other Captains.

Kuchiki was going to love this.

My gaze returned to the other end of the hall, were Shimatsu (clothed in Shinigami garb, even though she was still in her gigai, probably to hide her distinctive features) was being led through some side doors. She had two Shinigami keeping pace with her, but she was not bound in any way. They looked more like bodyguards than watchdogs. She walked quite slowly and calmly, her eyes met mine as she started passing through us, but she didn't react. She sat down carefully in the chair facing Yamamoto, in the midst of us.

Trapped.

But Shimatsu Hiroko was totally unaware of this as she looked up at Yamamoto calmly. Her two guards, who had stood either side of her chair, now moved fast as they acted in unison to perform a strong binding Kidō. Shimatsu Hiroko looked down in surprise as the blue chains slithered around her arms and even around her stomach, a look which turned to disbelief and horror as she started feeling the drain on her reiatsu. Her eyes looked back up at Yamamoto, but after a second I realised she was actually looking at Chōjirō.

_He can't help you now... _

I saw the traitor's fear in my periphery as four more guards appeared behind him and performed the same incantation, leading him to stand next to his co-conspirator. I saw the reactions of my fellows: some watched without comment, stoic; others froze in shock; some merely raised an unconcerned eyebrow; and a couple of Lieutenants let out little gasps. I ignored this and watched with a little relish as his Zanpakutō was taken away. It was quite symbolic; touching another's 'soul' was either very taboo or very intimate.

The guards then dragged the gigai off her, and I saw how uncomfortable it must have been for the tall woman. Her hair was particularly red and her eyes a cat yellow. Her skin was much paler and, on the whole, she looked nothing like Arima Michiyo.

Shimatsu Hiroko's eyes found mine, and I stared at her dispassionately as Yamamoto began to speak.

"Gotei Thirteen, we are here to discuss the fate of Shimatsu Hiroko and the traitor who aided her in the murder of all the remaining Arima survivors," Yamamoto's voice was strong and hinted at contained fury, but it didn't escape my notice that he couldn't bring himself to say Chōjirō's name. "As we all witnessed, the Shimatsu clan launched a genocide campaign against the Arima clan. Only two dozen survived, including who we believe to be Arima Michiyo and her daughter, Arima Mitsuki, the heir of the clan."

"I had coordinated with Urahara Kisuke to relocate the survivors onto Earth in three separate groups who had no contact with each other."

Nobody asked why they hadn't remained here; the reason was staring at them all in turn.

"However, a number of insiders had been working with what we suspect to be the sole Shimatsu left," Here he nodded towards Hiroko, who by now had sweat on her forehead and white knuckles from gripping the chair arms too hard. "There were seven, and soon six had been discovered; I am sure you can guess who they were."

There was a chorus of nods and murmured agreement. There had been a total of six executions in the last three centuries that hadn't been Shimatsu.

"But one remained, my own Lieutenant, Chōjirō Sasakibe. He aided Shimatsu Hiroko in locating the Arima around Earth. It was only this last week that Shimatsu found Arima Michiyo. She murdered the clan head and as of today, we have a possible two survivors left: the heir, Arima Mitsuki, and another survivor from another group. However, Arima Mitsuki has had her recollections locked away so as to lead a normal human life, made possible by Urahara Kisuke's modified gigai. This also means that she cannot leave and thus prove her identity, and Shimatsu Hiroko also managed to masquerade as her victim for days before coming here, still using the name Arima Michiyo."

At this point Yamamoto paused, inviting questions. I didn't recognise the voice, but I recognised the inquiry:

"Why didn't she take care of Arima Mitsuki?"

Yamamoto nodded. "While we have no conclusive proof that she is indeed Arima Mitsuki, we also don't know if she is in fact Shimatsu's daughter, Tsubaki. As you all recall, she was the starting point of the feud. We believe that she consented to be taken into protection by the Arima."

More signs of agreement.

"Therefore, Shimatsu came here to be exempt from suspicion as she coordinated with her insider an attack on the child, but as I called this assembly, Chōjirō Sasakibe was not able to leave and take care of the guards who rescued her, led by Tenth Division Captain."

I nodded this time and spoke up.

"I had been sent on a mission on Earth following an usually high rate of attacks by Hollows. As it turned out, I had been placed close to the survivors and was called in to protect them once Shimatsu contacted Seretei and informed them that they were being 'chased' by the Shimatsu."

I saw little reaction to this, and decided not to bore with details of the rescue.

"Hitsugaya-Taichou also reported an unusual Hollow with holes in its mask; a technique of Chōjirō Sasakibe. It was at this point that I suspected something was amiss, and I contacted Urahara who confirmed my suspicions.

"And now, it is time to sentence Shimatsu Hiroko and Chōjirō Sasakibe. Do you have anything in your defence?"

A few beats of silence.

"What are you going to do to her if she is my daughter?"

The voice was quiet, but unmistakable. I was somewhat surprised that Hiroko was concerned at all (she _had_ arranged to have her tortured), but it seemed that she did have some latent humanity in there somewhere.

"She will not be harmed, and if she so chooses, she will be accepted back into Seretei."

The woman nodded. "Then I have nothing more to say."

Yamamoto turned towards Chōjirō, but he didn't need to ask again and the man seemed to know that there was no point in defending himself.

"Then you are hereby sentenced to execution for sedition, treason, torture," –here he turned towards his Lieutenant– "Murder, conspiracy and aiding and abetting fugitives. This order will be carried out tomorrow at 0800 hours."

Yamamoto banged his staff against the floor, and it was over.

I turned my head back to look at them as they were being led away, Shimatsu Hiroko had her head held high, but Chōjirō looked simply terrified and was crying silently. I stopped a sneer and lead Matsumoto out of the assembly room.

_It was over_, I repeated to myself.

I turned to my Lieutenant. "Matsumoto, I'm going back to Earth. You have to stay here and do paperwork."

I glared at her to contradict or disobey me, but for once, she didn't argue. She looked a little like a kicked puppy as she placed a hand on my shoulder for a second. "Just be there, Taichou."

She didn't need to say for who.

OOO

I know that a lot of this chapter is Yamamoto explaining as succinctly as possible what you already know, but can't make it any shorter. I'll try to get the next chapter out soon!

And were you all surprised by who the insider was? I chose him because we barely see him, so it was more plausible.

I hope you enjoyed. Ciao.


	14. Intimacy, Much?

Hello again (: I'm really not sure how many chapters are left, maybe say three/two more and an epilogue? I honestly expected this to reach 12 chapters, but here we are at fourteen! And sorry for the delay, but we're nearly finished! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: For the fourteenth time this fic alone, _no_.

OOO

"So, what are my options?"

"Well, you can either leave your gigai now that I've altered the incantation, and from your dazzling looks we'll know who you are; or we can proceed directly to recovering your memories, a process which takes a day or two, but the initial surge will be the most basic information: who you are, your earliest memories, your family, and, while patchy, from then on it's pretty much going from your oldest recollections to your most recent."

I nodded slowly.

In a way, I wanted to get my memories back as soon as possible, but I knew it would make my loss all the more fresh and twice as deep: suddenly these would be people I had known centuries. I also just wanted immediate gratification, and I thought that being out of my gigai would be a nice surprise for Tōshirō... plus, he really needed to know what I looked like. So did I, for that matter.

I looked back up at Urahara. "I want to leave my gigai."

He nodded, and Yoruichi smiled in the background where she was leaning against my living room wall with her arms crossed.

This was the first time I had been in here since their deaths. I could see my brother's Nintendo DS out of the corner of my eye, the dip in our IKEA sofa where my father had always sat and the pictures on all the walls, chosen by my mother: Klimpt. Even my sister, gone for two years now, had left her mark: the cream-coloured walls she had insisted on when Dad had wanted blue.

I stopped thinking about it. I had to.

_Let them go._

I watched with a little apprehension as Urahara approached me, glove again sitting innocently over his palm and fingers.

"I think that she tampered with it when she drugged you, but that was probably intentional, to try and stop me. Such a shame she failed."

And with that, his hand went right through my forehead. After my panic, I had a second of movement – falling, I think – and blurred colours, before everything went black.

OOO

I was lying somewhere, but it wasn't my floor. It was softer and it smelt like grass.

In fact, I had known something was off straight away because I had been lying face down, when I should have definitely been lying face _up_. I could smell dirt in my nostrils and a hard lump under my thigh, but there was also fresh air and running water. I was wearing oddly loose clothes and what seemed to be socks and sandals.

I should have felt terrified, but somehow I knew that I had nothing to fear here. Still, I lay immobile for a long minute before I finally lifted myself up and opened my eyes.

And came face to face with a wolf.

I tilted my head as he did what could only be explained as observed me. His eyes were a sharp, clear blue, and his fur snow white. He was sitting calmly, looking as inoffensive as possible as his ear left ear twitched once and then lay still. I had had a dog once, a German Shepherd, so I should have been able to read his mood well enough... but this wolf was acting like no wild animal I had seen before. It was too rigid, and he wasn't giving off any signs.

I supposed that meant it was safe to take my eyes off him.

Glancing around, I saw we were on a mountain, snow capped and ringed with clouds, with a clear river running down its side. I was only twenty feet away from the snow, but there were trees (a root of one was what had been bruising my leg) and grass thriving here anyway, and it wasn't cold. I was in a strange green patch among all the ivory. I glanced the other way, and saw clouds. I shakily got to my feet and made my way towards them, running my hand through the white air that seemed more insubstantial the closer I got. My hand came away a little icy and cold, perhaps a little damp, but it hadn't felt like a giant candyfloss, as I had always imagined.

"You did that the first time you came here. I remember that you were disappointed."

I glanced around, confirming that there was no human that had snuck up on me, before turning back to the wolf. He was still sitting the same as before, but his eyes were still following me.

Not a normal wolf then.

"You're my Zanpakutō, aren't you?" He inclined his head, and at that I walked towards him. Carefully, I reached out and placed a hand upon his head. "I'm sorry I left you alone."

He was still looking up at me, but at that, his tail gave a few gentle wags and his ears twitched forwards. I knelt and scratched behind his ear, and his furry body moved to sit itself next to me as he pressed his side against my front. I hugged him and knew that I recognised his otherworldly smell, even more so than his voice, which I had heard in my family bathroom.

Eventually, he looked up at me.

"Go, Mitsuki. Once you recover your memories, you'll be able to come here again."

"You have a very good English accent," I smiled as I stroked his thick fur once more.

"Everything you know, I know," He replied simply as he moved away. He started plodding upwards into the snow. I stood and called out to him.

"Wait! What's your name?"

He turned to look back at me a moment. "My name is in Japanese, and once you are able to understand it, you will also already know it."

_I'm stupid, aren't I?_

I just nodded mutely, and was about to ask how I was to get back, when the answer came to me. I closed my eyes and thought about it – where I wanted to go back to. I smiled slightly as my sense of gravity changed, and I was lying on cold hard marble floor with something digging into my back as voices spoke over me.

"What happened?"

A voice was asking, tone harsh.

"Nothing happened, she has simply gone to see her Zanpakutō, that is all."

There was silence, and then I opened my eyes. Tōshirō and Urahara were standing over me, with Yoruichi standing in the background. The woman said "I told you there was nothing to worry about." I looked to my right, and there was my body, still wearing jeans and a black jacket. In a way, that old life was contained in that form. There was no going back.

_Goodbye, Eva._

My eyes found Tōshirō's as he helped me up. I tore my gaze away as I looked down at myself, seeing Shinigami clothes. I knew I was feeling the weight of my sheathed blade on my back.

I abruptly staggered and closed my eyes as I got a rush of information from senses that had been dead a good fourteen years. I felt energy simply _everywhere_, movement I didn't know how to describe, the presence at my back and the three people in the room with me... I could _sense_ them. I just knew they were still there.

I opened my eyes and smiled at Tōshirō, who wasn't in his gigai at all.

It hadn't done him justice, really. There were a myriad of small scars over his eyes and a few on his face that hadn't been there, and his eyes were a slightly different shade – more green. Even his hair was more upright than I remembered. He had his sword exactly like mine, over his back, and the Shinigami clothes looked good on him, though the sleeves and legs were going to look a little ridiculous on everyone.

"I want to lie down," I said to the room in general.

That meant _I want to be alone with Tōshirō._

"We can start with your memories whenever you're ready," Urahra informed me, but I barely cared.

I looked around the room as I left, and as I looked at the hallway and the bedrooms, I knew I couldn't stay here. This wasn't my life any more. It was only ever Eva who had lived here, not Mitsuki. I glanced back, glad that Tōshirō had known to follow me.

I arrived in my old room. Without thinking about it, I took off my sword and placed it on my desk, before throwing myself down on my bed. I waited, face down, for Tōshirō to join me. I heard his footsteps as he came closer, and felt how carefully he lowered himself so that he was on the bed. I turned my head towards him and opened one eye. He was lying on his side, propped up on his elbow.

"Is she dead?"

"Not yet. She will be tomorrow morning."

"And the insider?"

"Same fate."

I let us lapse into silence as I moved forward and rested my head under his. He smelt so nice, and his body was much warmer than I remembered it being. I inhaled silently and felt him move his arm from lying on his side to over mine.

"Do I get to choose?"

"Yes."

"What do I look like?"

"Much the same... Your jaw is a little rounder."

I let a few beats pass before gently kissing his collarbone. "I want to go back with you."

_Let them all go._

He nodded, and didn't say anything more as he gathered me closer towards him and let me sleep, even as a few final tears escaped my eyes as I thought of the people I was leaving behind.

_Goodbye, all of you..._

OOO

I had waited until the next afternoon to begin recovering my memories. I had planned to do it in the morning, but Tōshirō informed me as soon as I woke up that Hiroko had died little less than an hour ago. The woman wearing the face of my mother seemed so far away now. But after this revelation I hadn't felt like moving and had lay there for some time. Occasionally I had broken the silence and asked Tōshirō something or another.

Once I had gotten up, I had looked in the mirror and felt an explicable rush of relief as I saw how similar my gigai had been.

My eyes were the same almond shape, my lips and nose were exactly the same, and it had been a subtle alteration of my cheekbones and jawline that would have made it harder to recognise me. My face was more heart-shaped now, and my cheekbones weren't as high. My hair, while still wavy, was darker and much longer. I was glad I would still have some connection to Eva... even though soon that life wouldn't be so important to me.

Eating breakfast with Tōshirō hadn't even been uncomfortable. I had become numb; I had had too many experiences where I was suddenly assaulted with memories... And soon they would be the ones I really needed.

After that I had asked Tōshirō about the trial and he had inquired after my Zanpakutō. I had felt little uncomfortable, because what had happened, however unexciting, was between myself and I. I had glossed over the details and given info about where I had woken, but that was it. He had seemed to understand, and had reciprocated with a description of his own little interior world.

But now there was nothing left to do really. I had asked what story they planned giving to my school and my friends, and there had been a short uncomfortable silence before Yoruichi had finally admitted: "We found the bodies of your mother and guards. We were going to leave them here, make it look like a robbery that had gone wrong..."

I shook my head. "People can never find this house, getting here would be too much effort and it would raise more questions. Just set the house on fire... Our heat is from gas bottles, there's one in the cupboard next to the cooker. As long as I have a day to clear this place out of stuff I want to save, I don't mind."

It was then that I started to see a glimmer of respect in the Shinigami's eyes. Her and Urahara had nodded as I felt Tōshirō's hand come to rest upon my lower back. I knew the others couldn't see and felt thankful for this show of support. Once Urahara had turned and started preparing my living room for the procedure, Tōshirō had stepped around me and looked at my face very seriously.

"You're really coming back with me, then?"

I smiled at him. "Eva stays here, and now I'm not going to be her."

I think he got my message. _She died with her family. _He nodded and carefully raised his hidden right hand and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I wish you still had that innocent look in your eyes..." He told me, voice chagrined and full of pain.

It was then that I realised how old he actually was, and how much he had seen. It was terrifying to think that I had seen _more_.

"Mitsuki."

I turned towards Urahara. He gestured towards the sofa and I lay down, propped up on pillows so that it was like a nice version of a dentists' chair. I spent the next few minutes watching the man in the hat as he moved his hands over me and muttered.

"Are you ready?"

"I'm ready." I confirmed for the third time. Urahara shrugged.

"Well, okay, then."

I watched as he leant over me. He said three more words and then tapped his index finger onto my forehead. I waited for a second but nothing happened and I raised an eyebrow at Urahara, who was watching me expectantly. _What is he waiting fo-_

A gasp escaped my lips as my eyes began to see things that weren't there and a hundred different voices exploded around my ears. The world became green, then blue and gold and red and finally grey as my eyes rolled back into my head and I fell unconscious again, escaping the blinding pain in my head. I woke a minute later with my head pounding before being lost in a world of white.

"_Nee-chan! Nee-chan come back!"_

_A little girl was screaming as her sister swam away, laughing. She didn't know that Arima Mitsuki hadn't learnt to swim yet and was being left on an island she couldn't escape. The little girl began to cry, but a few seconds later Arima Itoe popped her head around a palm tree and smiled._

"_Don't be silly, Mitsuki, I wouldn't leave you!"_

_The ten-year-old picked up her sibling and walked through the shallow water as Mitsuki demanded an ice-cream..._

I had a second of relief and a stark image of Hitsugaya Tōshirō's pale face as he watched me, and I saw his eyes widen and his hand squeeze mine, but then I was sinking under again...

"_Can I go to the Academy one day?"_

"_Of course you can."_

"_Will I be a Shinigami, Mama?"_

"_Yes, dear... You will."_

_Short honey hair and kind brown eyes. She strokes my hair._

I come back up again with my mother's smile still imprinted in my vision. Then I see my father's face.

_Beard and black hair, wearing black clothes. He's back from his mission and I run towards him, screaming to him about how Mama got me a hamster but all it does is sleep._

_The next time I see him he's at dinner with us and is pouring Itoe her drink. I laugh at Mama's joke and say that I like sushi too, nodding to myself. Mama says that I never eat it, but I insist._

_I'm four and I fall and graze my knee and someone picks me up and heals me and says that it's okay and I believe them. A few days later I accidentally cut my hand and then Mama's telling me to be more careful. I'm six and my cat dies. Two months later, they buy me a little dog. I'm nine and Mama's taking me on a trip outside the Arima compound into Seretei and I see people in white cloaks and I'm on my best behaviour so I don't embarrass my family and people are talking about us as we pass and they wave and an old woman starts talking to me, asking if I know about tea ceremonies and I say 'Yes Grandmother' and I'm back in my room and it's pink and purple and I'm playing games with my sister and she teaches me western chess._

I feel the wetness on my face – this is _me_ – but prepare myself because I sense what comes next.

"_Hello. I'm Arima Mitsuki."_

_I hold out my hand. I'm the one who's ten now, the youngest my parents would let me enter the Academy. I'm facing a girl with red hair and brown eyes like mine. She's the only person my age, but she's still a couple of years older than me._

"_Shimatsu Tsubaki. Your first day?"_

_We're standing outside and there's so many people and we have to go in soon and I'm scared but I want to do this and Itoe did it so I can too. I nod and the older girl smiles._

"_Mine too. We should stick together."_

_We sit next to each other and study together in the First Years study area afterwards. We start to go to each other's dorm rooms and have feasts and talk about the boys at the Academy. My sister visits and meets Tsubaki and says she's nice and can come round in the summer. _

_Tsubaki doesn't invite me to her house._

_A boy tries to bully me because I'm from a prestigious clan, who must only be here because of her family's influence and not because she actually has talent and therefore is someone to be jealous of and who deserves punishment. But since everyone knew I had my heart set on this, they'd been training me for the last two years in hand-to-hand combat because I didn't have a Zanpakutō._

_I break his nose._

The scene changes, and I'm older, and my body is slimmer and I have my Zanpakutō now. I'm walking with Tsubaki towards the training room.

"_Why haven't I ever been to yours, Tsubaki?"_

_She looks at me, and stops. I stop with her and she sighs._

"_I don't think you'd like it."_

"_Why? Arimas have tradition and ceremonies too. I'm sure I'd be fine."_

"_No... It's... They're not normal," She finally admits to me, and my eyes betray my shock. I glance towards the doors, where a few classmates are waiting for us._

"_Tell me later, okay?"_

_Tsubaki looks apprehensive but relieved as she nods... And we start walking again, covering up the patch with a joke about Takahashi's shoddy fighting practice with a wooden sword where he hit the teacher over the head accidentally._

_We have a secret party with four other friends but we can't stay too long because we have combat tests tomorrow and have to be well-rested. It's a week later and she's slipped into my room after hours. Sitting on my bed, she starts slowly._

"_They're not normal."_

"_You said that already."_

_I'm impatient and I want to know._

"_They're a little... touched by the sun."_

_I look at her in disbelief. "And nobody knows?"_

_Tsubaki shakes her head._

"_No. Nobody. It's a secret..." Suddenly crying, she reaches for me and grabs onto my sleeves. "They do horrible things, Mitsuki, you wouldn't believe! I'm ashamed to carry the Shimatsu name."_

_I stare at her and promise to help her and when I say that she hugs me and thanks me a hundred times and tells me between sobs what her own father did to her. I feel sick but I listen because she's my friend. Eventually she stops and I tell her it's okay, and that the important thing is that _she_ knows it is wrong._

_I meet my Zanpakutō for the first time but he doesn't want to talk to me or tell me his name and all is says is 'You'll have to work a little harder'_

_The next month is summer break and I go home but Tsubaki doesn't come with me because she doesn't want to be there when I tell my parents. I do and they admit that they know the family well and had seen evidence of it and Itoe screams at them because they had been planning to marry her off to Shimatsu Kaito and she would do anything for family but these people are insane and they have to stop them. My father looks at me and asks me if Tsubaki would like to live with us next summer, once we've graduated. I know the answer and I nod even while my parents begin to talk about what to do._

"_They can't go on like this!"_

_My mother is friends with some Shimatsu woman, but she can't deny it now. No one can and my father says so._

"_Yamamoto will deal with them."_

"_No! We can't do that until Tsubaki is here with us, and anyone else who wants to leave! Otherwise they might be hurt."_

_That meant killed and I knew it, but I told my parents we couldn't wait and once summer is over I talk to Tsubaki and she says there's no one else who wants to escape and we go back home and the same day father goes to Yamamoto but it's already too late and some Shimatsu find him on the way and he's dead before he can warn the Gotei Thirteen and I cry and suddenly we're running away from the compound and I can hear people shouting, and there's one behind me and I draw my blade._

"_Anatano kanawo oi kakeru, Takehiko!"_

_I didn't know before but I do now and I feel our bond and I can feel he is pleased. He leaps forward and grabs the man around his neck, snapping it. And then we're running away. Always running._

_Urahara with a younger face and no clogs and he tells me that I have to hide and Tsubaki too but I don't know where and he sends us to Russia where it's so cold but I'm at home here and my mother and my sister are here too and two guards, Daisuke and Sora. This is my family now and they tell me that only twenty of us survived and second-cousin Kyou is with his family and Tsubaki is with cousin Aoishi who was in our Academy class and we never finished and oh I want to go home-_

I took a gasp of breath and sat up, feeling the tears but not the usual embarrassment of crying in public as I took deep breaths as I clutched Takehiko. I realised why: Eva felt that sort of thing, not me. I felt so detached.

"That wasn't nice," I groaned, realising a second later I had said it in Japanese. I realised I knew eight languages now, and I knew that I seriously needed to start training again. I was out of shape and unfit.

I looked up at Tōshirō and smiled. He looked worried.

"I'm fine."

And it was almost true.

OOO

'Anatano kanawo oi kakeru' means 'chase your enemies', and 'Takehiko' means 'mountain prince'. I think they fit pretty well. I hope that my memories work too.

Also, Itoe is what came up when I translated my sister's name.

Ciao.


	15. New Arrival

I'm on a roll! Finished one chapter, completely written another one, and now I've half done this one! Ah, divine inspiration...

Disclaimer: that unfortunately doesn't extend into the disclaimer. I do not own, no infringement intended.

Warning: any guesses? -evil laugh-

Enjoy!

OOO

_He says goodbye but doesn't know how true it really is and I wave and he continues round the corner. I go into our dingy, grotty flat, barely fit for one human being, let alone five. I drop my bag on the floor and go into the lounge, where everyone is arranged around the four large cases containing most of our life here. They all look up at me and I sense the pity in their collective gaze because I'm the youngest and the one who actually can't help caring about the people we met here in Russia and Itoe drops a hand onto my shoulder and murmurs 'It will get easier'_

_It never did._

I blinked and suddenly I was back in more familiar surroundings and Tōshirō was watching me carefully. I felt Takehiko ground my awareness in the here and now and thanked him silently.

"What did you see?"

It was a question only he was allowed to ask.

"The end of my third life in Russia."

I had already had several flashbacks about it yesterday, seeing as we'd spent better part of fifty years there. I'd already been through the first two, seen us move, me saying goodbye over and over again (luckily in those days there wasn't any way to keep in touch) but it seemed that that time we had simply vanished. But that third time was the last, after that we had moved to France, then Italy (I had already seen that one), but after that I didn't know. I wasn't sure I really wanted to, because then I would see World War I and then World War II... And where could we have gone to escape those?

A hand came to rest briefly on mine and I blinked down at it before smiling at Tōshirō's serious face.

We were sitting in his open-plan living room slash diner, which was surprisingly well furbished and very nice and modern. It had neutral tones or even white walls with darker furniture. It was comfortable here, but the main reason we were here was because I was suffocating next door.

In a way, this felt like _our_ home, a sentiment I had never expected to have so soon.

We were even sharing a bedroom, something that I hadn't expected without the logical progress of our relationship... But he had been very courteous and had understood perfectly that sex was pretty much the last thing on my mind right now, and that generally what I needed was more the comfort that came from intimacy, but not a sexual sort.

But then again...

"So, what's the plan for today?"

Tōshirō picked up his fork again as he let go of my hand. We were having simple meals, but to my delight I had discovered that one of the skills that I had picked up was cooking. It turned out I was a feminist through and through, but the thought of acting like a housewife to Tōshirō made me blush and look down. I _liked_ the thought, but knew that I didn't want to spend my whole life that way, locked in the house only leaving to shop and take the kids to school. I liked doing things for him, but I knew that it was purely my choice, and not 'my place in the world'.

"That depends on Yamamoto. Has he made any offers yet?"

"No, I think he's waiting on the last survivor."

I paused. "I think I might know who it is... But it might be wishful thinking."

Tōshirō nodded and spoke after a moment. "We can ask Urahara. I'm sure he has some way of locating you."

I agreed and and it was as we were cleaning away the plates that it began to snow. I went to the window and stared, then a thought abruptly came to me and I turned and stared at Tōshirō.

"Today is the..."

"Twelfth." He supplied helpfully.

I was in the UK on the sixth. Less than a week since I last saw him... I felt sad because I would never contact him again, and I knew that he had loved me too. I could say that now with the certainty of experience, but it only made it worse. Losing me would hurt him. And as much as I realised that what I felt for him was relatively little, it was still love, and I still hated to see the people I cared about – let alone _loved_ – suffer. Maybe being a genocide baby made me see it that way?

My boyfriend – first ever, pathetically – was looking at me like he knew what I was thinking of. I reassured him with a smile and pecked him on the cheek. He hmmed slightly in response and went back to scrubbing.

"So your birthday is in eight days?" I turned back towards the sink and the weather. "I need to go shopping."

Tōshirō actually seemed surprised by this. "Don't be ridiculous, Mitsuki, you don't need to get me a present..."

"Well I cann't organise you a party, and I have to do _something_."

He sighed. "We can hardly go on shopping trips now."

Eventually I gave in. I knew it would take too long because I had no idea what to get. Anything related to the cold or dragons I would have liked, but I acquiesced because he wasn't bothered, and that made it not a big deal. I paused when an idea came to me. I wasn't entirely sure about my abilities, but just maybe...

Urahara pranced into the kitchen. I ignored his declarations of homesickness and wiped my hands dry.

"Who's the other survivor?"

I turned to him in time to see him completely freeze and then relax with a smile I could now recognise as -beep!- false.

"You don't actually know, do you?"

Tōshirō asked curiously, stepping forward.

"I do know, but it might be a little bit of trouble contacting her..."

"Why?"

Tōshirō asked, but a stone dropped into my stomach as I realised. "She had her memories erased, didn't she?" I shook my head and looked down.

How could I do what had happened to me to someone else? Would she ever forgive me for ruining whatever she had, for taking away her family? Plus, none of them would be Arima or even guards, they would be just human, and she would have to leave them behind. And to even ask her would cause distress.

"Yes, she did... However, I have a solution that won't disrupt her in case she might not appreciate leaving right now."

I cocked my head and Tōshirō folded his arms. Both meant _and what solution would that be?_

_He can ask her Zanpakutō_, Takehiko whispered in the back of my mind.

_Invasive, much? _I grumbled, but knew that it was a lesser evil.

"Well, thanks to my genius, I can ask her Zan-"

"Yes," I said, cutting him off and I faced away. "Do it."

I didn't quite know why I judged Urahara so critically now. He had done nothing but help me, but perhaps I blamed him because he had given in and erased my memories. But I couldn't let myself, really, not before I had actually seen what happened, how that all started. Maybe I had simply known him a long time now, and that allowed me to be a little less than my normal 'Important Clan Member' polite.

"How long will it take?" I heard my boyfriend ask behind me. My grip on the sink tightened.

I called him that in my head because that was exactly what he was to me, but I knew that we couldn't have anything until it was certain that it wouldn't be bombed out of the sky. At the very least, we had to keep it quiet, this unlabelled thing that we already had going on.

"Oh, not long. If she hasn't moved at all, I should have an answer for you within an hour."

I knew he would avoid answering me if I asked who this person actually was. Too bad he didn't know that I didn't like surprises.

I felt him leave and a great sigh escaped me. I was quite content to be sitting around all day with Tōshirō, and it was only the unresolved issue of Yamamoto that was causing me stress. Damn him. I knew that later I would have to go back to the Academy, no doubt, and finish. After that...

I knew I couldn't apply to be in Tenth Division, because then I would be his subordinate and any relationship outside of the platonic would be unprofessional. I had yet to decide what Division I wanted to be in, because I didn't know if I had any particular affinity for Healing or Infiltration (this was tested in your last year in the Academy, the one I had failed to attend). But that still left the large majority of the Divisions.

But then again, I had a whole year to puzzle it over. Who knew, perhaps I had already discovered that I was more fit for Kenpachi's Division and simply didn't remember.

I sighed then because all this thought on the matter was useless. Yamamoto had to make it clear what my options were.

Smiling, I turned when a pair of arms slid around my waist. Tōshirō was watching and I knew that he was silently asking what was wrong. Trust him not to miss even the tiniest little signs.

"I'm just worried about Yamamoto."

Tōshirō leaned his forehead against mine and I closed my eyes. "Don't be. He said during the trial that even if you were Tsubaki, you would be allowed to return to Seretei if that was what you wanted. As you are quite clearly Mitsuki, no doubt he's only thinking about whether to reinstate your clan or not."

I raised an eyebrow and Tōshirō chuckled slightly. "You could do it by yourself, you realise? Anyone you married and had children with" - my arms tightened around him unconsciously but I knew he was smiling - "would automatically become Arima and part of the clan. And then, anyone they married and so on and so forth. Your name would not be lost."

"I might want to do that," I admitted. "But I wouldn't want us to be ghosts of what we once were, or for us to fall prey to the same mistakes."

He didn't ask if I meant my clan's in particular, or the corrupted ideologies of those who had had too much power for too long. Both could lead to ruin.

I shrugged again. "I just want to go and lie down."

Tōshirō and I lay around in bed, pretty silent and well aware that if Urahara were to return he would walk straight into the bedroom. After about ten minutes I got bored of the tension and rolled over on the king-sized bed until I was resting my head against Tōshirō's shoulder. He put his arm around my shoulders and leaned down to kiss my forehead. I leaned into him and brought the rest of my body closer, delighted when I heard the slightest hitch in his breath. Tōshirō was a hard man to get a reaction out of.

"Mitsuki..." He breathed warningly, and I almost laughed at how easy he was to affect this way. I was only close to him, we had been closer _hugging_. I smiled into his neck; his voice was definitely different when he was speaking his native tongue.

Teasingly, I slowly leant forwards and pressed a kiss into his pulse. He breathed deeply and looked down at me when I pulled away. He analysed my face and then he started doing things very fast.

One arm went around my waist and pulled me until I was nearly on top of him, and the one around my shoulders tightened as he leant down and properly kissed me. My hands went around his neck but I knew that if he went any further I would stop him.

But this was very, _very_ nice. We had only really done random pecks, and that one time where we kissed, but it had only been open-mouthed kisses again and again. I had forgotten that dizzy feeling that he gave me when he made me feel like he simply couldn't get enough of me, of being close to me. It was so flattering, being _wanted_ like this.

Tōshirō pulled away and panted ever so slightly as he rested his head very close to mine. I was too breathless to form a proper expression but I gently kissed the corner of his mouth. He turned his head and caught my lips again, but this time it was chaste and slow. He kept it slow and carefully pulled me even closer, until I could feel his whole body flush against mine. I tugged on his right shoulder, pulling his upper half over me. He sighed as he broke away and gently began to kiss under my ear repeatedly.

I took a moment to memorise this. This was what I wanted. Simple intimacy where nothing was rushed and everything felt natural, having him so close I wasn't constantly thinking about how I wanted him closer, wanted _more_.

I knew eventually this wouldn't satisfy me, but for now, having his presence and his smell and his heat pretty much surrounding me, I was content.

"You are so evil," Tōshirō murmured as he continued pressing little kisses onto my skin.

I smiled and ran a hand through his hair.

OOO

She smelt quite enticingly of fruit.

I tried not to think about how very much further I would have been more than willing to go, but I knew that I would always halt where she wanted and not push. Maybe it was how delicate she seemed, constantly being hit with memories that more often than not made her cry (although that hadn't happened yet today) because they almost always involved people that were already gone. Present for a second, very vividly so, and then gone again.

Maybe it was because Mitsuki was the first thing to matter to me in a long time. Her vulnerability and innocence, coupled with how she had needed my protection, had allowed her to easily – albeit unintentionally – slip past my guard. No one had ever done that, not even Hinamori; family was different. With anyone else I knew, Matsumoto even, she was under my command and I trusted her with my life, but I let her get only so close and she was never allowed further.

But with Mitsuki? She was able to ask anything... She could ask me 'So, do you have any family?' and the first name to fall from my lips would be 'Hinamori' even though normally I utterly avoided speaking of her.

But either way, I was on my best behaviour.

"You seem far away." It wasn't an accusation, she was simply recognising that for once it wasn't her oblivious to the world.

I shifted so that I could rest on my elbow but still be close to her. I waited a second and watched her face, but she was relaxed and didn't mind me looming over her, so I responded to her smile in kind. I dipped my head down for a kiss, still supporting my chin with my hand, and felt my body sigh. I leaned back and trailed a finger along her arm, watching its progress as I felt a deep contentment settle itself into my stomach.

"I like being here with you," I said calmly, because it was true and because she would like to hear it.

She was smiling so openly at me now. Saying these things was so easy, really. Why hadn't I said them before? I pushed off my lethargy; knowing the cause of my drugged feeling was pleasant, but the effect slightly irritated me.

"I like being with you too," She said as she tugged me down for another kiss. "And now you should get up. Because I _will_ blush if Urahara Kisuke finds us like this."

I chuckled and rolled off her, but categorically refused to move off the bed. She sighed and gave in fairly quickly, because she seemed to appreciate opportunities for relaxation too.

"I wonder how many times my school has called my house."

It wasn't a question, though her tone was thoughtful. I shrugged and rolled onto my side again so that I could watch her face.

"Seeing as you left because of an emergency... And you've only missed a few days."

It was the weekend, but she looked at me blankly until I elaborated. She then nodded and looked a little embarrassed with her lapse, claiming that without a routine, she completely lost track of the days. I then tentatively asked if she would want to say goodbye, but she shook her had sadly.

"No, I can't. People never come up here, especially with you next door and you missing too... Maybe we could fake your death as well? Then it would all make sense."

I nodded. It wouldn't be the first time.

"I bet they would even take a while to realise..." Mitsuki continued. "If we start the fire downstairs, it'll go onto the garden and probably spread to your house anyway."

"But how do we explain the days you were missing?"

Mitsuki shrugged. "My sister was meant to be in the UK, we did go there, so we can pretend we went to her funeral, got back but had left the gas on, and Mum lit a fag in the garage. Boom."

It did make sense, just, but I suspected she knew what she was talking about a lot more than me.

"I'm sorry."

She didn't reply for a few minutes, but then she turned her head and looked at me.

"Me too."

Reaching out, she grasped my hand and then returned to staring at the ceiling.

It was only a few minutes later that we both sensed two presences returning, and Mitsuki sighed and sat up, looking at the window opposite the bed. I resolutely stayed lying down, but I caught her wide-eyed look of disbelief when she turned towards me.

"Not Yoruichi with him, then?" I asked cautiously.

"No... Shimatsu Tsubaki." She replied matter-of-factly. I sat up and looked with some curiosity and a little apprehension.

And that was when the vaguely familiar red-headed girl wearing Shinigami robes stepped through the window and rushed towards Mitsuki. I almost decided to intercept her, but I saw how Mitsuki was smiling and how she stood to hug the other girl. They collided and nothing happened, so I relaxed and stood. I assumed then that Mitsuki's memories of Tsubaki had been some of the first, the ones that I hadn't asked about, and that this girl was trustworthy.

The two girls were swaying side to side with their lengthy embrace, but finally they pulled back and grinned at each other.

"I should have known something was different when you dyed your hair!"

"Yes, I accidentally stumbled across a katana, and that was all I needed."

I blinked and stared a little longer, waiting for Mitsuki to remember everyone else in the room. She was lucky that I was used to females.

"And what about your family?"

"When I felt the reiatsu around here, I decided to go into hiding. My family have already planned my funeral."

Shimatsu Tsubaki didn't look much like her mother, but maybe that was the mournful expression crossing her face. Her red hair was the same shade, but her eyes were a soft hazel. Her jaw was more pointed and her whole face very angular and feline-looking. She looked tall and graceful.

Mitsuki nodded and swiftly turned towards me. She gestured and I was glad I was already standing.

"This is Hitsugaya Tōshirō, the Captain who was defending me."

We bowed to each other slightly and I rose in time to catch the look Mitsuki was sending Tsubaki, and the taller girl seemed to understand. Urahara, who had been hidden behind her shoulder, now took this time to pop up and say that he needed to run some tests on Tsubaki and make sure everything was going smoothly.

The older girl rolled her eyes but followed Urahara after promising Mitsuki that they would catch up soon and another respectful bow towards me.

Alone again, Mitsuki turned a looked at me.

"Are you going to tell her how her mother died?"

"If she asks, yes, I will."

She didn't turn away, though her confession made her eyes narrow, and it was with a sigh that she gestured to the bed again. Sitting down, she proceeded to tell me what she had seen during her first flashbacks. Even though she was pretty explicit, I got the feeling she left out the real details of Tsubaki's abuse.

"...and then of course, we went to Russia, but Tsubaki had been sent somewhere else, and I knew nothing of her. I didn't know she was the other survivor, but she was my friend – Helen – in school. I should have known" - here she smiled warmly - "we just clicked, on the first day we met."

I didn't blame her. I had met both girls while pretending to be Alex and hadn't noticed anything different about either of them.

Mitsuki reached towards me and grabbed my hand. Her face was glowing. "You can't understand how glad I am about this, Tōshirō, she was the only friend I was truly going to miss."

_And now you don't have to lose her. _Yes, I understood.

"Well, I should contact Yamamoto with the news. I am sure he will make an offer soon, if not now."

Mitsuki was smiling, but abruptly her eyes glazed over, no doubt her mind's eventual reaction to seeing Tsubaki again. I carefully moved her so that she was sitting against the headboard. Leaning close, I placed a kiss on her temple and hesitated, feeling the urge to say something.

"I was thinking about how you're the only one I let in."

I opened my mouth and then closed it again, before deciding that that whisper was enough and fleeing the room. Once outside the door, I shut it and leant back against it, hand still on the doorknob. Then I took a deep breath and told myself to stop being a coward.

OOO

Sorry for the delay with this chapter, I uploaded as soon as I re-entered the online realm. I hope you enjoyed!


	16. Reunions

**Edit: I thought I had this uploaded about 2 weeks ago, but it seems ffn failed me and didn't actually post the new chapter. As an apology for this, I'm uploading both chapter 16 and 17 at once. Sorry!**

Hello! You may have noticed that I changed the name and summary of this fic. I think it fits better with the way this ended up going. And I meant to post this last week, but my connection was down. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: nobody's even looking any more, are they?

OOO

"You're the only one I let in."

I heard his quiet words as I surfaced again from what I referred to as 'childhood' memories from the Academy. I had just discovered, among other things, that Tsubaki's favourite food was dumplings, that she was a very fast runner and always finished her laps first, that she was not a morning person and that she had managed to snare the Academy heartthrob (I still didn't remember his name) during a party the year before we left.

I could hear Tōshirō's rapid footsteps as he left me alone in the room, the way he made the door creak ominously and how he released a long sigh.

Did he mean in general, he let me in constantly, or that he had let me in? And why on Earth had he said in English? Stupid English grammar... he can't have done that deliberately.

We had been speaking in a strange mix of Japanese and English; often after a flashback I would talk in Japanese, but otherwise I was prone to switching to English without realising. Either way, though, his comment instantly made me smile because he was showing he cared, but also made me pity him a little because it was obviously hard for him to care, let alone show it. What had happened to him to make him this way? But then it occurred to me that being the youngest Captain was a heavy load to bear, and that perhaps his duties had isolated him from his peers.

I shrugged it off and moved down on the bed, rolling over onto my side. I might as well pretend I had taken a nap.

A few minutes later I realised I actually _was_ falling asleep, but by then my body was protesting too much at the thought of getting up or even moving, so I decided to just let myself rest...

My dreams were strange and twisted, memories of various lives twined together to create a nightmare.

I built an entire Roman city and made it an attraction, then I was in a house I barely remembered and there was a werewolf outside and I was praying for him to not look under the window. My mother was standing in a dustbin as two old ladies escorted me up stairs on the side of a bus, and I was crying when I saw the dragon chop her into little pieces. I was escaping from a cell and a person who's name I couldn't remember was standing outside waiting for me, but he ran away when I called his name for help getting down from the barred window.

I rose from the bed, gasping and feeling sweaty as I clutched at my chest, feeling adrenaline pumping through my body. I shuddered and heaved and eventually managed to quell the feeling that I was going to throw up or cry, or maybe just choke from lack of air. Still struggling to get my breath back, I looked up and was somewhat relieved when I found the room empty. I lowered my head again and let my breath even out.

I stiffened when I felt Tōshirō's arms come around me from behind, but sighed in defeat as he pulled me back onto his chest. He kissed the top of my head and then rested his cheek on my hair.

"It was nothing, just a nightmare." I told him before he asked.

_I didn't mean to fall asleep... _Crossed my mind, but I thought that I would rather not talk about that time, just in case he regretted what he had said. For now, I would keep quiet and wait.

I relaxed into him and realised that I was sitting in between his legs. I tilted my head up and looked at him questioningly.

"How long was I asleep?"

"About an hour," He replied, voice muffled.

"Oh. Is Tsubaki back yet?"

He didn't answer, just shook his head. I let my head fall back into a more comfortable position as I decided to stay here until I absolutely had to move. Sitting here with Tōshirō was nice, and having his arms around me made me feel safe. I smiled then, because Tōshirō was the only person who made me feel safe any more.

_I like being here with you._

OOO

Tsubaki was quite different to how I remembered her, but she had the same smile (even if it was a little dampened) and the same glint in her eyes that spoke of mischief – but somehow I knew that that was an act. I had no doubt that somewhere along the line I would come across a memory where she was explaining it to me, or perhaps it was just the sense I had gotten over the years of being with her.

She was sitting at the kitchen table with me, having some tea. I had gone with coffee, hoping to get some energy back. The 'visions' always left me drained, as if my brain had been stretched.

"So, how did this all happen?"

Her eyes were watching me closely over the rim of her mug. I sighed and wrapped my hands around my warm beverage.

"Do you want to hear things as I discovered them, or the real sequence of events?"

Tsubaki waited and took a few sips before answering.

"As you discovered them."

I smile thinly. "You always did like stories."

"Yes, I do..."

Her whole face had lit up with mirth as she told me silently that she would be waiting for the story about me and Tōshirō with baited breath. I ignored the slight heat that rose to my cheeks and started telling her how we went to the UK. Her eyes widened at the way I talked about Aaron, but I was simply fervently thankful that Tōshirō wasn't here. He really didn't need to hear the way I was speaking of him.

When I got to the part where the rest of my family had been killed, her face saddened but she stayed quite silent. I took a deep breath and then revealed what her mother had done and how she had been responsible. Tsubaki didn't freeze or express shock; she went back to watching me with a calculating gaze. I faltered slightly and then picked up again, rushing a little to finish with how the insider and Hiroko had been executed only a few days ago.

Once I was completely done and heavy silence had fallen over us like a warm blanket, Tsubaki looked out of the window at the still-falling snow. Then she turned to me and splayed her hands over the table and leant forward slightly.

"I thought it might be her. When she found my group, she was astonished to find me there. She had been so deluded that she had entirely believed that deep down I did want to be Shimatsu. She almost decided to make me repent by killing me after she found out how I had betrayed my clan, but she hesitated and gave me opportunity to escape. I think she regretted it afterwards, and that's why she came looking for me, and believed that you were me. She had deluded herself into thinking that forgiveness from both parties was possible too, and that things would be OK after."

I shook my head sadly. "Maybe, but she was willing to torture me to find out. I think you still would have faced some punishment."

Tsubaki nodded and looked down at the round table. "Maybe she would have stripped me of my clan name... but then again, I think that all she wanted at that point was to continue the Shimatsu clan."

I knew by the way she was speaking that she had long disassociated herself from her once-family. She was just Tsubaki now.

We went silent again, and I could tell that she was looking around thinking 'how did we get here?' I smiled at her and said:

"So, what do you think we should do?"

Tsubaki downed the last of her tea. "I would like to go back to Seretei as soon as possible. If we don't have to finish off at the Academy, then that's great, but I don't mind if we have to go back."

"They'll probably just give us an exam, decide what level we are."

Tsubaki looked at me and smiled.

"It's going to be nice going back home."

I watched her as I drank my coffee. I wondered if she had any idea how people were going to react to her now; she was still Shimatsu, and I had no doubt that some would still only see that. But I wasn't going to let anyone give her too much shit, especially when nobody knew what they were talking about.

"Mum wanted to adopt you," was what I eventually came out with, though I had planned on just offering.

Tsubaki raised an eyebrow and laughed at me.

"I'd like that, yes. But," she leaned forward. "D'you what I want even more?" Her eyes were twinkling, but this time I knew it was real.

"Yes, I do. And nothing has happened to really interest you, you pervert!"

Tsubaki laughed again, but it was the first time that I could almost see a mirror image of her fifteen year-old self superimposed. She suddenly looked very young and full of vitality, and I felt the same way.

"You've kissed, right?"

I nodded. "But not much more than that, before you ask."

"He hasn't even... you _know_, tried it?"

"I'll have you know that I have good taste!" I said, feigning horror.

Tsubaki properly leant forward, whispering now.

"Oh, come on! I can see it in your face! You really like him, it's just nervousness stopping you."

I shook my head, face flaming red now. I knew she was partly right, but it was a lot more complicated than that and I was half embarrassed, half annoyed that she couldn't see the predicament we were in.

"No, it's loads of things. I don't even know entirely who I am, we don't know what Yamamoto will say, and we only properly met a few days ago! I don't want to go too fast and ruin it."

Tsubaki had the gall to look amused.

"You're such a prude. Well, don't keep him waiting too long, dear."

I stared at her and refused to back down, and she just stood and washed out our cups. I hesitated a second before hopping up on the counter next to her.

"It's not just that," I murmured. "I told him about Aaron... I'm not sure if he's all that happy with me, or how much he likes me, even..."

I knew I was most likely being ridiculous, hadn't what Tōshirō said only a few hours ago proved that he cared?

_Yes, but it says nothing about how much he wants you. _A small, irritating voice said sadly. I shook my head. Tōshirō had shown how much he wanted me earlier this morning... I didn't know what was worse. Feeling too young and fourteen, or feeling embarrassed about my old age. I glanced at Tsubaki. Had she had any relationships?

"No, not one." She said quietly. Oh, I had said it out loud then. She turned and looked at me, and smiled. "Don't worry about it, he's good for you, and you have all the time in the world now."

She patted my knee and left the room, and I felt inexplicably so much happier. I just knew I could _do_ things now, and that the bad patch was over. Things were only going to get better. I had forgotten my friend's innate ability to make me cheer up.

I looked up at the kitchen door opening and beamed at Tōshirō, who had just been in one of the guest bedrooms talking with Yamamoto, using one of Urahara's ugly devices.

"Good news?" I asked hopefully, before noticing how his face was tense and his eyes a little guarded.

My heart sank. Had he been listening to me and Tsubaki? Had I said anything to upset him? I couldn't remember my exact words now. Oh, God...

"Yes, so we need to clean out your house."

It took a minute for it to sink in. I had forgotten about that. I turned and looked out of the window again, just able to make out some orange amongst the white.

_Home._

"Yeah, I guess we do."

But then I realised, as I turned towards Tōshirō again, who had come close to me while my back was turned, that home was where the heart was. I kept hold of that thought as I pulled Tōshirō into a hug and kissed him gently on his eyelids. He opened his eyes as he placed his arms firmly around my waist. We were exactly the same height like this.

I stared at his unique eyes and wondered how much longer my own stupidity was going to stop me. This man was only unhappy when I was in trouble, he truly cared and what more could I ask for? Oh yeah, great looks. Then I sighed inwardly and gave in, leaning in for a kiss. Tōshirō was somewhat surprised but he didn't complain... In fact, I could tell how much he had been waiting to kiss me since earlier.

I wasn't going to stress any longer. I was going to let things happen, because I knew that he respected me enough to not go too fast anyway. I wasn't going to crawl all over him and drool, but I wasn't going to push him away. I was fed up of acting like a child. I could do it. Of course I could. I _wanted_ to.

Tsubaki was right, we had all the time in world, but I didn't want to waste too much of it... Maybe because I knew how quickly things could go wrong.

I wasn't going to muddle around half-heartedly trying to protect my 'virtue' but I wasn't going to drag Tōshirō by his lapels into the bedroom either. Everything else had pretty much gone all to hell, so I might as well have this part be how I wanted. And I wanted something natural, I wanted to _be_ with Tōshirō... But I wanted to be Mitsuki.

I pulled away from Tōshirō and smiled sweetly at him. I couldn't push him away, but I could never explain to him how I couldn't properly ever be his in this state of limbo between past and present.

"Do you have anything to store what I want to save?"

He blinked and seemed a little thrown off, but then he said calmly:

"I have maybe a few boxes and suitcases from when I 'moved' here."

"Good, but I'll only need about two."

One for the clothes I wanted to save, one for keepsakes like photo albums. Perhaps this wasn't the best way to get over it, but I didn't want to look around me in Seretei and realise I had nothing to remind me of them. This was the most important life I had ever had...

Because in this life it had all ended.

This life, I met Tōshirō.

I slid off the counter and left the kitchen, knowing that Tōshirō was following me. I pulled a coat off the hanger near the front door and a scarf for good measure, when I suddenly realised another thing I could do to symbolise my passage from Eva to Mitsuki.

"Oh, and I want a tattoo," I threw over my shoulder.

I wanted something there to represent them, as well as my memories and the tangible items I would save. I wanted something in between... This life had left its mark; it was only fitting that it have one on my skin too.

From the way Tōshirō all but gasped and choked, I assumed he didn't approve all that much of them, but I was surprised a moment later when he shut the front door behind him and stepped out next to me.

"You haven't seen mine, have you?"

He asked, and I paused a moment as I let my mind conjure the images for me.

"No, but first thing when we get back, you're showing me." I assured him. He chuckled and I tried to veer my thoughts away from half-naked Tōshirōs and black ink decorating previously unseen parts of his body. _Tsubaki is such a bad influence on me, her and her dirty mind!_

We arrived at the house and I rolled up my sleeves and then went inside, attacking my room with fervour.

Tōshirō appeared behind me asking what he could do, and I told him that he could fetch the boxes and be ready to pack them once I had finished. He had shrugged and gone back the way we came without complaint.

After selecting my one teddy bear, fishing out my journal from its hiding place and taking down the posters and photos I wanted to keep, I had looked around and decided that there wasn't really much else I wanted apart from clothes. I selected a few favourite books and then tackled my wardrobe.

Once that had been finished I had found myself with one bin bag full of things and the reassuring thought that that hadn't been so bad. Sure I had occasionally found something that had pushed memories forward – as well as an acute stab of longing – but that was to be expected.

Lugging the bag into the kitchen, Tōshirō finished his tea and showed me the suitcases he had brought over from his house while I was toiling.

I left him to it and wasn't disturbed as I carefully took down all the paintings in the living room that Mum had chosen. I found the one decent thing my grandmother had ever given us –an Egyptian style sculptured wall ornament–, and wondered just who had been pretending to be her. I comforted myself thinking that I would know soon enough, and carefully lay everything on the table. Then I went to our Welsh dresser and picked out a few bits of crockery that were supposedly heirlooms, and who knew, maybe they really were. It seemed important to keep them in any case. After that, I drifted off to where we kept our games and picked out our special lacquered backgammon set that was supposedly from my dead grandfather on my mother's side. I would definitely keep this, because I had a lot of memories with a lot of different people that tied in with this set of little black and white pieces.

I straightened and looked around. There wasn't much else to get, maybe a couple of things from each bedroom. I poked my head into the kitchen to inform Tōshirō that there were some very delicate things waiting for him on the dining room table.

Preparing myself, I trekked into my sister's room and knew that she might have hidden something for me to find. I reached out with my senses and my head immediately turned towards her chest of draws. The bottom draw, at the back on the left.

I knelt down and pulled it out, finding a wooden box with no visible lock or catch. I knew this box; it was one of the few items that had featured in my memories... Itoe had run back into the house to get it, despite how it was really quite large and heavy. She had even whispered to me as she caught up "Thank god I didn't forget this! They wouldn't be able to open it anyway, but..." And then we had been truly sprinting and she had concentrated on fixing her breathing rhythm.

Somehow, I knew that it was going to open for me because I was Arima. I placed it on the floor and gently pressed a finger to where the catch should have been, and watched as it opened smoothly.

I stared down at the contents and tried to pretend I wasn't about to cry.

It was everything that had ever been dear to my sister, from her first teddy bear to her diaries... And there was a letter addressed to me. I picked it up with shaking fingers, tried to ignore the embossed tome hiding beneath it. The paper was very thick and creamy, and the envelope was bulging. This was a long letter. I turned it over and read the handwriting that I had always based mine on.

_Little sister._

_Read this if you know who you are._

I laughed, because she had known that either way, Eva or Mitsuki, I would have been sure of who I was. I assumed that being halfway through my memory-recovery process and not quite either identity was good enough and allowed myself to open the letter.

OOO

After two hours of not seeing hide nor hair of Mitsuki, I began to get a little worried. I put down my fourth tea of the day and closed the suitcase resting on the floor next to the table. Then I started down the corridor and immediately spotted that the second door on the left was ajar. I opened it slowly and leaned in.

Mitsuki was sitting on the floor, looking like she'd been kneeling and then her legs had given out and now just rested either side of her. I could see the edges of a large chest in front of her and wondered what she had found.

Then I noticed her body was shaking and, alarmed, I crouched down next to her. I wasn't too surprised to find tears, but I was shocked when I saw the mile-long letter she was reading.

"Mitsuki?" I asked tentatively. She didn't seem to hear me. "Mitsuki." I said, a little more firmly. She looked up and her wide eyes latched onto mine. Then she immediately looked back down again and folded up the parchment carefully before stuffing it back in the envelope. Taking a huge breath and sniffing, she said:

"I'm fine, I'm fine."

I looked at her dubiously but she waved a hand and insisted.

"No, really. But I'll read it later."

She put the envelope back in the box and closed it, standing and looking around her. She picked up one photo frame and a little trinket box, before checking with a cursory glance inside the wardrobe and picking out a few dark items of clothing.

"This is all I want from this room."

She quickly opened the box again and stuffed her new items inside. Then she lifted it and carried it into the living room, me following behind her worrying what was in that letter. She put the box down on the dining table and then turned towards me.

"I'll tell you later. Just give me a minute."

She rushed off down the corridor, and less than a minute she was back with what looked like a jewellery box, two photo albums, a little stuffed monkey and a little R2-D2 model that I was utterly astounded to recognise. Dumping her treasure on the table, she asked me where the second suitcase was. I responded that it was still in the kitchen before I realised my mistake.

She was already turning away again when I caught her wrist.

I was a little saddened at how she looked down at my hand and then up at me, something like fear in her eyes. There was still wetness on her face.

"I'm not going to ask you what it said," I reassured her.

It took her a second, but slowly she nodded and then looked away, cheeks colouring.

"Hey," I said, and pulled her towards me. She let herself fall against my chest and I didn't say anything as she let out a few sobs before tightening her grip on my clothes. Then she sighed shakily and hugged me. I had wanted to tell her to slow down, to _calm_ down,but I didn't want her to stop and just cry.

"I'm sorry."

I shook my head mutely, but she seemed to get it.

After a few minutes, I leant back and looked at her seriously. "Are you really done?"

She hesitated and then nodded decisively. "Yes. I want to get out of here."

"Okay. Give me a minute to pack this stuff away. You can go back to the house now."

I had been slightly concerned at my talking to her like a child, but she didn't seem to mind that. She just glanced at me and placed a kiss on my cheek, wrapping me in one last hug before leaving and trudging through the snow. I had the feeling she would be down the rest of the day.

Just what was in that letter?

OOO

Hehe, anyone else like the thought of our dear little Tōshirō with tattoos? Oo-er!

Hope you enjoyed :)


	17. Closure

This is the last chapter before the epilogue. Enjoy this 4700+ words chapter!

Disclaimer: you love my story _so_ much you've skipped over this part and are already reading! You sweetie.

OOO

"_So, where are we going next?"_

"_France, mum tells me."_

_I sigh._

"_One of these days, staying in all these developed countries with their records and photos is going to catch up with us."_

"_I know, but mum wants to see Paris so badly..."_

_I shrug with disinterest. "Whatever. I don't want to see Paris."_

_I was thinking of somewhere cold and isolated, maybe northern Canada, where we could have lived with nobody being around. Nobody there to get attached to. Nothing there to make people ask questions. Mum's desire to see Paris was lost on me. Why?_

"_Mitsuki... I know you miss him, but..."_

_I hadn't been thinking about him. Not really. It was a sensible option, a reliable option..._

"_But what? But he's human so I can't be with him? But he's in Italy where we can't stay any more? But we never had a relationship so this is just a crush and not something to be taken seriously or to be considered important?"_

_I jump down from where I had been sitting on a stone wall, and send Itoe a dark, resentful look._

"_You should know better."_

_Sora is with us today, and Daisuke with mum, who was shopping nearby. He was almost a father to me. Almost, because I could never in good conscience have called him father. Daisuke was definitely an older brother, though in truth he was about as distantly related as possible whilst still being Arima. _

_Sora looks unhappy, but I can't tell if that's because he's sympathizing with me or because he doesn't want me being childish. I ignore him and walk away. Itoe starts to follow me, hurrying, while the guard-cum-parental figure lags behind, keeping an eye on everything. _

"_I meant, but we can't go back now, so you should let go and move on."_

"_I think that's a serious case of 'easy for you to say' and also of 'easier said than done'" I say with some acidity. I hear Itoe sigh and rub her forehead._

"_You will find someone, Mitsuki, it just isn't now. He just won't be... human."_

_I raise an eyebrow. "What, he's going to be a Hollow?"_

_Itoe grabs my arm and stares at me furiously. "My abilities aren't a joke. I can't say who, how, or when, but he won't be alive, Mitsuki." Suddenly her face lights up. "Do you know what that means? We'll be going home!"_

_I can think of several possibilities that didn't include that, but her giddy relief is infectious and I find myself smiling with her, sharing her joy. I'm about to apologise to her for jumping down her throat about what she said, but then I wanted to ask how long ago she had her premonition, and what exactly had she seen?_

_And then we heard the shout._

"_Girls, run! They've found us!"_

_His next scream was of agony, a guttural, throaty sound that ended in a hacking coughs. I glanced back as we ran and saw blood streaming from his mouth. He was holding on to consciousness with a grim determination to allow us to get away alive, his eyes fixed on us as his arms stayed locked around the man struggling in his grip. He nodded at me solemnly, a goodbye, recognition. There was something sticking out of his neck, but we had to run. Itoe started to cry as we raced towards Mum. We rounded the corner and saw Daisuke taking on two at once, and Mum was crying too when she saw that Sora wasn't coming with us, when she saw that Daisuke had taken a dagger to the heart. He said goodbye. He didn't look angry at us for making him die. Suddenly mum was holding our hands and running with us, things were moving fast and the air was cold. Everything was cold._

_That day, Sora and Daisuke both gave their lives to save us. They became simply more people that had sacrificed themselves so that we could escape and live on to see another day. We were alone, then. No guards, no protection. I was scared._

_Mum had fallen in love with Sora. She hadn't been able to do anything for a long time after his passing, but once she did, she decided she couldn't go to Paris without him. She told us we were going to England, and she wanted to go to University, get a proper job this time. Give us a proper structured life. I told her I wanted to forget if she wanted to pretend. _

_And that was how I started wiping the slate clean. _

_And seventy-two years later, after attending a half-dozen different Universities, Mum met him. I could never have told her it was a bad idea, falling for a human. It would have been such hypocrisy, and who was I to say that it could not be done? She felt as alive as he did. How could I ruin things for her? I told her I wanted to forget that he wasn't my real father, if only for a short while, if only for the first few years. I wanted to be able to call him Dad with no guilt attached._

_My little brother had been half human. Hiroko had only spilt his and his father's blood out of spite. They hadn't needed to die._

_It was selfish. We were all so selfish. And they had paid the price—in blood._

OOO

She wasn't avoiding me, per se, because that was quite impossible whilst living in the same house all day and whilst also sharing a room. But she was definitely trying to sneak in moments where she could be alone and pour over that letter. I knew that whenever I took a shower, she practically ran into our bedroom and flung open the chest safeguarded in the corner. I knew that every time we were sitting together, or going through basic combat training together, or talking, the reason her eyes kept flicking away or her fingers twitched as if itching to grab something, she was thinking of the letter.

I wanted to ask, but I had told her I wouldn't, and I would keep my word if it killed me.

On the other hand, her being so unwilling after three days to explain to me what was written on it, even as she told me about what she saw on an almost regular schedule of every three hours, was grating against my patience and willingness to keep quiet. What sort of woman wanted to sleep in the same bed as me, but couldn't bring herself to tell me this? It made no sense.

And then there were the nightmares. I knew that nothing less would make her climb out of bed and sneak into the bathroom. I knew also that she had no idea that I heard her retch and sob, flush the toilet and get back under the covers and roll over to face me. Every time I wanted to reach out to her, but I found myself unable. She wanted to deal with that part, at least, alone.

I was watching her over cereal on the fourth day of her now characteristic silence. I hadn't been able to even mention it, though I was sure it was obvious that something was troubling us both. I wasn't even bothering trying to be discreet with how I watched her now. I couldn't bring it up, as it seemed so taboo, but I would at least make sure she was aware that I knew exactly what was on her mind.

This wasn't like Mitsuki. Of course, sometimes she simply didn't reveal things that she knew (for example, hearing a woman's voice when she had been captured), but she never deliberately tried to deceive me or attempt things without my knowing. She didn't _hide_. Even while she had been hiding from Hiroko, she had simply acted like it was winter holidays. Which it nearly was.

Mitsuki didn't even redden under my scrutinising gaze and simply gathered up the remains of breakfast. Normally it would have been French toast to go with a nice fry-up, but she had gradually lessened the amount of time she spent cooking until she finally just set out the cereal boxes on the table and asked me to choose.

I watched her as she finished her dose of caffeine at the sink, and rose to follow her as she padded into the bedroom, not looking at me.

I didn't care to lighten my steps either, and closed the door before crossing my arms and looking at her with raised eyebrows. This time her cheeks did gain a pink tint as she stood next to the bed, one hand resting on the covers as she met my eyes for the first time in a while.

We stood there for a long minute before I realised she wasn't going to start talking. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes briefly, before carefully wording my opening gambit so that she wouldn't get offended.

"Seeing as I don't know what's written in that letter, nor what that chest contains, I don't know why it's causing this behaviour. I can understand that there may be things you cannot reveal to me, but I don't think anything warrants you pushing me away."

Mitsuki looked down and to the left, eyes staring at the bed, looking guilty. The air whooshed out of my lungs.

My thoughts racing, I wondered if I had it all wrong and the reason she was distancing herself was because of what I'd said while she was having a vision. Maybe my words had ruined our tenuous beginnings, maybe... Maybe as Mitsuki, she looked at me with different eyes. Eyes that didn't see someone they wanted to be with. The thought that I my confession had untimely ruined everything pained me a great deal. _What have I done? I am so stupid..._

"Unless you have decided to rethink our relationship..." I finally managed to squeeze out, but my voice remained steady and calm.

Mitsuki paused a second, meeting my eyes with shock before shaking her head frantically.

"No, no! That's not it at all! I swear, it's just..." She hesitated, before continuing softly. "I can't share it with you, or anyone."

_The knowledge, or the burden? _It was my turn to shake my head. "I'm not asking you. I'm just asking you to share your time." _Your attention_, but I didn't think I would be able to say that.

"I know, I just... wanted to read it all before going back."

I could understand that, I could understand how she wanted to have it all sorted... But even as the rational, reasonable part of me thought that, part of me just wanted her back the way she had been. Part of me was selfish.

I didn't have to say this as she stepped forward and hugged me, automatically resting her head on my shoulder and placing a kiss under my jaw. I closed my eyes as I realised that her effortless – thoughtless – gestures of affection were what I had missed most of all.

"I'm sorry," She whispered, but I didn't reply.

It was a long time before I could tell her in a low voice, as if saying it quietly meant I could negate it,

"You can read it whenever you want, I just want to be there."

I had planned on ending it with "for you" but I choked at the last second, grateful that the sudden stop didn't seemed obvious.

Nodding into me, she pulled me towards the chest. I watched with interest as she drifted her fingers gently across the front, which made a line appear. Opening it slowly and carefully she pointed towards the letter and spoke quietly, explaining how it was from her sister and how it gave her important information about her clan, their traditions, and the lives they had shared. Then she looked up at me with large eyes and spoke with a trembling voice.

"She knew we were going to die. She knew that Hiroko was after her, that was why she went away. She thought she was protecting me, protecting us all."

After I had gotten over my shock, pity, and respect for the woman who had made such a sacrifice, I wanted desperately to ask how she had known. Had something triggered her memories? Had she even had that done, or had she always been Itoe.

I hadn't known what to do, and I felt ashamed when Mitsuki looked down again, the opportunity for comfort passed.

"She left a letter for our mother too, explaining what she had done. She had arranged with her the visits and communications that made me believe that she was still alive."

So her mother had indeed known who she always was. It must have been awful for Mitsuki to realise the lengths her family had gone to just to keep her from pain... And they had failed.

Abruptly it came to me that Mitsuki _was_ sharing with me, and I nearly fell over. I didn't have time, however, as Mitsuki was now holding a heavy leather-bound tome that seemed to be embossed with a crest.

"This is a very important book for the Arima. It contains just about everything we know: from our origins and genealogy; to specific traits, like our affinity for water; to important historic achievements and exemplary Arima." She smiled up at me. "It also contains information on every single Arima to have ever been born. It's quite complementary about me."

She put it down and laid her hand gently on several items in turn: a stuffed teddy, a notebook, a small photo album, a pressed rose and a small box carved with images of dragons.

"These were her most precious items, in a sentimental way of course."

I had been standing next to her, holding her hand, but now I finally decided to crouch down. "I like the box," I murmured, and Mitsuki laughed, sending me a look filled with amusement. She pointed to another box, but this one was covered in dark red velvet.

"This is her jewellery box, and it contains things that I'm pretty sure have real diamonds in them."

Then she took a deep breath and looked at me seriously. "I can't show you the rest, but they are Arima heirlooms, like my great-great grandmother's necklace, or a picture of my family tree, or my ancestor's portrait."

I nodded. I understood; only for Arima eyes. I met Mitsuki's as I took hold of her hands.

"Thank you for telling me."

She nodded absently as she took out the letter and closed the chest, sending me a tentative, shy smile. We stood at the same time and she sat down on the sofa against the wall adjacent to the bed, settling herself so that her legs were occupying the whole sofa. I left her to go and have my morning shower, knowing that when I returned, she would let me sit down next to her.

I nearly laughed as I stripped off and adjusted the temperature carefully. If only all problems in life could be resolved as easily.

OOO

The first lines Itoe had written had made my heart shrivel up in fear as I wondered what on Earth she meant, and then with sorrow as she spoke about her own end with the tones of someone who had known for a long time.

_Dearest little sister,_

_It pains me to have to write this letter, but you have to know._

_I have been writing this a long time, everything I think you should know, I have written here. This is for your eyes only, though what you do with this information is your choice. It is about me, and you, and our family. I am sorry that you will only have words on paper, and not me next to you. I had always expected to be there next to you as I showed you and explained to you, I had always expected to go back home._

_But I cannot go back now, and I am sure that you know this by now. I am sorry to leave you._

_The first thing I have to tell you is: it was me that broke your china doll. I felt so guilty... I pretended it had fallen off your special shelf on its own and was so fervently thankful when you believed me. I know the one I bought you to replace her was never the same._

_Now that that's done, I need to talk to you about our family; the Arima. For how we came to be, you can refer to the book I have left you; from an objective point of view, it tells you everything you need to know. But it only gets so far as to tell you about the era of peace and wealth that we achieved around four and a half hundred years ago. After that, you have basic information about every Arima member._

_It does not tell you about the Shimatsu._

_I do not know, little sister, if you did decide to lock these memories away for good. Perhaps Tsubaki is indeed dead, and you have no reason to keep them. If you did, I hope that what I am about to tell you—how I began to see the cracks in their carefully constructed façade—does not unlock them._

_It all started when I was sixteen. I had just graduated the Academy, but mother and father were already talking to me about prospective husbands..._

That was all I managed to read before I had started to cry in earnest, the tears blurring my vision too badly to focus. I had had to wipe my tears and carry on, and I hadn't stopped again until Tōshirō had found me. That night I had had the longest series of flashbacks, unable to sleep as I kept seeing what my sister had told me, hundreds of little moments that finally brought together an almost complete picture. I had laid there next to Tōshirō and felt worlds away from him, as he slept on, unaware of what was happening. Oblivious when I had to run away, my body seemingly trying to purge itself.

And what hurt the most? She had no idea how different my life actually was to what she had envisioned when she wrote her letter. There was no one but me left. I was going home as the last, lonely Arima. She had sacrificed her life for a fraction of what she had hoped. She had bided us time, but she hadn't managed to save us. Not all of us.

I didn't even really owe my life to her. I owed it to Tsubaki. If Hiroko hadn't hoped that I was her daughter... I would have died the same day as my mother. I owed it to Tsubaki, and to Tōshirō, whom Itoe had never met. Never would meet.

I wished more than anything to have my sister here. She had always been there for me and protected me. I wished she was here with me to cry for our loss, to laugh at Tsubaki's dirty jokes, to tell me how I had to get some nice clothes now with a wink, to help me pack for our return home. I could still see her smile in my mind.

I looked up as Tōshirō returned from his shower, hair dripping wet but still pointing the wrong way. I found myself smiling unconsciously. I blinked as Tsubaki burst in through the door a second later, breathing heavy before straightening and giving me a triumphant smile, completely ignoring the half-dressed man next to her.

"I am now officially Arima Tsubaki, and we'll only have to do our missing year of Academy studies, and then we'll be treated as normal graduates."

Tsubaki had been engaging in negotiations with the Commander for some time now. I had only spoken to him once, but seeing him had set off another set of memories (which had left me with a searing headache) and I'd had to excuse myself after confirming that I wanted to return to Seretei. Yamamoto had seemed quite agreeable, and Tsubaki told me that he had no prejudices against her, so I didn't know _what_ they talked about for so long.

I grinned at Tsubaki.

"How long until we leave?"

"We can leave whenever we want, but Urahara said we should wait two more days to make sure you won't have any more blackouts."

I nodded; the 'fits', as we had begun to call them, often went in twos or threes, but those were rare now and I usually just heard a voice or had another image that faded within a few seconds. No one knew how long this final stage of interim would last, but Urahara said that it could be months until I finally filled in all the little details and got the most recent memories. All anyone knew was that I now had the main bulk, but that a short time to confirm that was best.

"Did you tell Yamamoto that?"

"Yes, he said it was OK and that he would 'await our arrival in three days time' and then he buggered off to inform the Academy council."

It was at this point that Tōshirō, who had been absent-mindedly drying his hair with the towel around his neck, made his way over to the wardrobe to pick out a shirt to go with his jeans. Although he wasn't in a gigai, he had to admit that wearing something other than his robes was refreshing.

Tsubaki caught sight of his bare back and turned red even as she smirked at me knowingly and winked, hastily leaving the room.

I went back to my reading and was startled when Tōshirō dropped into the seat next to me, one long folded paper in his hands. I tilted my head.

"Report," He explained, waving it around. "Unnecessary, obviously, but I assume that Yamamoto still wants one for the records."

I paused as something came to mind.

"What happened to Hisamuko?"

Tōshirō frowned slightly as he turned to me, keeping his eyes on the ceiling as he thought.

"I sent him back to Seretei to keep an eye on Matsumoto. I let him hang around a day and make sure there was no activity as we moved into here, but after that I ordered him back."

My mystery solved, he looked back down at his paper and began filling out the boxes at the top, starting with his name. I laugh at the neat, printed look of the report, as well as his calligraphy.

"In my day, we had parchment and a quill."

Tōshirō shrugged. "We still have the quills, but I'm not in the habit of taking them with me on missions."

After that, we were silent as he worked and I went back to reading.

_...I hope you are happy little sister, and that you all got home safely. Give everyone my love, and tell mother that I am sorry I forced her to deceive you. I miss you all so._

_I wish I was there with you, dearest, but seeing as I cannot be, I have left you my most precious possessions. I hope that you will keep them with you and take good care of them. Please take something of me with you when you visit father's grave, though by this time I will already be with him. We will wait for you, Mitsuki. Hopefully we will not see you for many years, and you will arrive with many tales of happiness and children and fulfilment. I know you will do us proud before you see us again._

_Smile for me._

_With much love,_

_Itoe._

I should have been crying, I knew, but instead I was just sitting, staring at the paper. The letter and my memories had kept Itoe alive, but now it was over, and she was gone, the book closed. Still, I had already known that... I thought of the woman who had killed her, telling me that she wasn't my real sister. I felt a welcome rush of anger. I glanced up at Tōshirō, finding him already looking at me.

"I'm going to take a nap," I told him, shifting so that my head was resting comfortably against the back of the sofa. I saw Tōshirō nod just before I closed my eyes.

When I opened them, I was in my Shinigami robes and Takehiko was curled up next to me, tail around his front paws. I sat up and played with his ears as I looked around. I had been here since the first time, and had soon realised that the patch of green had only been generated by Takehiko to keep me comfortable. Every time since, I had appeared somewhere on the range of snow-capped mountains, looking down on the rings of clouds. This time I was in a dip between two peaks, sitting in a rather comfortable snow drift.

"What was Itoe's Zanpakutō?" I asked suddenly. That bit of information had escaped me so far.

"A seal," Takehiko replied, unfazed. I nodded. Fast, elegant and cheekily cheerful, yes, that was Itoe.

"What do you think of Tōshirō?"

Takehiko turned his head to look at me with one sharp eye. Then he turned his head back and his ears swivelled around once.

"What matters there is what you think."

He replied evasively. I sent him a look, and he huffed air through his nose, causing a mini snowstorm.

"Truthfully? I think he is a good man. He has done much for us and he will continue to do so, however anyone so secretive about their past gives me reason for concern."

I nodded; I could understand where he was coming from, of course. I just didn't happen to harbour the same doubts. I hesitated, about to ask if it was possible to bring Tōshirō along here, but then I shoved the idea away. If that were ever to happen, it would be much, _much_ later.

I sat with Takehiko for a long time, listening to the distant roar of a waterfall that was background noise. It was so peaceful here. Takehiko moved so that his head was resting on my thigh while I sat cross-legged on the ground, arms out behind me holding me up. The snow wasn't even freezing my fingers. I looked up at the clear sky; it didn't have clouds that high up. I was waiting for the sunset, I realised after some time, which eventually arrived as an amazing range of colours leaking over the horizon.

Then I scratched behind Takehiko's ear and closed my eyes, ready to go back down to Earth.

I had a terrible crick in my neck. I had 'fallen asleep' with the letter on my lap, and Tōshirō was finishing off his report with a final flourish as he signed at the bottom. I stretched and put the sheaves of paper carefully back into the envelope. Then I stood and put them back into the chest, cracking various joints as I did so, trying to work out some of the stiffness.

Tōshirō sent me a smile. "So, do you want to start packing now?"

It sounded like we were moving house together, and in that moment I had a vision of us as a normal, one-hundred percent alive humans, looking a few years older than we did now, perhaps on their way to University. For the first time, I didn't want that fantasy. Tōshirō was a Shinigami, it was the term that most encapsulated him. If he were to be anything else, he would be too different.

I laughed, the sound coming easily. "Yes, after some lunch... but it's your turn! And I vote omelette!"

He was smiling at me sidelong. I took his hand and felt like I hadn't quite lost everything.

OOO

The next chapter is the **epilogue**, which at the moment is the longest chapter at just about 6000 words. I might make it longer when I go through its final revision before posting, which will probably be in two weeks' time.

I hope you enjoyed!


	18. Epilogue

And here we are. The finally **final chapter**. This story ended up being a good 6 chapters longer than I expected it to be, and I'll admit that I added in a few twists purely for my own enjoyment. If you're reading this, hey, leave a review if you like the story enough to stick with it to the end. This is my longest story in every way imaginable. And so, without further ado, enjoy!

Disclaimer: there are many differences between myself and the real owner of Bleach... but I'd like to think the most important one is that I'm not a man. And I'm pretty young, too. And I can't draw worth a damn. So there.

OOO

I felt like we should have been walking over the hills, and I should have looked back over my shoulder as what once had been my home was destroyed in the distance. Maybe a tear would have rolled down my cheek. We would be starting a great quest and I would have made the most difficult choice of leaving my old life behind and surging into the unknown for adventure.

Except I had spent a long time not wanting to leave, and instead I was dragging one suitcase through two materialised doors. There had been no last look to memorise the house, no tearful goodbyes. Instead I was leaving Urahara and Yoruichi to blow up the house with gigais inside and my family's real bodies were being shipped ahead for the private funeral.

It had all happened so fast. But I was back in my real home now.

I knew that, finally. It had taken me a week – a week of moping and headaches and reading – but now I finally had all the memories that had been locked away. I would never forget, not anyone, no, but I knew that my place was here, and my nature was Shinigami.

Glancing around me, Seretei was much as I remembered – not that I had seen much of it. As a clan member, I had had my own complex to explore, and venturing out into the rest of Soul Society had been quite rare. And once I had started the Academy it had been a practically identical situation; Academy students were notoriously isolated. It was a very secure structure enclosed in eighteen foot high walls, and trips out for specialised training sessions only happened during your last year.

I couldn't put into words what a relief I felt being here, I would never be able to express the sense of something inside just slotting into place, me slotting into my surroundings like part of a puzzle.

I took a deep breath, tasting the freshest air, and smiled upwards at the idyllic sky. Then I opened my eyes and looked down, seeing Tōshirō standing next to me with his arms folded.

In the end, we had decided to simply start afresh. I could never have properly been with Tōshirō as Eva, but now I was truly Mitsuki. And this way, everyone could see as things progressed naturally, as we both really wanted. I couldn't deny that holding his hand would have been comforting and reassuring right now, but I had a whole year of Academy before we could properly be together.

Of course, it was all politics and procedure, and the year was simply a formality to avoid complaints. Tsubaki, standing on my left and with nothing but her Zanpakutō and a fierce determination to make everyone see that she was _Tsubaki_ and not ex-Shimatsu, hadn't complained either and had accepted Yamamoto's offer as readily as I had. We would do our year – such a short fraction of time to us now – and then we would finally start the life we had been waiting three centuries for.

I had already asked Tōshirō about the Divisions, and what would be best for us, and after a long silence he had met my eyes and told me that he wanted me close, in his Division. I had been surprised, but apparently there wasn't such stigma attached to dating your Captain a few centuries after I last checked. It had been a welcome surprise.

Tsubaki turned to me, smiling.

"You ready?"

"Oh, yeah!" I said, for a second the old me showing through.

I faced Tōshirō and resisted the urge to give him a hug or a kiss. I wished him good luck, received the smallest smile, and then watched as he walked away to meet his Commander. We had also decided that keeping our involvement secret from Yamamoto wasn't the best idea, but he was the only one we would tell. Everyone else had to realise it on their own.

I started leading the way towards the old Arima compound. A lot of it had been destroyed, or had crumbled with age, before it had been restored as a testament of what could happen when Shinigami forgot "the right path"

A lot of psychologists wouldn't have recommended coming back here, I'd bet, but I needed to do this. For closure of the old period. I would be here, with Tsubaki, and then we would carry on to the Academy, where Tōshirō would meet us and help me move my stuff into my room. And then it would be my first day all over again.

We arrived at my old home.

I was disappointed as I realised how much of our land had been taken over for something else; now just a quarter remained. To be fair, it was the most important part, with the living areas of the most prominent clan members, and the main assembly halls and dining rooms of the clan (which were distanced by an inner courtyard), as well as a few training rooms and the orchard.

I supposed that showed how many we had been. But this was an enormous amount of space for three people...

I smiled as I thought about that. I was extremely lucky that the Arima, on an outer ring compared to the Divisions (but still inside Seretei) had in fact lived right next to Ninth Division, and therefore very close to Tōshirō, which made it possible for him to live here. Of course, we both had a year of waiting before we could do that.

And equally important, Tsubaki's old home had been completely erased off the map; I was told a lone monument stood as a reminder of what once had been there, but the Shimatsu didn't even have their names written on the obelisk.

Blinking, I noticed that names had indeed been cared here, into the outer wall. The names of every Arima to perish during the Shimatsu attack. Tsubaki, stepping up next to me with her arms folded, glanced at me.

"We should add theirs." She said quietly, and it was a measure of our friendship that I appreciated her words, instead of rejecting them.

I agreed with her, before turning away and smiling at her, ready to go and set our things up in the Academy and to meet our new instructors.

"Let's go."

The Academy was much more how I remembered it, in fact, it hadn't changed at all. Tsubaki and I walked through the front doors with our heads held high, but we had to rush to get everything sorted (we had been put in rooms next to each other specially) because that evening we had a private meeting with Yamamoto before we would be presented to the rest of the Gotei Thirteen.

I sighed, because I had hoped to avoid attention, but I supposed there was no way to avoid it. At least there would be no interviews or paparazzi. The few people I had met in the corridors hadn't batted an eyelid, at least, not until we made it obvious we were going straight to the last year, but even then, nobody recognised my name.

I knew that was why Yamamoto had insisted on this. His own shame and guilt backed his determination to let no one forget the mistakes of the past.

You couldn't say I was nervous; I was too busy sorting out my new things into my brand-new accommodation and wondering whether old Yama would give me a hug when he saw me.

Tsubaki poked her head into my room.

"Ready to meet old Isame again?"

I gasped in shock and stared at her.

"Isame is _still here_?"

Isame Kaoru had been the head instructor who welcomed us (icily) on our first day. _She must be so old now! _I grinned when Tsubaki nodded and gestured with her hand for me to hurry. I bit my lip.

Academy uniforms were different to Shinigami robes, and as such, we couldn't wear them while still studying at the Academy. But I had automatically been wearing them since I had first reverted back to Shinigami form.

"One minute, I'll just get changed."

There were already sets of robes in the wardrobe and I hastily stripped off and shoved myself into one. I grunted uncomfortably; it was a size too small and strained against my hips and chest. I had an inward rant as I realised that all the robes were too small for me. Couldn't they even get my size right?

I rushed out of the room after Tsubaki but sent her an exhilarated grin as we walked briskly towards her office, feeling like we were going to be punished for pranking Takahashi and leaving him sticking him through a dry wall. Just like old times.

OOO

I tried not to feel uncomfortable as Tsubaki flirted shamelessly with Kuchiki Byakuya. I was slightly worried that she was going for him simply because it was the opposite of what a Shimatsu would have done, but I glanced at the man again and decided that he looked like he'd be able to take it a little heartbreak. Or a little chip in the ice.

"See you next week, then."

And she winked and turned away from him, latching onto my arm and letting out a loud content sigh as we continued walking. She was gazing upwards as she commented in a light voice:

"Ah, the joys of young love."

"Whatever, grandma," I goaded mercilessly.

"_Whatever_, you're just jealous because my boyfriend's prettier than yours."

"Future possible boyfriend _maybe_. And by the way, he's totally not, but I prefer muscle anyway."

Tsubaki poked her tongue out at my back as we entered the shop. Our jabs were all in good fun, but I was inwardly immensely relieved that she had her sights set on someone who might actually last. Her envy of my relationship with Tōshirō hadn't had a malicious edge, but her cutting tongue sometimes had. I didn't blame her, I too had been alone a long time.

The shopkeeper greeted us with enthusiasm as we cooed over wedding dresses. It was a little premature as Tōshirō and I weren't going to be married for a while yet – a _long_ while yet – but I was fussy and wanted to know well ahead of schedule which dress I wanted. But the first few trips were happening month after next...

I ran my hand over the white taffeta of a particularly Western gown as I glanced at my best friend surreptitiously. I didn't want to burst her bubble, but I wanted to make sure she knew what she was in for.

"Are you sure it'll be OK?"

She knew what I meant, as always. She shrugged, far from offended or concerned.

"It might not have been if I was Shimatsu. Good thing I'm not," And she smiled at me, and my worries dissolved into thin air. I was about to say something optimistic and cheerful when I spotted a breath-taking dress.

"Oh, look at the corset on _that_!" Tsubaki exclaimed as she joined me in running her hands over the crystals and – diamonds? – stitched into a blossoming flower pattern over the left side of the dress.

I stepped back and closed my eyes.

"Argh, this is like torture! Come on, lets go and find what we really need."

Tsubaki looked at me mournfully but followed me out of the shop. We said goodbye to the shopkeeper and apologised for getting our dirty mitts on everything.

"Okay, so, any ideas?"

I swung my carrier bag full of sweet items and watermelon back and forth as I considered.

"Well, not really. I don't think I can really top last years present to be honest."

"You could make another."

I sent her a disbelieving look. "You expect me to make him _another_ ice sculpture? Come on! I did that last year because I had managed to get a pretty life-like copy of Hyōrinmaru despite my lack of practice. Yeah, I'm sure I could do something better and more detailed now, but I don't want to flog a dead horse."

Tsubaki raised her hands in defeat.

"So..."

"I don't know!" I snapped, before reining in my temper. Tōshirō's birthday was in a few day's time and I was fresh out of ideas, but that didn't mean I needed to act like a bitch. I sighed. "Sorry. But I'll just have to look around and find something that reminds me of him."

Tsubaki was silent a second before pointing at a nearby fishmongers, and shaking with laughter, she said:

"Hey, look! An ice cube!"

Tsubaki exploded into giggles as I rolled my eyes but grinned. As we continued to browse through the shops and stalls I began to get more desperate.

"OK, so I was stupid. I wiped out everything to do with ice, dragons, and our abilities in one go. What does that leave? Watermelon?"

I expected to hear Tsubaki laugh, but instead she was totally silent as she stood looking through a shop window. I stepped up behind her, scanning the contents to see what had caught her eye so completely. I was about to ask when I paused and took a closer look. I shook my head.

"Nope, still can't see it. What _are_ you looking at?"

"Look at that tree."

Tsubaki was breathless. I raised my eyebrow and looked at what looked like a foot high model of a cherry blossom tree. The trunk and branches were very dark, and their roots disappeared into the thick slab of matching wood that formed the base. It was carved beautifully, and when I looked closer at the slightly rose-tinted petals adorning the branches, I gasped. They were made out of slivers of real petals immortalised in ice. I looked back at the rest of it and realised it was a real living plant that had been shrunk and entirely encased in a fine layer of ice to stop it from growing.

I stared at the light sparkling off it and took a second to reply to Tsubaki's question.

"Aren't they his favourite tree?"

"Yes," I said. "Do you want to buy it?"

Tsubaki shook her head. "Oh, no. That thing is perfect for _you_."

I went into the shop and bought the tree, which was carefully sealed into a gift box that had been specially altered to avoid breaking fragile items inside. I glanced around the shop and found a great deal of ice sculptures among the hoard that put mine to shame.

"How old is this tree?" I asked the shopkeeper, who smiled at me because I had realised the truth about it. And probably also because I had just spent a great deal of money.

"It was at the end of its life, just under twenty years old, when I preserved it, and then when I moved shop to here it got lost amongst all my endless boxes. I only just found it again, but I would guess it's been about fifty years since I last saw it."

I smiled at the story. The proportions were completely wrong, but there was a certain symmetry with my own life.

"What sort of cherry is this? Yoshino?"

"Oh, no, with the ice lightening the colour, I had to use the much darker Ezo mountain cherry. It's also much hardier, which is probably why my technique worked so well."

"It's beautiful."

He smiled at my appreciation and I left, dazed that I had found such a present. I looked around me in the suddenly harsh light and heard the shop's bell ding behind me as Tsubaki exited. I had been so wrapped up in the tree I hadn't noticed her following me in. She too was holding a glossy bag and she smiled.

"I found this trinket box in the shape of a polar bear with its cub. It's adorable! I had to buy it."

I laughed, feeling light-hearted, and Tsubaki seemed to feel the same way.

I supposed it was because we had just finished the Academy with merit, and now we were getting on with what we really wanted, and things were great. Nothing was going wrong. I didn't even hope that it would last, because I knew eventually something would change, but for now, life was sweet. And Tōshirō had even been right about us being okay, even with him being my Captain (as of last month), nobody seemed to have anything against us. I had even made a few friends from people he knew just coming up to me and saying hello.

"Right!" I said enthusiastically. "Now for flowers!"

Tsubaki nodded and said, "But not lilies, Mitsuki, I know they were her favourite..."

I shrugged. "Yeah but, she liked jasmine too. And birds of paradise. And hibiscus."

Tsubaki sighed. "And no tulips!"

"Aw, but mum didn't like any other flowers!"

"Fine, but a different colour at least."

"Ugh, it's my choice but _whatever_, you loser."

She held her hands in a placating gesture. It didn't work because she was laughing so much.

"I'm just saying. Variety isn't a bad thing."

"Funny, you have that belief with men too..."

I trailed off suggestively as I moved forward, finding it immensely gratifying to hear Tsubaki splutter indignantly behind me. Her string of unsuccessful and very short attempts at relationships had pretty much all failed because they had been... well. Tsubaki had a hard time keeping her hands to herself, put it that way.

"I know you're thinking of Daoru, but that was a one off thing!"

I shrugged and replied with attitude. "Whatever, sister."

"Sister? _Sister_?"

I laughed when I turned and spotted her blotchy face. "Calm down, _babe_, I was only messing."

Tsubaki glared at me once she realised I had been teasing her all along and stalked ahead of me into our favourite flower shop. I smiled and followed.

"You know, I was thinking the other day about Kazaku, you know, your ex..."

"Shut up!"

OOO

"Mitsuki, there's something I always wanted to know."

"Hmm?" I said non-committally as I carried on reading my book.

"Why aren't your two guards buried here?"

I sighed. It was an innocent enough question, but this was a topic I hadn't raised. He couldn't know, of course, but it was part of the knowledge I kept private.

"Because they died in Italy about thirty years before that." I turned and looked at Tōshirō. "The father you knew about was entirely human, and my little brother was his son."

He seemed to understand that my little brother had also been my mother's son, and not from a previous relationship. And he was handling the whole idea with aplomb and a calmness that I still envied.

"So the bodies can't cross over?"

I shook my head. "Definitely not my father's."

"Do you want to find them? In Rukongai, I mean."

I looked up, afraid of this question.

What must have happened back then... my father probably would have seen my mother drop like a stone as she left her gigai to protect him. Maybe my brother was there, maybe Hiroko had picked him up for lunch and had killed him then. He had been twelve years old. I couldn't imagine the worry or the horror, the fear.

I did want to lift that off his shoulders, but in another way, I knew that even if I did find him somewhere in Rukongai, I would still have to say: "your wife was already dead, so she won't be here. You'll never find her. My commiserations." How could I say that to him? I had best just let sleeping dogs lie, especially if he and my brother had both been lucky enough to lose their memories in the transition.

Eventually, I shook my head and lowered it. There were a few beats of heavy silence, then:

"When did you find this out?"

"Oh, a couple of days before we left. I also found out that seeing my guard, Sora, killed in front of me had been what pushed me to ask Urahara to give me periods where I didn't remember."

It made no sense, I knew that now. Either I would carry it with me every moment, with every step pushing it further and further away and increasing my numbness, or I would remember it over and over again, more painful every time.

"So that's why you stopped giving Urahara the evil eye."

I smiled at Tōshirō.

"Yes."

My fiancé suddenly looked worried.

"Are you sure you want to marry me without your father being able to walk you down the aisle?"

I blinked. I had never thought of that, and I was also unsure as to _which_ father he was referring to.

"Tōshirō, that part doesn't matter. I'm not one for following tradition... But your concern is rather cute."

He scoffed at me, but I could still see his relief. I closed my book and stood, taking his hand.

"Don't worry about it, Tōshirō, I'm not caught up in the past any more."

And it was true. I was standing there in the Arima compound, wearing Shinigami robes, next to the man I was going to marry, and the grounds were empty and my mother wasn't going to be there at my wedding, and I missed them all more than I could bear sometimes, but I had moved on. It wasn't holding me back, nobody was, not even ones I had loved. I had said goodbye. I was happy.

I had let them all go.

OOO

"Do we really need all that champagne?"

"Aw, come on, Mitsuki, we need to celebrate! This is an important day!"

"I'm just saying... We didn't even have that much alcohol the day they actually got married."

I smiled as Mitsuki rolled her eyes at my Lieutenant. I pretended not to hear Matsumoto's increasingly lewd appeals (some including our wedding, which I found hilarious. As if I was going to let Matsumoto ruin my wedding by throwing up over the cake) as I finished arranging the decorations for Ichigo and Rukia's crystal anniversary. The roses I had been artfully (I hoped) stringing around the room had been specially altered to only give off a faint whiff, whereas the roses in the courtyard were nearly overpowering with their smell. I had been trying to convince Mitsuki to cut them back for years now, but she had always baulked at chopping bits off something alive. I knew eventually I would have to do it it myself.

The woman in question stepped up next to me and eyed the buffet table, nodding in appreciation of how I had managed to gather up half the petals Yachiru had thrown in this general direction – the half over the food.

"What do you think, should I sneak away a few bottles for our own good?"

She murmured conspiratorially as she straightened the pristine white cloth covering the giant table. I hid my smile.

"Oh, she'll be fine. She'll only be a few metres away from a bedroom... and the bathroom."

I chuckled as Mitsuki pretended to mind how the house was going to get trashed after this undoubtedly exuberant party. She had been so flattered and pleased when Renji suggested the Arima compound for this year's surprise party; a lot of people still got jitters when they saw the tell-tale green roof tiles, even people Mitsuki had known a long time.

I tried not to cringe as I heard awfully tacky music suddenly boom out of the speakers.

"And what is _that_?" Mitsuki gasped, clearly offended that such rubbish had found its way into the main assembly hall of her clan.

"I believe it is one of the greatest Chirstmas hits of this century," I replied mournfully, turning to imitate to Ukitake to _turn it down_. The man nodded frantically as he tried to puzzle out the volume control. I sighed in relief as Chad helped him out.

The room really was quite packed. The large table to one side (against the backdrop of the small courtyard) was set for all of the guests, and the temporary dancefloor set-up, complete with lights and a brand-new surround sound speaker system (which Ukitake had probably just broken) towards the other end left a chunk of space free in the middle for the buffet table and some comfortable seating. I glanced at Mitsuki, and I could see her smiling at her home filled with people.

She had decided not to continue the Arima clan, but the sight of her friends crowding the room and filling up her home made her grin nonetheless.

I reached for her hand and her expression instantly turned towards me. She gave me a peck on the cheek as she stepped closer and leaned into me. I knew exactly what she was thinking of. I pressed a kiss onto her forehead and smiled down at her.

"Only a couple of weeks now."

Our wedding wasn't going to be a double affair with Tsubaki's and Byakuya's, but it was close enough after some serious delays involving too many missions and an abhorrent amount of paperwork. And far too much planning, as well as making it clear to everyone who wanted to see a Captain get married that it was a _private_ ceremony taking place in an undisclosed location with a reception for _selective_ guests _only_. I had come close to murder while dealing with some of the people who thought that it was their right to see me get hitched, just because they were Shinigami or just because they were noble. We had even had to keep the date under wraps. It made no sense to me why both women wanted to have it during the winter, but most men (including yours truly) backed away when faced with the twin evils of the Arima women and their sour "_men!_" expressions, so I hadn't wanted to ask twice.

Mitsuki nodded and gave me a special smile right back before rushing off to stop Kenpachi tear down some silk hangings with his hair. I tried not to laugh, barely managing to contain my reaction to a few twitches of my lips.

"It _is_ your fault, you're bloody tall and you get in the way!"

Mitsuki exclaimed heatedly as she disentangled the much taller man. She didn't even reach his shoulder and that was probably the reason Kenpachi laughed good-heartedly (if still a little unnervingly) and let her turn him around a few times before shoving him closer to the middle of the room.

"Shush, everyone, they're here!"

Tsubaki said as she arrived through the door, closing it behind her and making flapping motions with her hands, ordering Ukitake to turn off the music, which he had only just adjusted to an acceptable volume. The man looked like he was about to burst into tears before Chad explained to him that the settings were saved and that they wouldn't have to start again.

I was the one closest to the main switches and turned off the lights in the hall as soon as everyone had arranged themselves in the no-man's land between the eating and dancing areas. I left on the fairy lights decorating the courtyard tree.

The door opened, and I flicked on the lights again as a good number of people used poppers and everyone screamed "Happy crystal anniversary!"

I moved to stand next to Mitsuki, who had stepped forward to accept Ichigo and Rukia's heartfelt 'thank-you's and 'wow, it looks amazing's. Mitsuki was trying not to blush as Rukia told her she looked beautiful in her midnight-blue dress, and Ichigo was whispering to me some inappropriate comment that I found myself not minding. Rukia then turned towards the crowd with her hands on her hips.

"Well, you guys did it again!" She said, mock-angry. We laughed, Renji especially; we always moved the day to somewhere within a week of the actual wedding day, but this year we had thrown them a curveball by doing it on the actual date. At that moment, Ukitake started the music again and we were all bustled towards the buffet table.

I ignored Yachiru's sobs and tried to feel guilty about my "interference with her art"

Some hours later, just about everyone had staggered home (although we suspected Hisagi was passed out somewhere) and Tsubaki had volunteered to sweep up the confetti. Mitsuki and I walked through the courtyard towards our bedroom and when we arrived Mitsuki stepped out of her heels and flopped onto the bed, exhausted. I shook my head at her fish-like behaviour and stripped off my suit methodically before climbing into the bed, ignoring the lump weighing down the covers.

"Oh, all right then." She said tiredly, grumbling as she got up and shimmied out of her chiffon dress, leaving it in a puddle on the floor as she slid in next to me. I tried not to look at the tattoo scrawled over the side of her ribcage. Even after all these years, seeing the animals (hummingbird, seal and raven) representing her dead family members seemed like disrespect. Especially towards her father...

Her other tattoo on the underside of the opposite arm, for her human family, as she called them, was still under some bandages. She had kept that a surprise. Apparently I had to plan some sort of attack just to see what she had had inked onto herself.

I expected Mitsuki to fall right asleep, but when I opened my eyes a few seconds later I could just about see hers gazing at me.

"What did you think when you first saw me?"

I smiled crookedly.

"I thought you were short and I felt for you. Then I thought that your hair looked messy and that you laughed at everything."

Mitsuki raised one eyebrow and dropped the other. She had clearly been hoping that I would announce that I thought her the most breath-taking thing _ever_ from the moment I saw her. She was a romantic at heart, bless her.

"Are you serious? When did you first see me, anyway?"

I shrugged. "I had Maths in the class next to you, and I arrived late because of some heavy rain. I walked past you and saw you sitting with your friends."

Mitsuki's eyes glistened a little. "Yeah... I wonder where they all are now."

"Retirement homes?" I joked, and she huffed and playfully swatted me on the arm, using the opportunity to sidle closer and rest her head on my shoulder. I knew that I hadn't upset her, but I also knew we were on fairly thin ice. I didn't want tears to ruin a great day.

"Actually, I suppose they'd all be married and with kids now." I said, trying not to make it too conspicuous that I was trying to put a positive spin on things to cheer her up.

I had struck gold, as Mitsuki brightened in the way she did whenever she thought of our long-awaited nuptials. I patted myself on the back mentally.

She turned her head and looked at me with a cheeky smirk on her face.

"You've got to help me design the invitations tomorrow."

I groaned and Mitsuki full-out laughed as she turned towards me fully and settled in.

"But everyone who's coming already _knows_ when and where it is!"

"That's not the _point_, Tōshirō." Mitsuki said lightly, but I could hear the unstoppable force behind her words. She was a woman on a mission... A mission to have the perfect wedding. Too bad she'd never thought about it before now and was discovering what she actually wanted as she went along. And then changing her mind.

"Fine." I grumbled, knowing that there was no point resisting; she would undoubtedly drag me along anyway. "You're my most troublesome subordinate, I swear..."

I trailed off with a yawn and Mitsuki said faintly:

"Stop moaning already. You agreed to marry me, remember?"

"Actually, I remember getting down on one knee and _you_ agreeing. But only after teasing me, making me think you were about to say no..."

Mitsuki grunted and poked me in the ribs with her elbow.

"It was a super obvious ploy to avoid looking like an emotional idiot, and you knew it."

"But you _are_ an emotional idiot..."

"Shut up, butthead."

I gave a short, tired laugh at her childish insult and yawned again immediately, knowing that I had set Mitsuki off too. She shifted slightly until she was more comfortable, and we both fell silent. I rolled over onto my side so that I was facing her and settled my arm over her waist, pressing a kiss onto her forehead.

"Goodnight, Alex."

I smiled sleepily again at the English murmured in my ear.

"Goodnight, Eva."

OOO

I tried to change the tone a little, make the complete transition from Eva to Mitsuki obvious. If you noticed, great! And if you didn't, well, then, that's my fault, no worries :) And if you like the ending... well, fantastic!

**Here's what I originally planned to do**: Eva wasn't Mitsuki _or_ Tsubaki, she was part of a human family that Michiyo had put herself with as a sort of disguise (basically, Mitsuki died with Daisuke and Sora). Seeing as she wasn't Shinigami at all and was actually 100% live human, she would have had to have her memories erased and put right back in school after the Christmas holidays, suffering from amnesia after a 'car accident'. Yamamoto would have had guards pretend to be her family until she was 18 so that she could study. Eva, with no recollection of how Alex was actually Tōshirō, would start having a relationship with Aaron, but Tōshirō would have to continue his three-year mission as a formality and would have to see her with her boyfriend. So yeah. It would have been entirely very depressing, hence why I went in the totally opposite direction! You can't tell me you wanted the other ending xD. I also toyed around with a few variations of that and what I finally decided on (Eva being Tsubaki, a different and less important Arima and the like), but they weren't considered for very long.

And now it's time for our farewell. A special thank-you to _Tora Lynn_, the reviewer who inspired me to start again and to continue this story, and _Abby-Flourite_, who reviewed the new chapters just as faithfully! Hugs of appreciation to you both :)

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, faved and added this to their alerts.

With much lurve: goodbye!


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